A parents’ guide to young child in glasses. A 2 page pdf brochure covering some of the basics of having a child in glasses. Written by Ann Zawistoski.
Updated November 23, 2015
This post is for anyone who just found out their young child (baby, toddler, or preschooler) will need glasses and did what I did – hit the Internet hard and did some serious googling. Learning that your child will need glasses, and possibly have other vision issues is a really difficult thing. It can be quite lonely, as most of us had never known any other kids as young as ours who needed glasses. Luckily for us, the Internet has made distance irrelevant, and we’ve been able to connect with other parents going through the same issues. I’m hoping this guide can provide a bit of comfort and help at least with the glasses aspect.
Feeling upset, worried, and guilty
I’ve heard from so many parents that they were overwhelmed and upset at the news. I know I was, and it didn’t help that I was angry at myself for being upset, too – I wear glasses, and have for most of my life, so it didn’t seem right that it would upset me to learn Zoe would need them. Plus I was filled with worry: worry about buying new glasses, worry that Zoe would have life-long vision problems, worry that I wouldn’t be able to keep them on her, worry that she would forever be known as the “girl in glasses.” Don’t try to suppress your worries, but do know that it gets better, and know that you’re doing the right thing for them in helping them develop good vision.
Many parents end up feeling guilty: that they didn’t notice early enough, or that they might be somehow responsible for their child’s vision problems. There is already enough guilt in this world, and in this case you can let it go. The signs can be very difficult to catch, especially with young children who are not yet, or only just becoming verbal. They’ve never known any difference in how they see, so they are not likely to complain. The vision problems are almost always the result of genetics, natural variations, or premature birth. In other words, not your fault. At all.
- Read my post about all those swirling emotions.
- Connect with other parents going through the same thing on our facebook group.
- Read the blogs of other parents going through this.
Finding a doctor
You will be taking your child to their eye doctor a lot in the next few years. You’ll probably be there at least every 6 months, and quite possibly more often than that. Because of this, it is vital to find a doctor that you trust and who works well with your child. While many of us are very happy with the first doctor we visit, many have gone to 2, 3 or even 4 doctors to find one who will work for them.
You may also want to bring another adult with you, especially to the first few appointments. That way one person can watch and comfort your child, while the other person focuses on the information from the doctor. You’ll be getting a lot of information and you want to be able to focus on it, but your child is likely to be upset by the appointment, especially if they have their eyes dilated.
- Read our guide to preparing for your child’s first eye exam.
- Read the post about one reader’s typical ophthalmologist visit.
- Read the post where readers recommend questions to ask at your doctor’s visit.
- Read the post where readers discuss how often they see their eye doctor.
- Read the post where readers talk about getting a second opinion.
Getting the glasses
There are more and more options for glasses for young kids, but they’re not always available at every store. Ask around at different eye glasses shops to find out what kind of selection they have, and what their experience is fitting frames to small faces. You will be in for adjustments a lot, so you want to be sure they’re used to seeing small children. Also ask about warranties, for both the frames and the lenses. The frames can get bent, or broken. The lenses will get scratched quite quickly. And your child’s prescription may change multiple times in a year. Find out if the glasses place will cover frames breaking, lenses being scratched and prescription changes.
- Take a look at our guide to choosing glasses that fit your child well.
- Read an explanation of your child’s glasses prescription.
- Read the post that talks about one parent’s experience with a supplemental vision plan.
- Read the post where readers discuss which frames they purchased for their children.
- If you’re thinking about purchasing frames and lenses online, read this first.
- Take a look at the photo gallery, where most pictures include information on the brand of frames.
Getting the glasses to stay on
Many places will tell you that once your child realizes that they see better with their glasses, they’ll be much more likely to leave them on, and even ask for them first thing in the morning. And that’s true, but the trick is getting through that initial stage when they don’t want these funny things sitting on their face. Every child is different, some will take to their glasses immediately, while others fight tooth and nail for months. We recently did a poll on how long it takes kids to wear their glasses reliably, about 65% were wearing them well in a week or less, but more than 15% of the kids take longer than a month before they’ll wear them reliably. Odds are your child will surprise you and take to their glasses quickly, but if they don’t, know that you’r not alone in your struggles.
While there are a lot of strategies to get your child to leave their glasses on, the key seems to be to stay calm and positive (which is easier said than done) and consistent about keeping them on (ok, this is also easier said than done). When your child takes them off, put them back on with a smile, but don’t make a big deal about it. If they are really fighting or upset, set the glasses to the side for a few minutes until your child calms down and try again. You’ll also want to have activities on hand when you put those glasses on. Boredom and glasses do not mix!
You might also want to check out some of the books that are out there about kids in glasses. For some kids, reading books about a specific situation can really help them understand what’s going on.
- Read our post with tips of helping your child wear their glasses.
- Check out the Collected Wisdom section on getting your kids to wear glasses. (It’s a collection of strategies that have worked for the readers of this blog).
- Read our post on rules for children wearing glasses.
Other people’s reactions
You will get comments about your child’s glasses. It’s uncommon to see a young child in glasses, but glasses are common enough that I think people feel comfortable asking about them. Luckily, the comments are nearly always positive ones, though you’ll become practiced at answering the questions of how you knew your child needed glasses, and how doctors can figure out the prescription for children so young. As for other kids, your child probably won’t have to put up with mean comments from kids just yet. You’re more likely to have to deal with other kids trying to take the glasses out of curiosity, or asking their own parents if they can have glasses. There has also been some research that found that most school-age kids don’t believe that glasses make other kids less attractive or less athletic, only that they’re likely to think kids with glasses are more honest (read the post about that study). There has also been some research that finds (surprise, surprise), that having a child in glasses is much harder on parents than it is on kids. Of course this doesn’t mean your child will immune from being teased about their glasses, but it sounds as though the unattractive, unathletic, nerd stereotype is perhaps fading.
Final thoughts
No one who has been here will tell you that this is easy, but you are not alone in this. Remember that you are doing the absolute best thing for your child and his or her vision by getting them treated early. We hope you’ll stick around and read a few of the stories here and introduce yourself and join in. We’ve all learned so much from each other. Best of luck all around.
- Check out the In the beginning… categories for more stories from parents about finding out their child needs glasses.
- Join our facebook group. Really. It’s an amazing group of parents going through the same thing you are. There’s a lot of support and helpful information shared in that group.
- Have more questions? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions page for more specific questions and answers.
For Little Eyes 
This is AWESOME!!!!
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My 4 years old shortsighted and I am crying for about 1 week her glasses are ready ill collect it today . nothing seems to comfort me I feel terrible and very sad I don’t want to cover her beautiful eyes with glasses and I am trying to understand that all her life will be different …I hope she will like it and never feel sad
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Oh, Francis. Just know that so many other parents have felt this way, too — including me. It’s hard. But also know that getting her glasses is what she needs to see well, and doing that is one of the best things you as her parent can do right now.
My daughter was 1 when she got glasses, she’s 9 now, and her glasses are just a part of her and they really highlight and frame her beautiful eyes.
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I am going though the same now.My 19 month old son just got his glasses in yesterday and I feel heartbroken looking at him. His glasses are so strong(+7 and +6.5). He has to wear them every waking hour, and already I miss looking at his little face since now the glasses are so present. We haven’t left the house since he got them, I’m not ready for the looks we will get or the questions that may be asked.
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Omg’sh I eaych my 17 months old granddaughter, Her Glasses are Just as Strong as You Son’s !! Your Hurting Him in the Long Run !! That’s You Son Who Cares about what People think? You Need to hold Your Head Up High !! Be A Proud Mother Simply Because Your Helping Your Son & By You Being Embarrassed”””” That’s A Shame that Your Embarrassed to Take Your Little Boy out in public !!! He make really enjoy being able to see what He’s been missing !! He will be board at Home then the Fight will be On !! Sorry to come across harsh , this is my second gtandchild to have to wear glasses first time my grandson wore glasses then surgery, bow my granddaughter is 17 months she in her 3rd pair & They are so Strong, We aren’t ashamed nor embarrassed we are doing what is best for both of them so they will be able to see just imagine yourself not being able to see wouldn’t you want to see the world good luck with your son and please don’t be embarrassed you should be a proud mother doing what’s right for your son have a blessed day God bless you and good luck !! 🙂
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I’m 28 now, but I’ve worn glasses since I was 2… And in pre-k I had to wear a patch over my dominant eye to (hopefully) strengthen the muscles that control my lazy eye… I pretended to be a pirate… The only time in my childhood I suffered from wearing glasses was in high school when I broke my frames, couldn’t afford new ones, and there was nothing to control my lazy eye… Oh the jokes my classmates had about my crossed eye -_- the only other occasion that pops into mind is trying to play basketball in 5th grade but my glasses kept jostling loose. Its really not a harmful or sad experience.. And if you get multiple frames of diff colors that accommodate the same lenses, it’s a really fun way to accessorize:)
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Hi, all. This is my first time posting, and I am not sure I am doing this right, but here it goes. Three weeks ago I took my boys in for a normsl check up with their new pediatrician, and two of them failef the eye chart part, so my husband and I scheduled them all appointments with an eye doctor. As it turns out all my boys are having vision problems. 5/6 of them are getting glases next Friday, and the one who is not will most likely get them in six months (the doctor thought his vision problem st this point is too minimal for glasses, but in six months he dhould need them). This was all so suden, and such a shock. I might sound like an awful mother, but I have been crying so much because of this news. I do not know what to do. My husband and I do not wear glasses, and this is all new for us. We are in out our heads. I am so worried about my boys. How could all of them have problems? Did we do something wrong? We have tried so much to prevent this by kerping their screen times to a very low and amount, 1 hour a week. Do any of you have any tips. Their ages are 9, 8, 6, 5, 2, and 1. Nick, my 2 year old is the one that will probably need them in six months, but the rest (even my 14 month old) will be getting them in about two weeks. What’s more the doctor went to reffered us to a specialist for Trenton (the baby). This spund selfish, but what will people say, 2hen all of them start wearing their glassed, what if people judge, or tease them. What about Trenton, he is a baby.
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I just found out the my 8 month old daughter Madalyn needs glasses. She is extremely farsighted and her right eye turns in. We have actually picked up her glasses and we are going on day 3. Today has been the hardest and no matter what she finds a way to get them off her head. She looks adorable in them and we noticed a significant difference in her almost immediately. It can only get better from here.
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Hi Amanda!
I just found out my 18 mo old daughter needs glasses and both her eyes turn outward. I have a preacription but don’t have a clue as to where to buy the frames and lenses. Everywhere I call say they don’t have frames for children that young. Can you help me out? How did you know what size frames your child needed? And where did you buy the glasses, etc…? It is great to hear that your child has had great results already. I’m hopeful that glases for my child will fix her wandering eyes.
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My little Princess did not want to wear her glasses and kept “losing” them . cause she afraid about the laugh from her classmates.
So i bought a nice cartoon tough case for her as a gift. U know what ? SHE LOVES IT SO MUCH!!!
Now she felt self-counscious about wearing glasses in class or apprehensive about taking them out. All kids around her focus on the cute case . Lol
If you have same trouble . So try this. i got it from Amazon.
This case gives my daughter a little more independence. and is adorable as well !
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I was going to say “awesome”, but I don’t want sound like a copycat of Melinda. I’ll stick with “excellent” and post a link on my blog.
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Thanks, both of you! I hope it’s helpful, it’s pretty much what I wanted to find when I first started searching for information. Anything I missed?
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Pingback: Little Four Eyes Writes about First Glasses « Bright Eyes Family Vision Care News & Updates·
This is a great guide. I almost think there should be a wikipedia page linking back to all of this!
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Thank you for your article but I have to admit I’m stilling having a difficult time believing my 4 1/2 year old needs glasses. We took her to her required kindergarten eye exam feeliong it was a waste of time but they gave us the shock of our life. It never crossed my mind my daughter had any vision impairments because I’m a stay at home mom that watches her carefully and have never noticed anything, plus she says she can see fine. So I took her for a second exam that day and he stated the same thing but different diagnosis and prescription. I’m not quite sure what to do now because the doctors are conflicting and I dont know if she actually has vision problems or its just my self not wanting her to wear glasses. I want to help but not hurt her vision if she does not need them. Can someone please give my your opinion I struggeling real hard with this decision. In case its pertenant for those of you that understand eye prescriptions one of hers is OD +4.00 -0.75 x020 OS+4.75 -0.50 x180 any replys appreciated.
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Hi Amanda,
My daughter has worn glasses since she is 9 months old to try and correct her crosseyedness after an unsuccessful eye muscle surgery. Since then, I have done a lot of research, but only recently figured out how they determine what kind of prescription she needs for her glasses since she is only 2 1/2 now. First of all, it is very hard to notice that a young child has a vision problem and it often goes diagnosed for a long time unless there is something obvious like squinting or holding a book very close to see it, or crossing of the eyes, etc. We have a friend, who is 13 and only just now found out that she is legally blind on her left eye and never even knew she couldn’t see well in that eye. Children adapt so easily that they will not give you a clue that they can’t see well. Also, since it’s all that they have ever known, they don’t know that they could see better or differently. Your daughter’s prescription is very similar to our daughter’s prescription and even if our Ellie does not wear her glasses she can function normally. When they do the eye exam and they put different lenses in front of your daughters eyes and then shine a light in her eye, the way that the eye responds to that light and the lens, helps the doctor determine the prescription for the lens. While for an adult, we can look through a machine and tell the doctor how we see better, they could also do this for adults to determine our prescription. I think it is safe to say that the prescription is correct. If you get a second opinion, there may be a minor difference to the prescription. Did you see an optometrist (OP) or a pediatric ophtomologist (MD, PO) for your daughter’s eye exam? If you haven’t seen a PO yet, it might be a good idea to get your pediatrician to refer you to one to get a final opinion on what the prescription should be. I know it is hard to comprehend that your daughter needs glasses (it was hard for me), but it will help strengthen her eyes and help her to see better, and she may even outgrow it. I hope this helps!
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Hi corrie and ann,
i just found that my 20 month old daughter needs glasses and it took me a few days to get out of being shocked. I am still upset but i chose her glasses yesterday and they will be ready in a couple of days.
i asked the doctor about eye patches, he told me to get her used to glasses then try the patches. She has accomodative esotropia and that makes her left eye cross.
I was wondering if the patch goes onto her good eye or onto the eye that crosses?
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Hi Amanda – I agree with Corrie. You can see a PO and get another opinion if that makes you feel more confidant about the prescription. Aubrie got glasses at 20 months for a +5.5 prescription in both eyes & at 32 months we bumped up to +5.75. I never thought she had vision issues at all. She LOVED books & put puzzles together like a pro…even upside down ones! She was very bright and nothing seemed behind. However, she started crossing her eyes, so that was our clue that something wasn’t quite right. Now Aubrie is over 3 and talks non-stop, but she still won’t tell me if she sees better with her glasses. She just doesn’t know what it’s like to see well without them…it is all she’s ever known. I completely understand where you are at though. It’s a scary feeling…lots to worry about, guilt for not catching it sooner…so much that it’s a bit overwhelming for us parents at first! However, it is all worth it. When she gets her glasses & wears them constantly you will know the Dr. was right and the worries get better…you just worry about teasing as they grow older next. However, my PO says about 50% grow out of it in their teens so there is always hope 🙂 Goood luck & follow your motherly instinct!
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Thank you Corrie and Annie she has not seen a OP but we have an app for her pediatrican on monday for her kindergarten exam. I’m going to discuss whats going on with her dr and get hopefully a third opinion.
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That’s great you have to see your pediatrician anyway! I hope he/she will be able to reassure you as well! I couldn’t imagine Ellie with glasses… I mean can you imagine a 9-month-old in glasses? She didn’t have them for more than a week, and I couldn’t imagine her without them. When she wakes up in the mornings and I see her without her glasses, it’s like there is something missing. I know you will feel this way about your daughter!!! I agree with Annie, too, my daughter talks like a book, she never stops, and yet when I ask her if she can see better with her glasses than without them, she will not give me an answer. Because she adapts so easily with or without the glasses, they just cannot tell you that they can’t see well. On another note, we get more comments about how cute Ellie is with her glasses than we do with my three other children combined! 🙂 I am sure your daughter will be absolutely adorable with glasses, and she will grow to love them as will you!
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Hi Amanda! Besides all the great advice you’ve already gotten, I wanted to add that children who are farsighted often show no indication of having vision problems, especially when they’re young (according to the prescription you posted, she’s farsighted). Children who are farsighted can accommodate and compensate for some of the farsightedness in order to focus. This puts a big strain on their eyes and can lead to accomodative esotropia which leads to amblyopia. But the fact is, they won’t show the typical signs of vision problems that we all watch out for, as those are signs of being nearsighted.
I’m not sure what to say about the two different opinions, other than maybe to go back to the first doctor and tell him or her what the other doctor said and see if they can explain what might be leading to the differences?
Best of luck and please keep us updated on how things go for you!
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Post a picture when she gets them…we’d love to see. Like Corrie said you’ll get so used to her wearing them, and without them she’ll look like something is missing. I always worried about covering Aubrie’s beautiful eyes…she has the longest eyelashes. I actually cried about it at that time…I was so upset. Now with her prescription her eyes are even bigger! She also gets lots of compliments on how cute she is and how well she does with the glasses! I think she’s more beautiful with them! I never thought I’d say that 🙂 Best of luck you guys will do great 😀
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Tons of great advice, let me add that our pediatrician is great, but did not notice our Elly had a vision problem. When I brought it to her attention, she looked in her eyes and said she absolutely nothing wrong, but that she trusts my mom instinct and would like a specialist to see her. Turns out, she was 20/1200 in her right eye, with double vision, and Amblyopia.
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You guys are such a great help and support system, thank you. I spoke with her second opti yesterday on the phone for 20 minutes and feel alot more confident and comfortable that we are doing is the right thing. Also I let the dr know about this site and ask him to pass it on for other parents that have the coping problem I did. Also to help other parents sometimes the cheap ops arent always the best I took Kylie to the walmart vision center in my area where they missed the diagnosis of amblyopia and gave her a much weaker RX, the original one i posted. Also they didnt even measure her eyes with the device that looks like huge space googles. Her dr at value vision was alot better with children and found the farsightness and amblyopia so her new script will be something like RT +4.00 -0.5 and LT +5.25 -0.5 after we get her eyes dialated they will determine the exact RX. I will keep you guys posted and again thank you all. =)
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That’s great that your doctor was willing to take the time to help you through all your questions! Just one word of advice from my own experience and struggles, since your daughter has amblyopia (lazy eye), it will be very important that your little Kylie wears her glasses to help the weaker eye to work. Otherwise, she may need to do patching, which compared to wearing glasses is a much bigger struggle! Did the doctor say that she would have to patch because of the amblyopia? You’ll have to send a picture once she gets her glasses. I am sure she will be too cute!
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No they did not say she would have to wear the eye patch. Her “lazy eye” is actually retro or something so its not severe or noticableat all. The dr. said the glasses should take care of it the right eye is just stronger and shes trained her brain to use it more and that made the left eye not work as hard. Ill send a pic when she gets them!
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I just found out today that my 4 1/2 year old has to wear glasses. They originally did a screening at her pre-school and sent a letter home that they suggest that I take her to a specialist because they felt she has a vision problem. I scheduled an appointment to a well known optometrist in the area that specializes in peds. I waited months for the appointment and when I took her today I was anticipating on hearing that everything was fine- as she has never showed any signs of having trouble seeing. However, the exact opposite happened. Not only does she have a mild vision problem, but she also has a pretty strong astigmatism which is impairing her vision even more, and that her right eye muscle wasn’t as strong has her left. Ofcourse, I cried. This was my ‘baby’, and now she needs glasses.. I felt such guilt as her mom- is there something I could have done? Fed her more carrots, made her stand even further from the tv? How did I NOT notice she had trouble seeing?! I felt like a failure, felt guilt, and felt even worse for my daughter. The doctor explained to me that children usually don’t show signs, especially if they are born with it- they learn to naturally adjust and don’t realize what it is like to see better. She also explained that this would help gain strength in her weaker eye. Also, I worried what the other kids would say when she comes back to school next week with glasses. I just felt so bad for her. Then all of the sudden she looks at me and says “Mommy don’t cry. I like glasses, they look like jewelry. And you look beautiful in your glasses.” (I recently got glasses so that I wouldn’t wear my all the time)… Her comment made me smile, eased my worries and made me realize it was going to be OKAY – especially if it helps her see! 🙂 Tomorrow we are going and picking out frames. If my 4 1/2 is going to be okay, I need to be okay too! 🙂
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Thanks for the update (and the kind words about the site). It’s great that you found a doctor willing to take the time to talk with you and help you feel more comfortable. Doctors like that are worth their weight in gold! Keep us updated – I can’t wait to see the pictures.
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I am so glad that I found this website. I have a 20 month-old little boy and we just found out today that he has Accomadative Estropia. I noticed about 2 months ago that his eye was turning in every once in a while (only when he is eating…bring the fork.spoon to his mouth). It has progressed to almost everytime he eats, but this is the only time. Today, his appt was the consultation, I have eye drops to administer for the next 3 days to dialate his eyes. After taking about 10 pics, they noticed the turning in about 3 pics. The OP (who specializes in this field is great!) said she is pretty sure he is farsighted and that he has AE. We will find out more next week when we go for the eye exam.
I have to admit, I feel extremely selfish when I look at my child and think about the negatives of his medical condition. I am worried about him having to wear glasses, people staring and asking questions and so forth. I know that it doesn’t matter and I am blessed to have a healthy child. It just sucks! So, thank you all that have shared and continue to share your stories. It makes it easier for the newbies, like myself. I will keep everyone updated.
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Sorry…”Accomodative”
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Welcome Alicia! Oh I can so relate to feeling upset about the diagnosis. You’re right that it could be worse, but it’s still hard to deal with, and I don’t think we should be too hard on ourselves for being a little upset. I think one of the things that was hard for me was that glasses are so visible. Everyone can see that your child wears glasses and that definitely increases the number of comments. And I don’t like that Zoe is known as the “one with glasses” but she’d probably be defined by her appearance some other way, and the good news is that almost all the comments have been positive, and kids in glasses really are extremely cute.
Keep us updated on how the exam goes next week! You’ll have to send in a picture, too once he’s in his glasses. I’m sure he’ll look great.
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I just wanted to chime in… My son (now 5) has worn glasses since he was 3. He is farsighted and has a lazy eye. We’ve had a lot of experience with patching, glasses, and vision therapy. I know that lots of people think that glasses will somehow detract from their child- people will ask questions or there will be social stigma. We have never found that to be the case. People make “pirate” comments with the patch, but my son shrugs it off or laughs. Really, at such a young age there is no stigma with the glasses, there is no big deal. They become part of him. He plays rough-and-tumble, he does everything with them on. He puts them on first thing, takes them off before bed.
My husband sewed his patch 🙂 It is perfect! It slips over the lens of his glasses, covers everything and is comfortable.
Now, my 6 month old baby is getting glasses (farsighted as well). I’m interested to see how this will go and I am suspecting he will be getting A LOT of attention in the supermarket!
Anyway, just wanted to share that I think a lot of people are dissapointed when their young child needs glasses. That somehow, they won’t be as beautiful. Or that they are not perfect. Or they imagine the “worst case scenario” in terms of social situations. But really, it is not all that bad 🙂 Really!
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Hi Alex, thanks for sharing! I have to agree with you, that no it is not so bad. As for your 6-month old, be prepared for a lot of comments. We never got negative comments. Most comments were things like, “wow I can’t believe she keeps these glasses on” or “I did not know they make glasses this small.” It is really a great way to talk to people and even encourage them to have their children’s eyes checked, just in case. You mentioned you went through vision therapy with your son. We are also in the process of doing this with our daughter against our PO’s recommendation. Our insurance does not cover it, but we are seeing results, so I am willing to continue. What was your experience?
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This is such a helpful website–and this article is great. I just found out my 2 year old needed glasses and I was devastated. I had no clue what to expect, how to get her to wear her glasses. At least now I have a better idea!
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Thanks for the kind words, Jennifer. I know it’s overwhelming to hear that your toddler needs glasses. Please feel free to post any questions or concerns you run in to – we’ve got a great group here for support.
We’d love to see a picture of your daughter in her new glasses, too!
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This web page is great.
I just found out our 21 month old has accomodative esotropia due to farsightedness. Our son is also a premie, born at 25 wks gestation, although we have been so lucky as he is doing extremely well given such a rough start. We have regular check up on his eyes due to being prem but he doesn’t appear to have ROP. When his eyes started turning a few months back we let it slide since we had an appointment a few months away & figured we mention it then. A few weeks before the appointment we started to notice it more than just when he was eating and of course now I am overwhelmed with guilt of not trying to get in sooner…. would seeing the PO when we first saw the eye turn change the results??
So now we start a new roller coaster of doctors appointments… which we’re up for, but concerned about living in a small community and choices for glasses, experience fitting ect.
To add more to our story we also have a 3 month old son… born full term… and I’m now concerned he could develop the same eye condition. When should he be looked at??
This web page has really helped me!
Thanks for your efforts!
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Hi Keri, I am glad you found this site, there is some wonderful information on here and many parents, including Ann Z the moderator have gone through the very same thing with their children. I don’t believe that had you brought your son into the PO sooner, would have changed the outcome on his eye turn. The problem with strabismus is that if it goes undetected for too long and is not corrected with glasses, it can lead to amblyopia. This is when the brain starts blocking out the signals from the weaker eye (the eye that turns in) and decides only to use the better working eye. This of course decreases vision in the eye that is not being used. This is fixed by patching the good eye to work the weaker eye. But it is much harder to patch than to put on glasses! Our daughter has infantile esotropia from birth and we have been patching, surgery, and glasses for over two years now. We are now doing vision therapy as well! I know what it is like to have younger children and an “older” child with medical problems as we have four children four and under and the oldest has a hearing loss amongst many other problems and then Ellie has the eye problems since birth. Thankfully the two youngest one’s are healthy so far. Sorry, I am rambling…. Our pediatrician recommended our youngest ones should see a PO at age 6 months to rule out vision problems. Anyways, hang in there, the first few weeks can be rough adjusting to a new routine! You son is a trooper, he has been through a lot! I am sure he will adjust easily! Let us see a picture of him when he gets his glasses! I am sure he will be so cute! Take care!
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Hi Keri, and welcome! Please don’t feel bad about waiting to with his eyes turning. You’ve still caught the esotropia very early on, and it’s likely that the few months won’t have made a difference. Zoe’s eye first started turning around 8 months, we saw a PO at 9 months and the PO actually told us to wait a bit since she wasn’t too farsighted at that appointment. She didn’t get glasses until 14 months.
I think your second son should be examined some time between 6 and 12 months, he does have a higher likelihood of having accommodative esotropia, though the chances are around 1 in 4, so he may be just fine.
I saw your other comment about the worry that glasses and eye appointments will be overwhelming. I have to admit, there are times when I felt like I lived at the eye doctor’s and the glasses shop, but the appointments are getting more and more spread out – we now only have appointments every 6 months. There’s a fantastic blog about a boy who was also born very prematurely (http://snowdeal.org/section/ex_machina/), he wears glasses for ROP, and is nearly 5 years old – plays hockey and is basically a normal nearly 5 year old. I read about him getting glasses before we ever knew Zoe had a problem, and reading his story made me feel better about kids in glasses being just fine.
Keep us updated on how things go!
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Thanks for your advise Corrie,
We’re moving on now & I’ve stopped getting myself all worked up with internet info! Now I’m researching glasses options & tips for advice on starting out. One worry I still have is that glasses and all the appointments to come will take away some of that childhood freedom. But I suppose notnot beeing able to see would be worse!
All the best with your family. You must be one super mom!
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No. I wish I was. 🙂
I know it is overwhelming and in the beginning you will be going to the doctor more often, but once they get the prescription right and hopefully fix his eye turn, you may only have to go every six months to a year. Hopefully, you will be able to find a great place for glasses for your little guy and someone will take the time to be sure they fit well. From personal experience, it would be good to have a warranty on the glasses as they can break easily. Ellie is not really a rough kid, but she has broken her glasses three times and we had to have them completely replaced. We have an unconditional one year warranty on both the frames and the lenses which means if our PO changes her prescription during that year, they will fill the new prescription lenses for free. At this age, it is definitely worth the extra cost! The internet is great, but it is also overwhelming! There are some tips on this website for starting out kids with their glasses. I think the biggest thing is consistency! Once your son realizes how much better he can see, he will ask for his glasses!
All the best to you and your family!!
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Great site! I just found out today that my 4 yr old needs glasses and I am having a very hard time dealing i\with it! She is already extremely tall (just turned 4 and is 1 in shy of 4 ft tall) so now I feel like she will really stand out when she goes to school!
I have been trying to be positive and let her know that she is going to get to pick out some cool glasses!
Wonderful site!
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Hi Michelle, glad you found this site! It can bring you a lot of encouragement and help! I know it is tough when we have to put our kids through hard things to adapt to, but they take it so much easier than we (her parents) do! I have a four-year-old like you that wears a hearing aid and has to wear headgear as much as possible during the day and at night. She feels like it is the most normal thing in the world and although other kids ask what she has on or why she talks different (her hearing loss was detected late), they have never picked on her or made fun of her. I also have a two-year-old that has been wearing glasses since she is nine months old and although people often comment on them (especially since she also has to patch), it does not seem to bother her. I am sure that your daughter will be absolutely beautiful in her glasses and being tall makes her stand out above her peers, so they will be too afraid to pick on her. 🙂 I can’t believe she is so tall! She would make our shorty look like a dwarf. 🙂 Does it run in the family? Do send Ann Z a picture of her if you like. We would love to see her in her glasses! Finding cute glasses can be a challenge sometimes, but there are many recommendations on this site, so don’t give up! Hang in there! Before you know it, they will have become so much a part of your daughter, you will feel like something is missing when her glasses are not on her nose.
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My 3-year old has lazy eye and also misaligned eyes. We tried the patch, which was very difficult. He also has glasses, which at first he would not wear. He was really complaining about seeing two of everything (which was heart breaking to me) and for the past couple of weeks he has been wearing his glasses all of the time. I assume they actually make him feel better. We go back to the eye doctor this week. She feels that he will need surgery, but we will know for sure this week. I am scared.
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Hi Theresa and welcome! I’m glad your son is wearing his glasses now, does he still complain about seeing double?
Please keep us updated and let us know how the appointment this week goes. I know that fear of hearing the “surgery” word. In some ways, the fear leading up to it was harder than the surgery itself.
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The PO said Elly saw double as well, but she was too young to tell us. I can’t imagine how hard that would be for an on the move toddler! I am hoping the patching helped, but we are also looking at surgery for her eyes turning out (possibly around the age of 5)
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My son is 9 years old has astigmatism and is nearsighted. He was breastfed from birth till age 1. My husbands vision is fine mine is at about -4.75. I didn’t wear glasses until age 20.My son is at -6.50 and -6.75. Why and how did this happen?Im so worried about his eyes getting worse. He started wearing glasses at age 5 and they keep getting worse.
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Welcome Mimi! From everything I’ve read, vision problems like this are usually either hereditary, or just something that happens some times, and nothing you did or didn’t do could change it.
Unfortunately, most children who are nearsighted will continue to get more nearsighted throughout their childhood and no one knows quite why (I just asked Dr. Bonilla-Warford about this). You might want to check out the post I just wrote about some promising developments with ortho-k stopping the progression of nearsightedness – http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/07/08/possible-method-of-slowing-the-progression-of-nearsightedness-in-children-smart-trial/
Good luck to you and your son. I know it has to be frustrating to see his vision get worse at each appointment.
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Looking for help…our 20 month old started with patching due to an eye turning in…she did great with the patch, no issues. Patching was successful for a few months…then her “good” eye started to turn in as well. Never at the same time (which I guess is technically a good thing because her brain was still using both eyes). We were given a prescription and she has been wearing her glasses with no issues. Adjusted great…however, her eyes are still turning in about 4 days into wearing her glasses. I am SO sad. I had such high hopes for the glasses helping her eyes.
She was a champ with the patch and now with the glasses it really bugs me nothing is helping her! Do we “wait” it out? Do her eyes need to adjust to utilizing the glasses or should she be taken in ASAP for a prescrip change? (the PO told me to bring her back in a month after he gave me the prescription.)
Sorry if I am posting this in the wrong place, just looking for some help.
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Hi Chantel, This is a fine place to post, though if you want, I’m happy to post this as a blog post on the front page. We always were told to wait at least a couple of weeks after getting a new prescription to see how her eyes adjusted, so I would give it the month. I know how hard it is to see those eyes cross, though!
What great news that she doesn’t need to patching any more, though!
Keep us updated on how things are going.
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Hi. I’m new to this site and virtually new to any type of support group. But I have a 4 year old daughter with strabismus due to farsightedness and I feel so alone sometimes. I’ve been reading other peoples stories and I think I need to talk to people who understand what we’re going through because they’ve been through it as well.
A little about my daughter. Shortly after her 3rd birthday (Oct. 08) we noticed her left eye turning in. Right away I made an appointment and she was in glasses within 2 months. Her Rx is about a +3.5 in the left and slightly lower in the right. Things were great for about 2 months then we noticed crossing again and it was in her other eye as well (I guess that’s the accomodative part of it, no ambliopia). Dr. put her in a bifocal and she’s been in the same Rx since (this was about Feb 09). She had a follow up back in May and he said she looks good and to come back in 6 months. Well, I now am noticing crossing again and I’m waiting to take her back in to see why. I’m figuring her Rx has changed but I guess what I’m trying to know is whether anyone else has the same situation as me. The bifocals help alot. I don’t notice crossing when she uses them but it’s the top part of the glasses that I do, at distance.
Having my daughter in glasses breaks my heart sometimes. I have a hard time dealing with it and the bifocal makes those feelings worse sometimes especially with pictures because you see this line across her pupil. A lot of people say how cute she is with her glasses and she is so cute with them but it’s hard not to feel alone.
I appreciate this site a lot and glad I came across it. Thanks.
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Gretchen, our story is EXACTLY like yours!! Shortly after my daughters 3rd birthday (this Sept. 09) we noticed her left eye turning in when she would be looking at things close up. We just saw a Pediatric Opthomologist yesterday and she prescribed her glasses with bifocals. We should be getting them in next week.
I also feel very alone. Somewhere I read that they feel like “A loss of a face they’ve stared at for 3 yrs” and that’s exactly how I feel! I feel bad and guilty for being upset about this, and I know she’ll look “cute”…but there’s so much more to be worried about than to be happy about. Obviously I’m happy that we caught it in the very beginning and should be ok in the future, but I’m scared of these next few years. Will she get made fun of? Will the help her? How will I know if her prescription is changing? Will she fight me on wearing them? How many times will her brother who’s 1 break them?! Will she have long term problems? And so on and so on.
Thanks for posting your story…its nice to know others are out there going through the same thing.
I hope your daughter is well :o)
Thanks,
Erin
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Hi Erin
I check in now and then to this blog and was reading your story and saw that you responded to me so I thought I’d respond back.
It’s so scary in the beginning and every time something changes it gets a little scary again but you can’t let your daughter know that. I don’t know how many times I started crying in the Drs office and had to compose myself for her. It’s a hard thing to deal with. My daughter’s funny. She never is upset about her glasses. She takes it like a pro. She tells people, before they can even say anything to her, that her glasses “help me to focus better”. She’s never had anyone(kids, her brother,etc.) say anything negative about them. I think one time a kid asked why her glasses were broken (the bifocal) but she just tells them “they help me to focus”. Silly.
We just started vision therapy with her and I’m dying to know if there’s any improvement. We see the therapist on Monday, her first appt since starting 6 weeks ago. Fingers crossed but preparing for the “no improvement” I’m optimistic though. We’ll still keep trying even if that’s the case. That’s the thing. You can never give up.
Things will get a little easier but when things change(Rx, etc.) it does get you down again but just know that you’re not alone.
As far as knowing when your daughters Rx changes, believe me, you’ll know. Head turn, looking over the top, maybe crossing again. That’s what happened with us this last time.
Hang in there and try to be positive as much as you can. You did catch it early and just know that you’re doing the best thing for her. It WILL just become who she is but won’t outshine her.
Take care,
Gretchen
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Hi Gretchen! And welcome. I know that some of the readers here have kids in bifocals, and that they can do wonders for straightening out the eyes of some of the kids with strabismus. I would agree with your instinct that she might have a change in prescription, are you able to get in before her 6 month appointment?
It can be so hard to see our little ones in glasses. Just know that you are doing the absolute best thing for her vision by putting her in the glasses, and I have no doubt that she looks wonderful in them. If you’re willing, we’d love to have her picture in our photo gallery!
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I’m making an appointment this week to get her in ASAP which may be a week or so from now. Her Dr is pretty good about getting us in quickly so I’ll just have to see.
My daughter also has a twin brother who doesn’t wear glasses. I’ve had his eyes checked also by her Dr and his vision is good. I know I’m doing the very best thing for her by taking charge of her vision and doing something about it. I guess you can say I have my bad days and good days which I’m sure everyone here does. It’s just hard to have twins and have one with such bad vision and one with great vision. They’re two different people but as a mother they’re so much the same sometimes (a team).
I’ll let you know what the outcome is with her appointment. Thanks for the support.
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Hi. We just had our daughters appointment today and her Rx has gotten worse. Like 1.5 increase. I had a feeling this was the reason why her eyes were crossing again but I didn’t expect it to be so much.
So now the topic of surgery has come up. My choice is to try vision therapy first and get a second opinion. I have a feeling that regardless of the new Rx her eyes will continue to get worse and cross. I’m confused about surgery for her condition. Different things that I’ve read is that surgery is never recommended for accomodative esotropia but if the glasses are failing then it is. But should I do surgery even though the glasses do help but the crossing only occurs when her Rx changes. I’m confused.
Any one with good outcomes from vision therapy? I’m scared to jump into surgery without trying it first. Any advise is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
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Hi Gretchen. It is common for farsighted children’s prescriptions to get worse in the beginning. I don’t understand why, but I found a few articles that talk about that being normal – Zoe’s prescription did the same thing, though the stronger prescription never fully stopped the crossing.
Here’s my understanding of the surgery and accomodative esotropia question (understanding that I am not a doctor). In most cases of accomodative esotropia, surgery is not recommended. But in about 1/4 of the cases, there is an element of crossing that is not related to being farsighted – known as “partial accomodative esotropia.” In those cases, the surgery done should only correct the eye crossing that isn’t corrected by glasses. So, if the glasses are correcting her eye turn – even if you have to keep increasing the prescription – then surgery is not a good option, and I would look for a second opinion. If her eyes continue to cross, even with a new prescription, then I would consider the surgery. Basically, the surgery cannot correct farsightedness, glasses can, so if the crossing is due only to farsightedness, surgery would not be a good idea.
Zoe had the surgery a year ago, after we’d tried a few different prescriptions, and her eyes continued to cross. She still wears glasses, and with her glasses, her eyes are straight. When she takes off her glasses, they still cross a little bit, which Zoe’s PO tells me is expected.
We haven’t done vision therapy, so I can’t comment on that, Zoe is still a little young to reliably do the exercises on her own. I think a few other readers have their kids in vision therapy, though.
Good luck again, and keep us updated. I hope the new prescription is all that’s needed for your daughter.
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Im just so happy to have found you all!! I just found out today my daughter Addison (18 mo.) needs glasses due to accommodative esotropia. Its comforting to know that my heartache im having right now is normal. I feel as if I am mourning the loss of a face I have looked at for almost two years, because its changing. I wanted to ask if anyone else’s childs vision was almost an overnight change… Addison went to bed and the next morning her eye was crossing. Now three days later it just keeps getting worse and worse. I feel like how could this happen within 24 hours!? Hoping someone else can relate and that their experience was similar. Would love to hear. Thanks so much. Now onto the tough part… Getting her to wear her glasses, this should be interesting!
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Hi Amy, welcome! Your comment “I feel as if I am mourning the loss of a face I have looked at for almost two years”, wow, that nearly perfectly expresses how I felt a year and a half ago. It does get better – you’ll find that her face is still there, and still as beautiful as ever, but what you’re feeling is very normal.
Zoe’s onset wasn’t quite as sudden as Addison’s, but I have heard other stories of very quick changes in eyes. If you think about how quickly they’re growing at that age, maybe it’s similar.
Keep us updated and let us know how the new glasses work. I hope your Addison takes to them well!
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Thanks so much for responding Ann. Its very comforting to know that im not the only one going through this. I have felt very alone in this for the past couple of days. I wanted to see if anyone else has noticed that their child seems extra sleepy and frustrated due to their eye condition at the beginning of their diagnosis. Addison has been sleeping more and seems to need more comfort lately, more blanket, paci, baby, mommy. Just thinking maybe its because shes confused as to why she cant see as well as she used to and is frustrated? I dont know!? 🙂 always trying to figure this little girl out. I would know what some of you think. We pick up her glasses tomorrow, so nervous! Thanks so much!
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Amy, I didn’t notice anything before Zoe got her glasses, but 2 weeks after we first got her glasses, we had to send them back for an adjustment to the prescription. She was noticeably tired and rubbed her eyes a lot and took really long naps (which I would have loved if the naps hadn’t been due to her eyesight).
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I can definitely agree that poor eyesight will make a child extremely tired and moody. Our daughter had esotropia from birth, and we have struggled with her vision ever since. I could always tell when her prescription was changing or her eyesight was getting worse as she would be tired and really grumpy when she was little. Even now, when we went to full time patching from six hours a day patching, she was very tired the first few days. I agree with Ann Z in that a toddler grows so fast and in every aspect that it can be a very sudden change in vision. It is just like when a child gets leg pain that is simply caused by the body growing so fast that the muscle, etc. can keep up. It can be tough to keep the glasses on in the beginning, but if you are persistent and loving about it, your little Addison will soon realize that she can see better with them and that she does not get tired as easily as she did before. All the best to you! You are NOT alone in what you are going through or feeling!
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Connie, thank you so much. Such a comforting message to get before I go to bed. All of this has just worried me so much that its nice to know that what she is doing is fairly normal for a baby that is having a difficult time seeing. I started to get scared that it might be something more serious since she is wanting to sleep so much. It brings me much peace to hear your experience. I havent slept in 5 days since her eye started crossing, but since finding this site, its helping me relax and know that shes okay and shes just going to need glasses for some time!! How old is your daughter now? Thanks again 🙂
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You are welcome! I know it is so difficult to wrap your head around what is going on with your daughter and how you can help her cope! I have a four-year-old that has a hearing loss and our daughter with esotropia is now three, and I am here to tell you that children know so much better to cope with these things than their parents. 🙂 They adapt and get used to a new way of living while we struggle so much with accepting that this is the way life is! I can’t say that I have learned to master the skill of counting my blessings, but when I feel down, I pay the children’s hospital a visit and immediately I am reminded how good I have it! Our children immediately pick up when we are stressed and worried about something that is going on with them and it immediately transfers over to them. So, I try my best to stay calm and relaxed and help them make it through the adjustment the best way possible. All the best to you again! Let us know how it all goes with Addison! Take care of yourself!
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sorry. I meant “corrie” 🙂
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Hi Amy. I felt a need to respond to you because I have a very similar experience with my daughter.
She too has accomodative esotropia and her eyes started crossing literally overnight. We were just sitting at the diner table and my husband said “have you noticed that her eye is crossing” and that’s when it all started. She had just turned 3. At first we only noticed it sometimes but as the days went on it was more constant. It was 2 months before we got her in glasses (d.mn HMOs)=)
Now it’s been almost a year and she just had an appointment and her eyes got a little worse. She also wears a bifocal to help with the additional support for close up work.
I’m also fairly new to this site and have had a hard time dealing with this. I totally can relate with you when you say you’re mourning the lose of a face. It’s hard to look back at pictures and see those beautiful eyes, so full of life. But it just becomes who they are and you grow to adore the glasses and how darn cute they are in them. I forget about them most of the time because it’s just who she is now. And I know you’ll feel the same way. The eyes are still there.
This site has been so helpful for me, to cope, and relate to other parents. It’s nice to know that you are not alone. Thanks Ann for this…..
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Think I might have posted this in the wrond spot last time!
My son is 4 1/2 and we have just found out that he has a prescription of +7.50 in both eyes – his eyes have never turned in that I have noticed and aside from not being very good at ball sports he has no other symptoms – I can’t believe that I haven’t noticed something sooner when his prescription is so high. There is no family history of farsightedness. I got this prescription about a week ago from my optometrist (who is fabulous) and now have a 3 month wait to get into the opthamologist. Since we saw the optometrist I have noticed that he’s constantly running into things and is really tired (which I’ve been told is quite normal with this degree of longsightedness), however I don’t believe he had these symptoms before…could his eyes be getting worse??? The wait to see the opthamologist is awful, I just want some answers now!!! So glad to find this website as it is hard to find answers, and hard to find other kids with such a high script, so it is a bit of relief that there are other kids out there that are +8 and doing well with glasses, thank-you!! Also dawn, I’m also in Australia, would you be able to pass on the name of your optometrist that’s making the thin glasses?? Thanks
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H Renee,
I meant to send a response yesterday to you, but I couldn’t find your post anymore. 🙂 I know it is hard to comprehend that your child has a vision loss, especially that severe and never noticing anything wrong! However, kids adapt EXTREMELY well and it can go undetected so easily, which is why more and more pediatricians are recommending having the eye sight checked much sooner than when going to kindergarten. Have you gotten glasses for him yet or are you waiting on the PO’s appointment? Your son may have just gone through a growth spurt and causing his eyesight to get worse in a small amount of time. We have a friend, who was 12 when she was first diagnosed with a 7.5 prescription in her left eye and severe amblyopia. No one ever knew she couldn’t see on the left eye because she just accomodated and didn’t even notice herself that she couldn’t see well. I wish you the best! I know the wait is grueling, but it will soon be over!
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Hi Renee – I meant to reply to you earlier, but I think I never hit submit (sorry). I wonder if your son is just getting used to his glasses and that’s what’s leading to his running in to things. When a kid is farsighted (longsighted), they can adjust and accommodate quite well to the prescription, but it causes straining. It sounds like your son really adjusted to his strong farsightedness since he was doing so well with sports and such. So it might take him a bit to get adjusted to the glasses and not having to strain so hard to focus.
Where in Australia are you? There are a few regular readers in Australia, so hopefully you can get a good recommendation.
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Hi, thanks so much for responding, we are still waiting for the PO’s appointment before we get glasses as my optometrist wanted us to get a second opinion. Maybe he has had a growth spurt or something and that is the reason for his clumsiness and tiredness all of a sudden. I will just have to wait for november when we see the PO!! We are in Sydney, just near Manly. Thanks again.
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Hi Ladies. I am new to this site. We just found out today my 4yr old daughter Madysen has to get glasses. She has accomadative astrphia with farsightness. Her scrpt is hight.. a 6.5 in one eye and a 7.5 in the other. I am worried sick over this. I am so afraid she will hate the glasses, she is saying she wants her face pain. She is breaking my heart.. plus someone told me the glasses would be really thick and destort her eyes. Please help with any advice
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sorry I ment to say she wants her face plain.. I really am enjoying reading all of the comments on here. I hope one of you has a similar situation with a high prescription. How do they do with such a strong pair of glasses?
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Hi Tami, nice to hear of someone in a similar situation to us! My son Toby is also 4 and we have just found out he needs glasses. We got in to see the paediatric opthamologist yesterday after I rang and said I was really worried about him (our previous appointment was the 10th November!). Anyhow, he has given him a prescription of +8.0 in his right eye and +8.50 in his left eye, but he only wants his prescription in his glasses to be +5.0 and +5.50. So he has farsightedness and amblyopia. We have since gone back to our optometrist to choose his glasses and are now waiting for them to be made. So not sure how thick the lenses will be when we get them but the optometrist said he will grind them down as much as possible or they will fall off his face!! We chose the titanium flex ones as he said they are the best for a kid this age as they literally spring back into shape. He scrunched them up in his hand and they just bounced back into shape!
Not sure what to say about her not wanting to wear glasses – Toby is really excited because another kid in his class has glasses and also he realises that he will be able to see much better with them – his younger brother is jealous – he wants a pair too! The opthamologist said he will be a completely different child with glasses as he doesn’t realise at the moment how much he can’t see properly and will probably love books, puzzles etc even more. Anyhow, sorry about me rambling on, I will let you know how we go when we get them.
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Hi Renee. I am so glad I found this site. I think it help to talk to other moms going through this too. We took Madysen to 2 docs. the first one said her eys were a 10.5 and 9.0 but her was putting her in a 6.50 and a 6.0 for the glasses. So yesterday we took her to this other doc… she said her eyes were a 7.5 and a 6.o and she was giving her the while script??? I am so annoyed that they both saw something different and now I am not sure who I should listen to?? I plan on taking her tomorrow to get the glasses filled but now I am questioning which presciption to use.. I like the docotr yesterday much better then the man we saw last week.
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Tami – from what I’ve read I believe that doctors often have differing opinions on prescriptions. I know there has been a lot of good discussion on that topic on this site. I also recommend calling the doctor that you prefered and discuss the two prescriptions with them. If they are a good doctor they will take the time and probably give you the answers you are looking for. Her lenses will be a bit thicker for the slim lenses, but they won’t distort her eyes too much. They will appear to be a bit larger, but they shouldn’t look abnormal. Just a tip for your first time purchasing – go with an optical store that offers some type of warranty. Trust me you will need it! My daughter has had glasses since 20 months & we go through at least 3 to 4 sets of frames in a year. She is nearing 4 and is much more thoughtful when it comes to her glasses, but she also has a little brother who likes to pick them up and twist them around. The warranty is definitely a must have! Also – Ann has lots of pictures of our kids with their glasses & several recommended books that may help her get used to her glasses. Aubrie’s glasses definitely made a HUGE difference in my little girls life. It opened up a world that she hadn’t been able to see before, and it also prevented her eyes from crossing. Just think – your little girl will finally be able to see your face when you are close up – that just blew my mind when Aubrie was diagnosed! Best of luck! Annie
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Thanks for the advice, we are going tomorrow to pick them out and I decided to go with the first doctors prescrption. He is very wellknown and I think her has a more postive outlook on the situation:) Ill kepp you posted. Ps. I read her Princess peepers for her bedtime story tonight(I changed it to be a little more postitve) but she was very excited about the glasses!!
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Oh that’s wonderful Tami! Keep us posted on the progress! If you can keep her glasses as a positive and exciting new thing it will definitely help! Trust me in a few months this will all be normal stuff to you – I promise 🙂 Annie
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Ok wish us luck we are on our way out the door to pick up Madysen’s glasses and I am not sure why but I am very nervous. I know I have read all of your comments and I think its normal to be afraid she is loosing her “face”. I love her glasses we pick out and without the lenses I loved them on her, but ever since her doctor told me her eyes would be “HUGE” and look distorted I have had these wild imaganations on what she would look like… wish us luck!! On a good note, Madysen is excited to go get them.. so lets hops she wears them:)
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ok so now I am trying to post pictures.. I must be dumb ..I cant figure it out.. help:)
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You can email them to Ann at ann@shinypebble.com & she will post for you. I hope all is going well, and that Mom & Madysen are adjusting to a life with glasses. Trust me in a few months she won’t look like her without them! Aubrie just started and preschool & she gets comments about how adorable her glasses are every day! They will be a great thing for her! Excited to see the pictures! ~Annie
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Thanks Annie. I do like them and Madysen does too. She hasnt tried to take them off at all! I sent Ann the pictures so hopefully you can all see my baby soon. Thanks again.. this site has help me cope so much!!
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Her picture is up – the glasses look great on her. I’m so happy that Madysen is doing well with them.
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She’s absolutely adorable! I’m glad that everything is going well and she’s wearing them without any arguments! That definitely helps! Isn’t this website the best! I wish it was around when I found out about Aubrie’s eyes – would have helped me tremendously! Best of luck 🙂 ~Annie
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Thanks Annie. She is doing great! She doesnt want to take them off ! I think she can finally see! Everyone is making a huge deal of them too and telling her pretty she looks (which helps). I am so releived!
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I am a little upset ..My daughter is three and very farsighted causing one eye to cross completely out of glasses. Her eye doctor told me today that she would probably have this problem forever, since it was due to farsightedness and not a muscle issue. He said there was nothing else to do, but keep her in glasses. My sons are in glasses and I am ok with that, but I am not ok with her having a crossed eye without them for the rest of her life. Getting a second oppinio! Does anyone have any similar stories, that would provide me with hope or advice?
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How frustrating. I would make sure to get a 2nd opinion from a pediatric opthamologist and if needed a 3rd. Does her eyes cross when she has her glasses on? I know my 3 year old’s turns out when she doesn’t have her glasses on or is tired.
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Tarah, I’d be upset by that, too. And I’d definitely go for a second opinion. If her eyes stay straight with glasses, then I think the doctor may be right. As kids get older, they’re better able to control their eye muscles and keep their eyes straight without glasses. Most adults I know that had accommodative esotropia now only have crossed eyes when they’re really tired. Zoe’s eyes do still cross when she isn’t wearing glasses, and she had surgery – but the surgery was only to correct what the glasses couldn’t.
Please keep us updated!
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Tarah – I have that same response from my doctor as well. Aubrie’s eyes are perfectly straight in glasses, but without them her eyes do cross. I was very upset that it’s just going to be this way. I imagined all the situations when Aubrie wouldn’t have her glasses on (in the pool, etc) where she would be with friends and she’d have crossed eyes. I hate it for her – kids can be cruel and I just hope it doesn’t come to that in her life at any point. However, he said that about 50% of kids grow out of it when their older or it improves some. I’m trying to be optimistic about the situation. This year her eyes did improve, they are straight with glasses on, and she doesn’t need surgery. Those are all really great things! At some point he’s positive she can move to contacts so hopefully my fears of other kids taunting her will go away. I also remind myself there aren’t many times in her life she’s without her glasses because if her glasses are off – she can’t see. I hope that makes you feel a little better. It still stinks to know as parents nothing can be done, but just say some prayers that as she grows, her eyes will grow stronger as well 🙂 ~Annie
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I just want to cry right now (again!) We were told yesterday that our little princess (she just turned 3) needs glasses to fix her left eye from turning in when she’s looking at things close up. I have not been doing good with the news for ALL the reasons in the opening of this topic. I felt SO guilty for being upset about this, but it SO SO good to know others feel the same way. Everyone I’ve told so far says the usual “OH, she’ll be SO cute! Its not a big deal” but of course their kids don’t need to wear glasses. I know its the right thing to do, I just don’t want her to be known as “the one with glasses” (again like stated above). I want her to be known for herself and now for what she’s wearing. This site is A.W.E.S.O.M.E!! Thank you SO much for all of this information. I can’t wait to read as much as I can! I’m making sure that my daughter thinks I’m just as excited as she is about getting her new glasses and I’m thinking about doing a “photo shoot” with her when she gets them to make her feel special and beautiful! I can’t wait to read about how to keep other kids from tearing them off her face – oh and how to keep her 1 yr old brother from doing that too! I’m so freaked out about them breaking all the time and her prescription changing all the time and the growth of her head making it a need to constantly be getting new frames and kids making fun of her and so on and so on….so again, thank you for this site. You have started to put my mind at ease! :o)
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Hi Erin, I am glad you found this site! I wish I would have found it a long time ago when we first got glasses for our daughter. She was nine months when she got her first pair! Anyways, our daughter is now three and I can’t imagine life without them. The glasses have become so much a part of her that when she doesn’t have them on, it is like there is something missing on her face. I know it is overwhelming having to imagine glasses on her and how to keep them on her and how to keep them from breaking, etc. I think the most important thing is to make sure that whereever you get them, they come with a very good warranty. We got our glasses at the optical store inside our eye doctor, but they are not very good quality. The first pair we picked up there was broken before we even made it home. (Not trying to scare you here. :-)). In fact, we have replaced that very pair of glasses four times in the past year! Fortunately, they were under an unconditional warranty. Meaning if they broke for any reason, we could bring them in, and they replaced them for free. They also replaced the lenses for free twice, once because the prescription changed and once because they were scratched. Ask all these things before you decide where to get the frames and lenses. I wish we would have gotten her a better quality frame that a toddler can’t break so easily! Yes, I also have a two-year-old and a one-year-old as well as a four-year-old that all try to take off her glasses or better yet want to wear them. So, it is a teaching and learning experience for the whole family! The best thing we did was to teach our daughter that no one is to touch her glasses except for grown-ups. So when a child wants to touch her glasses, she always comes to tell us. So far, they have not broken because of a child other than my daughter. 🙂 Anyways, there are many parents with a lot of experience on here, so feel free to ask any questions you might have or vent your frustrations or get help for your problems. I know your little girl will be beautiful, and you won’t be able to imagine her without them in a few weeks from now!
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Welcome Erin! Our daughters are very close in age – Zoe turned 3 earlier this month.
I just wanted to say that everything you’ve written is so familiar. I really relate to the fear of her being “the one with glasses.” And I won’t lie, Zoe has become “the one with glasses.” At her 3rd birthday party last weekend, a couple of other kids were putting on the Mr. Potato Head glasses and saying they were “being Zoe.” And that sounds kind of bad when I write it, but it was actually pretty sweet. All the kids just accepted that that was part of who she is now. I have no doubt that it will be harder as she gets older and kids get into the age of teasing, but at the moment, it’s not a big deal with the kids at daycare at all. With adults, by far the most comments we get are about her glasses, but they’re almost all positive.
If you don’t mind, I’ll post the question about younger siblings and pulling off the glasses as a separate post. I’ve wondered about that myself (Zoe’s an only child, so it hasn’t really been an issue for us).
Please keep us updated. I love the idea of doing a photo shoot when she gets her glasses! You’ll have to share any pictures if you do that Ann
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Hi Erin. Dont feel alone.. just 2 months ago I was in your shoes. My daughter is 4 and I was crying so hard the day I found out she needed glasses for the same things. I know its hard to believe but in a few weeks you will look back on the tears and laugh a little (although we all have cried) Madysen is doing great. All her friends are obsessed with her glasses.. her preschool friends all go home and tell their moms they want glasses!! She gets stoppped just as often to be told how pretty she is and she can see so much more. We never knew she had a problem and with the glasses she can ride her bike better and just see everything so much better! She feels great in them to .. we just went and got her her 2nd pair! It does get easier!! Oh and she has a 1yr old brother and he has never touched her glasses! I know today it feels like you are losing her as you know her but they day Mady got her glasses it was a bit strange and withing 2 days I felt like she was ment to wear them. Glasses are so common now for little ones and its cool to wear them in school.. your daughter will do great and be a beautiful little princess!!
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Thanks so much! You all are the best and this website is amazing!! I’m still nervous, but I’m starting to get a little excited as well! :o)
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I have a question…do most of you have a back up pair of glasses for your little ones incase they break them? I’m not sure if I should just get two pairs right off the bat? I’m kind of impatient to get this started (since we’ve been told she needs them) and hate this 10 day waiting for them to come in. I’m just thinking ahead and I’d hate for her to break them and then I need to sit and wait another 10 days for them to come in, when technically she should be wearing them ALL the time. Also, there’s a site out there called zenni optical that has really cheap glasses online. If I know her prescription, is there any reason I should hesitate to use sites like this? Our insurance only pays for 1 pair a year, unless her prescription changes within the 1st 6 months. Maybe I’m getting too ahead of myself. Hmm…
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We didn’t get a back up pair for Zoe her first year in glasses, but then I read a comment somewhere about having two pairs of glasses for back-up, but also so that you give your child some choice in the matter. They have to wear the glasses, but with two pair, they can choose which they feel like wearing each day. We have two pair for Zoe now and I LOVE it and would absolutely recommend it if you can afford to do it. Our insurance doesn’t cover glasses at all, but the eye glasses shop was running a buy one get the second half off deal. Her two frames are very different from one another, one is red and round, the other blue and more rectangular (librarian-like). Right now, one pair is in the shop getting new lenses because of scratches, so it’s very nice that she has her other pair to wear while waiting for them to be fixed.
As for Zenni, we ordered prescription sunglasses from there and were pretty pleased with how it went. You need to still have a place that will be willing to adjust the glasses for her, because they probably won’t fit when they arrive, and if they don’t fit, she probably won’t wear them. You’ll also want to get her pupilary distance (PD) from her eye doctor. It’s extremely important to get that number right, especially with strabismus and with bifocals. If it’s wrong, it’ll lead to eye strain and can keep her eyes from staying straight. But her doctor or optician should be able to get that measurement for you. Otherwise, we went to Costco optical and had them do the measurement for Zoe – though she doesn’t have bifocals. I do have a page about ordering online – http://littlefoureyes.com/collected-wisdom/ordering-glasses-for-your-children-online/
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Hi Erin,
Just wanted to say how happy I am that you found this website also. It really saved me the first couple of weeks that I found out my Daughter Addison (20 months) needed glasses. I was the one that had posted that I feel as if im mourning the loss of a face I have looked at for over a year. I still struggle with it some and we still have issues with getting her to wear them. Its been a couple of months and its getting easier to deal with. So, hang in there and everyone on here is so helpful, so post every feeling and problem, I sure did 🙂 Good luck.
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Thanks Amy. Your posting about “the loss of a face” touched me so much. Besides worrying about her site in the future, that statement sums up all of my other fears. If I knew she wouldn’t feel different, I don’t think I’d be so worried. But I remember being in junior high and high school and I remember the things that were said to and about those wearing glasses :o( I need to just work through these feelings I have because she NEEDS the glasses and it is good for the health of her eyes. She will be cute and adorable and we’ll just have to take those problems on one by one when we get to them. This is what I’m telling myself over and over. My husband has been pretty quiet about all of this, but I just found him going through the photo’s of her on the computer from this past year. I think he’s feeling the same way I am, but trying to be the “everything’s cool” one in our relationship in an attempt to not worry me. I’m rambling. Thank you again for your support! I plan on filling you all in once we get her “sexy specs.” LOL :o)
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Hey Erin. I bought Madysen 2 pairs because I was afraid if and when they cant her prescription she would be without a pair while they fixed the prescription. I figured it would be better to have a back up pair. I also agree with giving her choices.. she is so girly that she loves to pick out her own outfits and she decided which pair she wants to wear!! Have you checked out the pics yet on here.. it really was fun to look at when I found this site a few months back. I added Madysen to the pictures too!!
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oh Also I have been told by so many mothers and teachers.. its not like it used to be with kids and glasses.. meaning they dont get made fun of anymore like they did when we were kids.. having glasses is the cool thing to do .. all Madys friends in preschool go home and tell their moms they want glasses just like her.. I also heard that at least 15% of kids will have them in Kindergarten now!!
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I read something that the 4-5% of kids have strabismus/amblyopia is also higher, they believe. So I guess it’s not as uncommon as you would think. I see so many kids in glasses now. I guess times are just different than they used to be and things are being caught sooner now. As our kids get older they won’t be the only one in glasses in their class. My daughter is the only one in her preschool right now. But it won’t always be that way. It really doesn’t matter one way or the other because I think the glasses just make her more unique.
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That sounds right Gretchen. One study said about 5% of preschoolers should be in glasses (so 1 out of 20) – though the number of kids that actually have glasses at that age is lower than that. I think there’s more emphasis now on eye screenings and exams, so more parents are catching eye problems early with their kids. Zoe’s the only one in her daycare with glasses, too, but there’s another little boy in her Sunday School class that wears glasses.
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Thanks again girls. I’m feeling better about getting treatment now, but I’m concerned about her prescription. We were at the Optical place today and the lady that was helping us looked at her prescription and said “Wow, that’s a strong script for a very non-noticeable problem!” and I of course was very concerned when she said this and asked what she meant by that. She said that she sees kids several times a month for the past 5 years and she’s never seen one this high. The numbers mean nothing to me!
Her script is for just a +1 for both R & L eyes, but the bifocals are +2.75 on each eye. This lady said that she usually only sees between a 1 & 2 for bifocals. Do these numbers sound alarming to any of you?!
I’m freaking out right now that they’re going to be way too strong and make her strain & give her headaches :o( I just called and scheduled us with another doc in a different practice for a 2nd opinion. It will make me feel much better if he agrees with the 1st diagnosis & prescription, but if he disagrees…wow. THEN WHAT?! I mean this is my daughters vision we’re talking about!! I REFUSE to let someone mess it up! But I don’t know anything about this!! Sigh…
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I don’t think those numbers sound all that high, Erin, though I’m not speaking from experience, just what I’ve heard other people talk about. Zoe is a +4.5 in both eyes, no bifocals.
If you get the second opinion and they disagree, ask each doctor to talk you through why they are making their recommendation and prescription. Unfortunately, this isn’t an exact science – that’s what our PO told us. They do the best they can with kids, but when they’re so little, it isn’t nearly as precise as when we go in and do our eye tests. What you’re looking for is a doctor that can explain why they’re making the decisions they are, and who seems to really understand your child, and treat them as an individual.
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Why are my sad faces coming out not looking like sad faces??! Must be HTML. 😦 <–did that one work?
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Hi Erin,
Well my daughter’s bifocal is a +3. I’ve been told it’s high too and sometimes I think it is cuz when she looks through them her eyes are sometimes like Whoa, cuz it magnifies everything. I’ve asked her PO about this but he feels it’s right. Hopefully we can start gradually bringing it down and wean her off of them.
There’s nothing wrong with a second opinion. We got one from the optomitrist that does the vision therapy and he thinks it’s a little high, Rx and bifocal, but she seems to be doing okay with it. If there is improvement with the therapy then I’ll be sure to get her eyes dialated to see if we can bring it down. I don’t know how many times someone at those eye glass places try to put their two cents in. Don’t let them scare you by saying how thick they’re going to be or how noticable the bifocal will be. You’ll be surprised how wrong they usually are.
One girl got me crying because she said the bifocal will be very noticable and thick and I get the glasses and the thickness is very well hidden and the bifocal is not nearly as bad as she was saying. You really don’t notice it that much. Get your second opinion to be sure but chances are the PO probably is pretty accurate, but they can make mistakes too.
Good luck, Gretchen
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Hi! I just wanted to say how GREAT this site is. It really helped answer a lot of my questions when I was told my son would have to get glasses. My 2 year old got glasses 2 months ago originally for strabismus (sp?) His left eye turns in. They said if no improvement in a month we would be looking at surgery. It slightly improved but then we were referred to a different doctor and he said that he has accomodative esotropia due to farsightedness and amblyopia. He prescribed eye drops for the next 2 months. Once a week in his strong eye to blur his vision and help strengthen his left eye. Hopefully this works..the idea of surgery on his eye really freaks me out!! We have really struggled with keeping the glasses on him!! We have now started calling them his “special” glasses. He freaks out over shadows so we’ve told him he has to wear his special glasses and they won’t be so scary, this has really helped. He looks so darn cute in them! He just doesn’t look the same with out them anymore!
Rachel
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Thank you Rachel, and welcome! I love the idea of the glasses helping things to not be so scary. I imagine that now that he’s seeing a bit better, shadows really are less scary.
Good luck with the drops. I know from reading others’ experiences that it’s not easy, but it really can work.
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My just-turned-five-year-old just got her first pair of glasses (anisometric amblyopia), and she Does Not Want To Wear Them. At all. She has a lot of social anxiety, and she’s really worried about what the other kids will say (there are only three kids at her whole daycare who wear glasses, none in her class), and she feels that she’s not pretty when she wears glasses. The resources on this website are wonderful, but I’d love any tips for an older kid, especially one who is obsessed with looking pretty and gaining social approval (and if you have any tips for curbing those obsessions, that would be great, too!). I’m thinking a chart with stickers, working up to a larger bribe? Any other ideas? She’s very articulate and loves being read to, so I’m going to ply her with stories about kids wearing glasses…
Thanks!
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Hi Sara,
Do you think she’d go for something like Ficklets (http://ficklets.com/misc.html), they’re charms that you can put on the temples of glasses, and I think they’re really nice looking, and could be a great way to dress up glasses, and feel like they’re a little more like jewelry.
I’m afraid I don’t know a whole lot about the 5 year old set yet, I’m still trying to learn what it means to have a 3 year old :). I know there are a lot of books for older kids with glasses that would probably be great. I also like showing the pictures in the photo gallery to kids who are reluctant, because the kids are all so cute. Again, most of them will be a bit younger than your daughter, but there’s a couple around that age.
I’d love to hear more advice on this, and add more resources for kids that are around your daughter’s age.
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One other thought – we decided to buy Zoe two pair of glasses, partly so that we’d have a back up if one pair broke, but also to let Zoe have a choice of frames, so we bought two very different pairs for her: one is red and round, one is blue and squarish. It’s expensive, but it has worked out really well. Each morning, she gets to choose with pair to wear, and sometimes she matches them to her outfit, and other times just chooses based on her mood. That gives her a little more control in the matter of glasses. Something like that might help with your daughter, too.
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Thanks for your responses! We got the glasses two weeks ago, and I just wanted to report back to build up the databank of information for parents of preschoolers!
We got two pairs of glasses, which was definitely helpful because it made her feel like she had a little bit of power in this situation. However, the first few days were rough. She cried about how ugly she looked, claimed her glasses hurt, etc. She had to be constantly reminded to put her glasses back on, and she”lost” her glasses several times. When I told her she’d have to pay for her lost glasses out of her allowance, she suddenly thought she MIGHT be able to remember where they were, which turned out to be at the bottom of a box in a corner of her room.
A big problem with the situation is that she does not feel that she sees better with the glasses on, so there’s no incentive for her to wear the glasses. I speculate that this is because her brain was so used to getting along just using her good eye (she has one farsighted eye and one totally normal eye), and I think that she wasn’t lying when she said initially that she actually sees better without her glasses, since her brain was frantically trying to make sense of the new input. That’s my completely opthalmologically ignorant opinion.
We set up an incentive chart (the first incentive was a special breakfast with me at a restaurant, without Meddling Baby Sister along, and that was a very big motivator), and after those first days, she’s wearing them now pretty consistently.
The first response she got from a peer was “You look weird! You look like a doctor!” and that was NOT helpful. But otherwise the response from her peers has been generally positive, and the response from adults has been overwhelmingly positive, and that’s helped a great deal. Her dad and I have made a big deal out of how her glasses really draw attention to her pretty eyes, etc., and she loves that.
She often points out adults and children wearing glasses – it seems to be very important to her to establish and re-establish that it’s a normal thing. I checked out some books specifically about glasses – Princess Peepers and Arthur’s Eyes – and she read them with avid interest, but I’ve found that the most effective books are the ones where a child protagonist’s glasses are an incidental feature, not part of the plot, like the color of her hair. We just received “Fanny and Annabelle” as a gift, and Sophie was deeply pleased that the heroine wears glasses.
And as a consolation to other parents, I have to say that while I agree with her that she looks prettier withOUT glasses (something I’ll never tell her), I think she looks more interesting, and more like her funny, drama-queen, imaginative little self with glasses, somehow. I really like the way they look.
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Hi Sara. We have a three-year-old daughter that wears glasses, but has worn them for almost three years now, so she is so used to wearing them, it has never been an issue. However, I also have a just-turned-five-year-old daughter. Although she does not wear glasses, she wears a hearing aid and just two bone-anchored hearing aids implanted in her skull where she now has two “buttons” sticking out of her head. Needless to say, there is no one in her daycare that wears a hearing aid, much less has buttons coming out of her head. 🙂 One of the best ways that we got her used to the idea of having the implant surgery, is by the way we approached the whole subject in making her feel like she is very special and how beautiful she is, how much it will benefit her, and just having a very positive attitude when around her, although in my heart I was hurting for her and did cry many tears. She is now so used to wearing it, she never thinks that she is different from anyone else in her class. I believe glasses are like a piece of jewelry, that only special people get to wear and makes those people beautiful in a very special way. I mean how many kids in your daughter’s class get to wear jewelry every day? I would approach it in that way. At that age, kids are just starting to notice differences between each other, and your daughter might find that there will be other kids that will want to have glasses themselves as there are so many nice glasses out there now. As for tips on bribing her to wear something, for a while, she also had to wear headgear to correct her bite, and the way I got her to wear it is by making her a big chart with a BIG jellybean jar full of empty jelly beans. For every day that she wore her headgear, she got to color in one jelly bean. Once she colored in seven jelly beans, she got to pick out a special treat. This works well for an older child as they can count and pick out the colors and fill in their own jelly beans and they look forward to being able to chose their own price. In time, your daughter will be so used to wearing her glasses, that she won’t notice that she is different from everyone else. I hope that you can get her to wear her glasses, as it will give her the opportunity to see all the things she has never seen clearly and also help her when she gets into school and needs to learn to read and write and do all those things that are so much easier when you can see clearly. Once she becomes consistent about wearing the glasses, she will notice how much easier it is to do certain things than they were before! All the best to you!!!
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Hello! I just found out on Monday that my 16 month old dtr is extremely farsighted (+9) both eyes…I stumbled onto this site…it is absolutely amazing and I cannot tell you how much this information means to me. Although overwhelming at times and increased my anxiety by tenfold, the information is SO SO SO reassuring because this has been a very emotional week for my family. It is so nice to read other people’s stories and thoughts/feelings b/c it seems like everyone I talk to says “oh well she will be so cute! Besides they have so many surgeries these days…she’ll be fine”. This is a HUGE deal and I am terrified that if I dont’ do all the right things my dtrs vision will be even more impaired and I have a lot of guilt for not realizing this earlier. She had signs…looking back now it was apparent, but we had no reason to even think there would be something wrong with her eyesight! She just recently starting crossing her eyes and that is what prompted me to call the Pediatrician and then get the vision exam. We ordered her frames and the glasses will be in next week-I know it will be a struggle, but honestly I just can’t wait to have her wear them and know that she can see the world! Every time I look at her now it breaks my heart that she has a fuzzy view…I wonder what she see’s and what it will be like when she adjusts to the glasses. I also need advice-her prescription was given by an Optometrist and then verified by an Opthomologist-neither are pediatric specialist and we don’t actually have one in this area…is this something I should be pursuing? Our next appt is in Jan and I am starting my mile long list of questions. any thoughts/suggestions of questions I need to ask? thanks for any help. This site is amazing, I am learning so much.
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Hi Emily, and welcome! It really is hard going through this, especially when you don’t know anyone else who has been there (I didn’t). Please don’t feel guilty about not noticing earlier – 16 months is very young to have caught it, and kids that young don’t have any way of telling you they aren’t seeing well, especially when they don’t know how they should be seeing. Also, she probably is seeing relatively clearly (kids who are farsighted can still focus, it just strains their eyes and can cause them to cross their eyes).
Did either of the doctors you saw have child-appropriate cards or eye charts? I’d be concerned if the doctors didn’t seem to know how to work with a young child or didn’t have the equipment for that. It is nice to work with someone who is used to working with children, and who has an office set up for that. You could even add it to the list of questions and ask the doctor if they would recommend you see a pediatric eye specialist. I’d also ask about how often they want to see your daughter, how stable they believe her vision is, whether they are concerned about her developing amblyopia.
Good luck and let us know how things go! Have her glasses arrived yet?
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Hi!
Once again, I must say what a help this site is! Addison has been doing well with her glass for about 3 months. But the past week, she has been very sleepy and her eyes look tired, actually one more than the other. Its kind of hard to explain. Just wondering if maybe her prescription is changing. What were the signs that you all noticed when your child needed a new prescription??
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I noticed Zoe’s eyes beginning to cross again when she needed a new prescription. I’ve also noticed that when Zoe isn’t wearing her glasses (because the glasses are getting fixed or whatever), that she is clearly more tired, so I would trust your instinct and see if you can get an appointment.
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Hi!
My son Xavier is 2 and a half years old and started crossing his eyes about two months ago. So I took him in to see a eye doctor and he said he is definetly cross eyed and far sighted. His perscription is +6.25 in both eyes. He said their was not much that we could do about it except put him in glasses and hope that it corrects its self. But I believe their is more we can do, I just havent figured out what yet. I was devistated, like I was a bad mother for not noticing sooner or by some how this was my fault. So i guess my question to you is:
What steps do I take from here? I will be getting his perscription filled next week. Then what? I want to do what ever possible to ensure that he doesnt have to live with being cross eyed forever.
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Hi Shannon – your response is totally normal – I was so upset about my daughter as well. My Aubrie was the exact same – crossed her eyes at 18 months & got glasses at 20 months. She is a +5.75 in both eyes. It is in no way your fault & pat yourself on the back b/c you found it early! Lots of parents think this is normal & they don’t catch it until their kids are 5.
As a positive note – our Dr. said 50% of kids grow out being farsighted or at least improve in their vision- this is great news! Your son may never be out of glasses or contacts, but he’s likely to at least improve instead of get worse. As far as things to do next – it depends on the Dr. – we were lucky & didn’t require surgery & no patching for us b/c she can see 3d. Now she still crosses her eyes without her glasses & I hate that, but with her glasses – her eyes are perfectly straight & honestly she ALWAYS has on her glasses except for baths & sleeping (they even make swim goggles). As long as her eyes are perfectly straight with her glasses – her doctor is thrilled – that is all we do. My advice would be get a 2nd opinion. You will be more at peace if you know the drs. agree – no surgery is needed, and that glasses work for your son. I know there are vision therapy options out there, but I don’t know much about those – I am not sure if it’s for kids who need to patch or for all kids with vision problems. I hope that helps & feel free to ask all the questions you want! We all know exactly how you feel right now – everything is uncertain and that is very scary! Once he gets his glasses & wears them regularly you will feel much better about things! I can’t imagine my Aubrie without glasses now – it’s her identity and she’s adorable in them. Better yet – she can truly see & her vocabulary exploded once she got them. Best of luck! ~Annie
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Hi I am so glad to find this website. Just found out today my year old son, Logan,needs glasses 24/7, patch therapy and visual therapy. His Rx is not nearly as bad as some of you– astigmatism in both eyes, right eye is better than the left. Doc said he basically isn’t using his left eye at all! I only noticed him squinting a bit but now I see that he turns his head to just use the right eye.
I know I shouldn’t be, but I am just so upset about it! I have been crying since we found out! I just feel so bad for him and so sad that his beautiful, perfect little face and awesome sky-blue eyes will get lost behind those glasses!
Of course, he’s excited about it, can’t wait to get them, and thinks it will be “cool”, but he has no idea what it means really!
Am I pathetic because I feel this way?? I just feel like he’ll never be the same! Thank you all for your comments!
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I meant to say 5 year old son in the above comment!
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Vicki, welcome. And no, you are not pathetic, and not alone, in being upset by this. I was so surprised at just how much it bothered me when I learned Zoe would need glasses. You are absolutely not the only one to feel this way. Your son won’t be the same, because he’ll be seeing better. But his perfect face and beautiful eyes won’t change. It takes a while for us to get used to it, but you’re doing the best thing for your son in making sure his vision is corrected and treated.
Please keep us updated on how things go. I’d love to add a picture of your son to our photo gallery once he’s in his new glasses.
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Vicki,
You are not alone. I cried also when I found out Madysen need glasses, she is 4 yrs old and I thought I was loosing my beautiful little girl,I felt the same thing that she would be lost behind the glasses. Now 5 months later she is doing great, Not only can she see.. but she looks beautiful and all the sadness I had seems silly now. I promise you will get to there too. Mady also has to patch 2 hours a day. There are some great books out there on patching to make it fun for the kids . Believe me all Logans friends will think he is so cool, in Mady’s class , half the kids want glasses now beacuse she has them. Good luck and believe me it does get easier!!
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Vicki – I can completely relate. My daughter, Emma, got glasses just past her 4th birthday and I felt a lot of the same things you do. And I cried a lot too. But she is doing so well now. She has to patch too, 4 hours a day. All of her friends and classmates were wonderful – in fact, quite a few said they wished they had glasses too! I know it seems very overwhelming right now, but it really does get easier. Best of luck and keep us posted!
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I have just spent 4 hours looking for this site – THANK YOU!!! My son, Connor, started looking cross-eyed right after he was born but only while drinking his bottle. I thought he grew out of it but over the past 2 years he would only do it every now and again, like if he would put his face too close to mine, and it was only his left eye. I didn’t think much of it but because it was so seldom but this past Christmas his eye got much worse. After getting pictures back his eyes looked crossed in all the pictures. After goggling it I figured he would just need a patch for his right (stronger) eye . I made an appointment with our ped. opto and due to my husband’s unexpected cancer I canceled my first appointment because Connor had been doing so much better. I almost didn’t take him today because I had not noticed it in a long time but I am glad I did take him.
When the dr. told me he was farsighted w/ a slight stigmatism in his left eye and needed glasses I almost fell out of my chair. I have 20/20 vision; I am SO scared and out of my comfort zone. I wasn’t prepared for that and now I have a RX w/ +4 for his left eye and +3 in his right and the others were both under a 1 for the C/A. I wish I had been prepared because I started to cry… I am so glad he is too young to notice why I was upset.
I only had time to ask him a quick few questions as I was pushed out of the door. He told me he was only slightly higher than normal. I asked how I was supposed to keep glasses on MY son. He is a rough and is just hitting the terrible 2’s so I am freaking out. I will have to get the glasses that wrap around his head to keep them on or he is going to throw them I just know it. He hates sunglasses. The doctor said if he doesn’t keep them on after 2 weeks then to call him and he will get him eye drops that will temp blind him w/ out the glasses…will that even work and it just seems harsh? The last question I asked was will he need glasses for the rest of his life? He said there is a chance he could grow out of this because he is so young but there is no way to tell or not. I asked if they had something that told me his scores and the nurse told me it would say on the RX. OK…nothing about that helped me and I have been very upset. Does anyone know if he will more than likely were glasses for the rest of his life? He said all the nerves looked great so why wouldn’t this be a training issue that I would need a patch for? I am really overwhelmed and if anyone has any advice please let me know. I just want to help my son if there is a way to help his progress if there is any ways and if not then I just want to be prepared now so I don’t get my hopes up. Thanks again and I hope I can find more answers on this site.
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Hi Shalinda, I’m glad you found us! I remember being completely overwhelmed when we got the news about Zoe, too. It’s totally normal to be worried and upset, and the fact that you caught it early and you’re getting him glasses is awesome!
Keeping glasses on kids is hard, but a lot of kids won’t wear sunglasses, but will wear prescription glasses because their glasses help them see better. It’s often a matter of getting them to realize how much better they see. I’m guessing since your little guy is so active, you’ll want to keep him occupied and distracted when you first start him on glasses, he’ll probably be more likely to pull them off when he’s bored. No matter what, expect it to take him a while to get used to.
The eye drops that the doctor is talking about are the dilating drops that they use in appointments, it makes it so that he can’t use his eye muscles to focus, so he’d have to rely on the glasses. We’ve never used them, and I haven’t heard too many stories of others who have done that, but I know that’s a practice I’ve heard of. Maybe someone else can comment.
As for growing out of the glasses, what I’ve read is that children with a +3 or less are more likely to outgrow glasses than children with a higher farsighted prescription. Zoe has +4.5 and +4.75, and her doctor said it was possible she’d out grow them, but it wouldn’t be until 12 or so. I do know that children are wearing contacts at younger and younger ages, so while your son may need vision correction, but there are alternatives to glasses as he gets older.
Good luck to you and your family! Please keep us updated on how Connor is doing!
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Hi Shalinda, I am glad that you found this site! There is so much information on here that is so helpful when you first start out with glasses on your toddler! You have a lot on your plate with your husband and your son, and I can totally understand how overwhelmed you feel about the diagnosis! Our daughter has also been cross-eyed since birth, but her crossing was very severe, which is why she has been patching since she is two-months old, had surgery at nine months old, got glasses shortly after that and is still patching and wearing glasses now! I would say that there is a good chance that your son will grow out of having to wear glasses, especially since his prescription is so low. As he grows and his eyes further develop, he will get better muscle control over his eyes. Patching is only something that is done when the brain shuts out one eye completely, causing that eye to become very weak (lazy) and losing vision (acuity). At this point, if your P.O. does not believe patching is necessary, BE THANKFUL!!! After all we have been through, I can tell you that getting used to glasses is much easier than getting used to a patch! I agree with Ann Z., kids, even very young children will get used to and accept glasses much more easily because it helps them to see better. You may also find that having the glasses will help Connor calm down some. Sometimes, very active children are that way because they can’t see well. The main thing about the glasses is just to be persistent. If he takes them off, put them back on until he will keep them on. I know that’s hard to do, but I would definitely recommend that over having to do the eye drops. Having had my own eyes dilated and doing eye drops for our daughter on a short term basis as a patching alternative, I do know that it works because you cannot see without the glasses. However, our daughter’s personality changed completely with the eye drops, which is why we only did it for one week. I know it is overwhelming and the very beginning is rough, but once you make it through the first couple of weeks, it will just be a normal routine! It is great that you caught it early because as of right now it seems that he does not have a lazy eye yet and he does not have to do patching! Hang in there! It does get better every day! All the best to you, Connor, and your husband!
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Thank you both SO much for all the great info. We got him fitted for his glasses this weekend and he looked adorable! I had the explain his RX and his glasses are 20% magnified in the Left eye and 15% in his right. Slight stigmatistim in the right and more in his left. I won’t find out about his patch work until he goes back in May because if the crossing doesn’t stop then I will have to start patch work. Thanks again and I will have to get a picture to share when we pick them up Saturday.
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Hi all! I was very thankful to find this site. I have a 15 month old son, Ethan, and we just had our first visit with a pediatric opthamologist. I feel very disappointed, frustrated and scared after this appointment. We took our son to the opthamalogist because his left eye turns in. I was not terribly worried because I had amblyopia as a child and anticipated that at the most we would be patching our son’s eye. The eye doctor told us that Ethan’s right eye has 20/20 vision, but his left eye is extremely nearsighted and that he had something called “myelinated retinal nerve fibers.” The eye doctor told us we would need to patch his right eye and that he would need to wear glasses with a Rx of -8.5 in the left lens. He told us we could “read up” on these myelinated retinal nerve fibers as it is a rare condition. He also said that with patching and glasses (6-8 hours a day) that a reasonable vision expectation for Ethan would possibly be 20/50. I feel lost. All I can find on “myelinated retinal nerve fibers” are medical journals full of jargon that I do not understand!!! I’m still unclear as to what Ethan’s actual diagnosis is or how long we will need to patch and wear glasses. All I know is that I am to return in 2 months to check his vision again. We are seeking a second opinion. But has anyone been told their child has “myelinated retinal nerve fibers?” Any help would be soo appreciated! I feel defeated.
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I just found out that my 2 (almost 3) year old needs glasses. We ordered them 2 weeks ago and received them on Tuesday. She is doing a great job keeping them on. I guess it’s nice to be able to see for once.
I’m having a harder time with it than she is. I know that every parent is partial to their kids. She’s just a wonderful little girl. I know that toddlers in glasses are super cute. I want her to be noticed for who she is not the fact that she’s in glasses at such a young age. She’s got such a wonderful personality, I’m afraid that will be over-looked because of the glasses. I don’t even know if this is the right place to come to comment on this. I think that I just need someone who’s been there, to tell me that she won’t be over-looked because of this. I wear glasses, but my prescription is opposite of hers. I was also disappointed because of the glasses we had to get. I feel like she looks kind of dorky, and that scares me. I don’t want anyone to make fun of her. She’s just awesome, and I hate this. I am also worried that my other daughter will need them (she’s not showing any signs of needing them, she’s 5 months). It’s just more upsetting than I thought it would be. I don’t want her to be noticed because of her glasses, I want her to be noticed because she’s sweet, caring and funny…for her.
Sorry for the sob story…I figured this was the best place to come. Thanks…
Tara
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Tara – hang in there. My 3 year old has been in glasses for almost 1 1/2 years (can’t believe it’s been that long) and people don’t even seem to notice she has glasses, although I think she definately looks older because she is tall and has glasses. My 3 month old is showing signs of needed glasses too and I was more upset than I expected to be. I can’t imaging going through all those feelings at one time… we’ve had a little time to get used to the idea of babies and toddlers in glasses. Come sob here anytime… we are here for you!
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Hi Tara,
Don’t feel bad for being upset. It is upsetting. We just found out this week that our 15 month old son will be patched and wearing glasses. I can totally relate to what you are feeling. The glasses haven’t come in yet, but we have been patching him and he doesn’t really seem to mind the patch. I can only hope that he will take to the glasses as well as the patch. My prescription was also the opposite of Ethan’s. Ethan is VERY nearsighted and I was farsighted. I am definitely taking it harder than my child. I think that’s probably the case with most of the parents on this site. You are not alone!
Anyone who makes fun of a child in glasses is simply ignorant and insecure.
Also, I wore bifocals for a lazy eye from the time I was 6 until I was 14. It really was not that bad. Yes, some people picked on me because of my glasses. Other kids thought I was smarter because I wore glasses. Kids will pick on other kids. And if I hadn’t worn glasses it would have been something else. Not only that, but if I wasn’t put in glasses at such a young age then I would have eventually been blind in my right eye. So, the glasses were worth the teasing. Just know that you are doing the best thing for your daughter now and for the future. She will be glad that she had glasses at this young age because you are saving and improving her vision for the future.
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Thanks. It’s nice to have found a place that is so supportive.
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You definitely aren’t alone Tara! We all feel this way. I bawled one day looking at pictures of kids in glasses. Not because those kids weren’t cute, but because I was afraid that my daughter’s beautiful eyes would be covered up, that one day she’d be teased, that she may look nerdy, that I didn’t know she couldn’t see… It was just a lot to take in! However, she’s had them now for going on 3 years this summer & she’s adorable in them. She doesn’t look nerdy, and they enhance her personality so much! I can’t imagine her any other way now. As for your other daughter, my Opthamologist told me I MUST get all my kids and all my nieces/nephews tested around 1 year of age. It’s extremely genetic (even though none of my family even wears glasses). So I had my son tested at 1 and he has perfect vision. I was very relieved! My niece is 6 months old and my sister will get her tested when she’s 1. I highly recommend it & then you won’t have to worry about it – you’ll just know 🙂
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We just found out today that our 21 month old son is very far-sighted (+6.75) and will need to wear glasses. My husband is out of town and my little guy has been sleeping since we returned home from the doctor so I have been on the Internet all afternoon. I am devasted. I keep trying to tell myself that we are so blessed to have a healthy, vibrant little boy but I just can’t shake the idea that it will be my son that is referred to as “the boy with glasses”. As all parents I am sure feel, I don’t want a pair of glasses to “define” him in a positive or negative light. Plus, he has huge, brown eyes with mile long lashes that I don’t want to cover up. I am so glad to find this site and I apologize for rambling on but the news is still so fresh.
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I just found out today that my son, age 3 is severely far sighted and needs glass ASAP. I’ve been crying all day and feeling very selfish for being upset about this…and I truly did feel comforted when I read that you said, “the boy with the glasses” comment would hurt…and would be sure to come. But tonight, after going and trying on new glasses for an hour or so, and of course drowning in my own sorrow all day I realized – this is him now. I need to let go of this vision of who I think/thought he was and realize he is the boy who needs glasses and that is okay. That is how God made him, and he is perfect.
It is nice to know that my self conscious feelings, on his behalf, are shared by parents in the same boat. Thanks again.
Jenna
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Welcome Jenna! You have a wonderful outlook on this, I wish I’d come to that same realization earlier. It is so normal to be upset when you find out your child will need glasses. But you’re right, your son is perfect as he is. He probably will be “the boy with glasses” – I know Zoe is “the girl with glasses.” It used to really upset me, until I realized that she would probably otherwise be “the girl whose hair is always messy.” 🙂
Keep us updated on how everything goes, and send us a picture of him in his glasses, if you’d like!
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Hi there. I think I can speak for many when I say most parents feel the same way when first presented with the news their child needs glasses. I certainly did. I know exactly what you mean. My little girl was prescribed glasses for short sight (-4.5) when she was one. I had all the same feelings. I cried for days! However a year and a half on and things are much better. You will find once you see him with his glasses on for a while, he wont look right without them! Really and truly there are such lovely frames now and with such gorgeous eyes they will not cover them up only enhance them and draw more attention to them! I have to say I have only ever had positive comments about Paris’s glasses – she has the biggest bluest eyes and mile long lashes too but the glasses dont detract from that. Although it is hard to accept at first, I guess you have to be grateful that you are on to it early and he will be able to see so much better which is the main thing. He can always wear contacts when he is a little older – as young as seven or eight. Also far sight tends to get better with age so you never know. Try to stay calm it will all work out believe me. What you are feeling is so normal and common. My advice to you re the glasses is to go for a very subtle slim frame in a neutral colour and have the lenses shaved to be as thin as possible for the best cosmetic result. They can do amazing things now even for very high scripts. The best of luck and keep us posted. Perhaps you could post a pic of your little boy with his glasses when he gets them.
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Hi Ingrid,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It really does make my heart feel a little lighter to hear your words. We went this morning for a bit to do some glasses shopping and it was definitely a relief to see the selection and the amount that they can do. I have been looking at him all day today and I still just cannot get used to the thought of seeing him with glasses but like you said, I am sure that before we know it, we will be used to them as will he. Thank you again SO MUCH for your kinds words. I am so greatful to have found this website and so early when I am having all of these emotions about the whole thing. Thank you to everyone for their honesty and stories. It is amazing how conforting it is to hear that others are going through the same thing.
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P.S. I will definitely post a pic once we get his glasses!
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Some good pieces of advice our PO shared with us when we found out our son needed glasses and we set out on this path:
Children don’t see the glasses, just the child.
Life’s experiences will be no less wonderful, maybe a bit more challenging, but wonderful all the same.
Both true. Hang in there!
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My son is 10 month old. He did not reach out and play with toys. We have been doing a lot of therapy too. Finally we took him to the ophthomologist. His prescription is -5.25. It has been a week since he started wearing glasses. He is observing but not yet reaching out to play with toys. Did you have any experience like this?
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No worries Brooke. I know how good it is to be able to speak with someone in the same boat and yes this website is a great comfort. Honestly you will look back on this in a few months and it will all seem so much better! Somehow the glasses become a part of their personality and everyone just gets so used to seeing them in them they forget they are on! Do you have an email address I can contact you at? If you need any advice just drop me a line 🙂
My email is daveandingrid@netspace.net.au.
The very best of luck with everything 🙂
Ingrid
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Hello,
I just wanted to say how invaluable this site, and this introductory post, have been for me, and how grateful I am. My 20-month-old daughter was just diagnosed with farsightedness and accommodative esotropia. Her eyes rarely cross, and we didn’t even notice it until three weeks ago when she had a terrible cold and had lost a pound. On a Friday at the end of that tough week, her eyes started crossing severely for a few minutes at time. There was an incident that day where we thought she hit her head, and so her dr sent us to the ER for a CT scan. It came back looking normal, thank heavens. In the days that followed, we noticed very brief crossing (a few seconds) a handful of times. We haven’t really seen it since. Her sight had always seemed so great–she never misses a thing, knows the letters of the alphabet, loves to read, can even read far-away street signs. So we are surprised. I am reeling. Part of me doesn’t understand it. Part of me can’t get the thought of her crossed eyes out of my mind and knows she really does need glasses.
We’d already been through something–she had an NG tube for a feeding aversion when she was a newborn. It’s a feeding tube that goes into the tummy through the nose and the excess tubing is taped to the face. It was hugely traumatic for us a as a family, but we overcame it. My first reaction to the news of the new diagnosis and glasses was, ‘Oh no, my baby’s face will be obscured again, and more daily struggle and dreaded battles–this time instead of feeding, it’s about wearing glasses.’
I’m so worried and confused, and I even keep thinking it’s my fault. Just like when Stella had her eating problems. It’s brutal. So many of the same questions mentioned above are in my head: Will the glasses work? Will this condition hold her back somehow? Will the glasses distract from Stella’s beautiful face? (Can’t decide whether to go for fun color in a celebratory way, or subtle so as not to overwhelm.) Ah, I could go on and on.
So nice to know I’m not alone. Since her diagnosis at Seattle Children’s Hospital’s ophthalmology clinic, I’ve spent a lot of time on this site and I know that will only continue in the days and weeks ahead. We’re getting a second opinion on Tuesday from a developmental optometrist, I’ve already ordered a lot of glasses-centric storybooks, and I expect to order her glasses Wednesday! Still dreading the part where I have to convince her to wear them, but this site has made me feel better.
Thanks again for the wonderful source of comfort and community!
Amber
http://lifeandtimesofstella.com
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Welcome! I’m glad you found us, Amber. It sounds like your daughter has already been through so much, and it sounds like you’re incredibly strong. I think that while glasses can be difficult, especially in the beginning, and they’re almost always for the long-term, once you’re past the difficulty (and shock at the expense), they become a part of your child’s personality in a way that other medical aids aren’t.
No matter which way you decide on glasses – subtle or brightly colored – it will take some getting used to those glasses, but your Stella will look gorgeous in them.
Good luck! Keep us updated on how the appointments, and glasses selection goes, and if you’re up for it, submit a picture of Stella in her new glasses!
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Hi, thanks for the welcome, Ann! You’re great and Zoe is adorable. I totally agree that glasses would look super cute, we’d get used to them, and they would become a fun part of her personality! I am totally on board with that and have really embraced the idea. However, we got a second opinion today which was totally different, saying we should take a couple months to see what happens because her eyes cross so rarely and more when she is in a daze and not when she looks at something close. So this second doctor (who examined Stella a bit and also had the charts and notes from Stella’s previous exam) isn’t even sure it’s really accommodative esotropia. I’m really torn between being proactive and trying to head off problems and being more cautious so as not to intervene unless truly necessary at this point. One doctor said the crossing will probably happen more in a few months, the other says Stella’s eyes might be hindered by the glasses, which seem to extreme given the degree of Stella’s crossing and the strength of her vision overall.
Stella’s visual acuity is very good in both eyes. The doctor who told us she needs specs actually said, “Stella has very good vision in both eyes”, which really threw me for a loop, given the diagnosis we’d received. Her prescription is +3/+4, but the 2nd doctor says that the number is higher when the eyes are dilated, so her actual level is more like +2/+3 and not far at all from an average one-year-old. The second doctor couldn’t get Stella’s eyes to cross during exam (it happened a couple times during the aggressive first exam, they called it “intermittent”). But today, she did see one eye very briefly drift in at the end of the appt when Stella was staring into space — as soon as you say her name, she snaps it back into place. It seems a bit different than typical accommodative esotropia where crossing happens when examining things close-up? Or no?
Anyway, I’m thinking of getting an 3rd opinion. Yikes! If anyone has any thoughts, I’d really welcome them. Thank you very much. And if there is a better place for this type of discussion, please let me know and I’ll stop bombarding you here! 🙂
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Ugh, it’s so hard to know what to do in those cases. When we first took Zoe in to the ophthalmologist, she was only crossing her eyes intermittently. The doctor couldn’t get her to cross her eyes, but we brought pictures along. In any case, with dilating her eyes, the doctor said she was farsighted, but not overly so, and recommended that we not get glasses right away. We didn’t, and her eyes even seemed to get better for a few months before they started really crossing a lot. At that point, we brought her back in and got her glasses. I don’t think that the wait in her case made things worse, she did end up needing strabismus surgery, but I don’t think that’s due to waiting on glasses, though there’s no way we will ever know for sure.
Children who are farsighted often have very good vision. They can use their accommodative reflex to focus on things, even up close. The problem is that it strains their eyes, and often causes their eyes to cross, and it’s the crossing that you really want to avoid. It’s one of the things that makes it so hard to catch farsightedness in young children if they’re not crossing their eyes.
One thing you could do is call the first doctor and ask to talk about the differences in the second opinion you received and see if that doctor has any thoughts on reasons for the differences, or can explain his or her philosophy for prescribing glasses. There’s a pretty wide range of philosophies when it comes to prescribing glasses for farsighted young children whose eyes are not crossing. Many eye doctors won’t prescribe glasses unless the child is crossing their eyes, but others believe it’s far better to treat with glasses before the eyes start crossing. I haven’t read any definitive studies recommending one approach over the other. There’s a post about the pediatric ophthalmologist guidelines for prescribing glasses here – http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/11/18/when-are-children-prescribed-glasses/, but again, the article I read about it specifically mentioned that many eye doctors prescribe at lower refractive errors than the guidelines.
Good luck on whatever you decide. I think a third opinion isn’t a bad idea either. I know I’ve seen discussions where other parents have taken their children for third and even fourth opinions.
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My 12 month old daughter is very farsighted and now has a pair of miraflex light pink glasses. She just got them this week. The funny thing is she only keeps them on at daycare and doesnt wear them at home for very long before she pulls them off. I guess she is more distracted at daycare. I am just pleased she is keeping them on at all and know it is an adjustment. I was SO upset about having to cover her adorable little face with glasses and having to deal with the comments but I am doing a bit better now that we have the glasses. Her cuteness is not diminished by the glasses and just adds something unique. I am pregnant and now worried that our second baby will need glasses early as well. The pregnancy doesnt help much with how I am feeling about the situation overall – extra emotional! :)I am trying to separate the superficial feelings from the rational fact that her glasses will help her so much in the long run. Its still hard to not feel upset about it though.
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Hi Jules, as another pregnant mom, I can totally relate to the added worry about the second baby also needing glasses early. At least we’ll be better prepared if it does happen a second time. You’re absolutely right that it’s hard not to be upset, but I actually think it’s ok to be upset, and to acknowledge that it’s not always rational. At least for me, that helped me to move on and focus on the good points – that this is treatable, that there are some amazingly cute glasses out there, etc.
I hope your daughter gets better with her glasses, I bet the distractions at daycare have a lot to do with it. I also know that my daughter will do things at daycare that she won’t do for me, and vice versa.
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Ann, I wanted to thank you for your replies to my comments here. I did confer with both doctors and asked lots of questions, and after my daughter’s eyes started crossing again, there was no question she needed glasses (as you saw on my blog!)… anyway, we got her glasses today and they are cute, but I was surprised at how much bigger they make her eyes look. Her prescription is +3/+4. Do you know if there is variation in how the lenses are made? I just wonder if they could be made any slimmer or with less of an enlarging effect. Perhaps it’s just that Stella’s eyes are pretty big to begin with, and so the effect of the magnification just SEEMS to be increased. Maybe I just need to get used to it. I guess I looked through the gallery here and most of those children (who all look wonderful!) do not have such large eyes in the photos, even though some of them have much stronger prescriptions. Thanks for any thoughts, everyone!
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My son will be 3 months od tomorrow. At birth his left eye was lazy. but now it has self corrected itself. I took him to he opthalmologist anyways to make sure that things were okay. The doctor told me that normal newborns are a +2 and he is +4. She gave me a prescription for glasses. Im wondering if they would self correct themselves or if glasses are really necessary. I feel like he is too young for them. Please… give me some input.
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Hi Samantha M,
My daughter doesn’t yet have glasses though one doctor did prescribe them. We are trying to figure out if she needs them after another doctor recommended we avoid glasses at this point. So, I’m no expert on glasses, but can relate, and based on the information Ann Z provided to me, your doctor *may* be wrong. Might be worth getting a second opinion. Per Ann (see above):
There’s a post about the pediatric ophthalmologist guidelines for prescribing glasses here – http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/11/18/when-are-children-prescribed-glasses/,
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Samantha, is your son still crossing his eyes at all? I am not an eye doctor, but 3 months old seems quite young for glasses for farsightedness if he’s not crossing his eyes. I would also recommend going for a second opinion just to be sure. There are certainly babies that young who wear glasses, so if they’re necessary, then no, he’s not too young for them, but I think I’d have someone else take a second look.
Good luck and keep us updated!
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How comforting to come here and have all my feelings and fears normalized. I was feeling guilty about my internal reaction to the news. Even though it was news I was half expecting I still felt like crying. I think one of my first thoughts was how I look at his face everyday and that it was going to suddenly change overnight. No matter how cute his new glasses will be, he will simply look DIFFERENT. Once I started processing everything I started thinking about how he was going to adjust to everything and the anxieties, and struggles that might ensue; keeping the glasses on, not losing the glasses, hating the glasses, breaking the glasses…etc. My husband has also reacted with a disappointment I wasn’t expecting. This is both comforting and upsetting.
To give you some brief background my son is 4 and I decided to have his eyes checked because I had been observing for some time that he would frequently tilt his head when writing his letters, watching T.V. as well as other tasks. I was hoping it had just become something habitual but now I know it is his vision. He is extremely farsighted which means he has troubles seeing things upclose and from a distance. His vision is about 20/70 I am told. I don’t know his prescription as of yet, I had to dash off after the last appointment so it’s on file I just haven’t seen it yet. But I do know that before his eye drops it was +4 and the optometrist guesstimated that it could be as much as +6 after eye drops. We have mentioned to him that he is going to be getting glasses but he barely responded so I don’t think he’s really processed it. When we were at his appointment he was checking out the kids glasses on the wall and seemed to especially like the ones with the bright yellow frames and expressed that he wanted those ones! At this point it was more about play than anything else. But it made me stop and realize I am going to have to give him a fair bit of control/choice in the purchase of his frames if we are going to have success so I just hope there aren’t any outrageous ones when we go to actually pick something.
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Good luck, Michelle! I feel like I could have written your first paragraph 2 1/2 years ago when we learned Zoe would need glasses. You and your husband are definitely not alone in your feelings.
I think giving your son a lot of choice in the matter is a good idea. One thing you could do is try to pick out a bunch of frames for him to choose from – or even talk with the optician who is helping you and have them bring only frames that you know you could live with, but still bringing some fun, colorful ones that you think he’ll like. That way you can be sure that the frames aren’t any that you couldn’t live with.
Keep us updated!
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Thank you Ann, it really is so comforting to know you aren’t alone and that your feelings aren’t wrong or abnormal.
Thankfully when we went to pick frames there were very tame ones and he liked pretty much everything we tried on. I was really anxious making our decision and I worried long after. Today we picked them up and while I am happy with the frames I am still adjusting to the way the lenses magnify his eyes. Everyone else said it’s not that dramatic.
After getting his glasses I did my best to keep him busy and distracted. We went out for lunch, to the library and then the playground. I think keeping him distracted may have helped him in the transition.
I love this place just so you know 🙂
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Thanks for the update, Michelle, I’m glad he seems to be doing well with the glasses. I think we notice things with our children that other people don’t notice. No one ever tells me that Zoe’s eyes look magnified, though they do tell me she has big eyes and long lashes, which I do think they notice because of the slight magnification, but everyone sees it as a positive.
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I just wanted to say that this website has helped me get threw the fact that my 3 year old needs glasses. I had alot of questions and felt really uncomforable about talking to friends whos kids don’t have glasses about this. After finding this site I feel alot more comfortable about the whole thing. At first I felt like such a bad Mom because I had no clue for 3 years that my son’s eye sight was 20/100 and he was having a hard time seeing. My son is actually very excited about getting his glasses in today. He looks so Handsome in them 🙂
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wow this is wonderful, my daughter was diagnosed yesterday with eye sight of +8. I must be honest i had no idea what the norm is/was but i am learning fast. from yesterday to today she has been diagnosed and her glasses have being chosen and sorted. I was/am in terrible shock but that wont do her any good so we will go on this new journey in a postive way. Thank you so much for your site it is so amazing and it was like reading my own feelings. the guilt is still with me but like i said that wont do my little girl any good. i must say that i live in amsterdam and here the children dont go to pediatricions but go to development centres and when they are three they get a regular eye test. before the test i did say that there were a few signs that i found strange and they said dont worry, when she eventually had the test and failed hopelessy the dr said she is either a very stubborn and spoilt child who refuses to cooperate or otherwise she genuinely cant see!!! needless to say i was heartbroken with that comment. I then insisted that she have a medical examination and she was sent two weeks later to the opto……dr, sorry very new at this so i am still learning the terms and they are in dutch!!! but anyway was told that she had +8 in both eyes. was given a prescription for glasses for +7 and must come back in 3 months time.
i must say i cant see how we are going to keep the glasses on as she does not even like a clip in her hair but i will remain positive and follow all your expert advice. Thank you so much for this. i really dont feel so alone anymore
lots of strengh to all your little ones.
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Welcome Jennifer! I’m so glad you found us. What an awful thing the doctor said, that your daughter was either stubborn and spoilt, or couldn’t see. I’m glad you insisted on an exam for her.
Please keep us updated and let us know how she does with her glasses. Hopefully, she’ll take to them right away.
Best to both of you!
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thank you will definetly keep you posted
thanks for doing such a great job with his site.
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okay people i am more confused today than i was yesterday!!!!!! as i said abigail is +8 in both eyes, What the heck does this actually mean!!! is she farsighted which means that she can only see far or does it mean that she cant see far. i am so sorry for sounding stupid but i am not getting it. the internet is making me more confused and my doctor did not give me all the info i need or maybe i just didnt hear it. does it sound wierd that i think the dr is talking nonsense and i dont think there is anything wrong with her sight!!!!!!! oh man i am making myself mad. this is really having such an impact on me. how on earth did abigail manage the last 3 years and am i feeling normal or am i a basket case? this is so new for me and i am trying to be strong but I need to understand this. i think getting all the terminology in dutch was not helpful even though my dutch is excellent but i think my brain must have switched off after she said her eyes are bad and she needs glasses. sorry for dumping this on your site. can anyone help me?
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Jennifer, I cannot even imagine having to go through this and getting the information in a language that wasn’t my native one, it’s confusing enough as is. +8 is a strong farsighted prescription. That means that she can see things better far away, and has trouble seeing things clearly close up, though most things will be at least a bit blurry at +8. You can check out a simulator here http://www.eyeland-design.com/webtools/53828496ca1045c06/53828496bd08b1006/index.html, but don’t be too freaked out by how blurry everything looks. The thing with farsightedness and children is that children can compensate for a lot of the farsightedness using their accommodative reflex. So your daughter was probably seeing things much less blurry than that simulation will show. Using accommodation reflex, though means eyestrain and can eventually pull a child’s eyes out of alignment. Plus, kids with bad eyesight have never known any different, so they don’t know to complain.
I hope that helps a bit, I can try to explain in more detail anything that doesn’t make sense.
Also, your feelings and confusion sound completely normal to me.
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thank you thank you thank you!!!!! i had a good look at your site and wisdom and found some really good answers. i know that you will be blessed for helping us like this.
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hi jennifer again, but one and a half weeks later and the glasses are on!!!
what a difference. abigail has taken so well to her glasses, the sticker idea is wonderful, even her daycare is using it too!! her teachers at daycare cant believe what a different child she is. her one teacher was diagnosed at the age of 12 with extreme nearsightedness and she was in tears and so emotional when she saw abi as she is so happy that abi is getting help from small and not like her who was left so late without help. they really are wonderful at her school and i feel so great being able to give them advice, which ofcourse i have learnt from all of you hahaha
it is so wierd but i really thought that the dr’s were crazy and she did not need the glasses but boy was i wrong, she is really seeing things for the first time and she is feeling everything (by the way is that normal)? she takes her glasses off now and again but once she is distracted the glasses are not even an issue. she even wanted her glasses on in her bed and fell asleep with her glasses on and her glass case in her hands and the next day she woke up and the first thing she said was where is my glasses!! i am so happy that she is doing well and her older sister emily is being so great. we went to the park today and emily was telling all the children that abi eyes are getting stronger with the glasses. so sweet and so proud of my little ones. one question though, she has two pairs is it better to put one away or let her choose which one she wants on?
okay that is enough for now but once again thanks for the great sight/site!!
god bless
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Thank you for the update Jennifer! It’s so wonderful to hear stories like yours where you can really see just what a difference those glasses make in a child’s life. Both your daughters sound amazing. I expect Abi is feeling things a lot because she is probably seeing different textures more now and curious about how they feel.
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I just wanted to say how happy I am to have found this website to know that I am not alone. Yesterday I took my son who is 17-months old to the PO. My husband is terribly nearsighted but based on how my son has been doing I thought I was going in to simply rule out that he inherited my husband’s vision. I guess that is why it is hitting me so hard to discover that he is -15 in both eyes! 😦 I am feeling really devastated right now. The thought of having a 17-month old in glasses is tough, but what is really killing me is knowing what a prescription of that strength looks like. All I have to do is look at my husband’s glasses to see. They are truly coke-bottle lenses. I think if he had a normal prescription I’d feel ok with this, but at the strength they really distort the face. My husband wears hard contact lenses, so for him right now wearing his glasses is a rare occurrence – only done late at night in the house. But for my son, it will be all the time.
What really scares me is that my husband’s entire childhood was shaped by the fact that he had to wear such strong glasses. He was teased mercilessly until he was able to get contacts at age 16. He had all sorts of nicknames and almost no friends at a young age because of it. I am so afraid that is going to be the fate of my son. I have to admit that looking at pictures from when he was young is difficult because all I can see is his glasses and how distorted his eyes look through them. I feel so guilty for feeling this way and kind of naive and foolish for thinking that my son was somehow not going to have this problem. I also feel guilty in a way, that maybe I shouldn’t have had children knowing that they might inherit this and have such a tough childhood like my husband had. I know I should be happy that we have found this out so early and that soon he will be able to see, but all I can think about are the negatives and how unfair it feels that this is happening. I know people are going to look at him differently and see his glasses and not his beautiful face. I am afraid that I will start looking at him that way too. What kind of a mother does this make me? I would truly trade my eyesight for his if I could. I’m just feeling so helpless…
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Hang in there. You’ll get through it. My son is -8 L and -23 L. We woo feared the ‘coke bottle’. Can’t say they’re horrible…can’t say theyre great…what I can say is that we’ve learned some things along the way to help minimize the appearance. Smaller and round frames lead to a thinner lens. (Well, as thin as can be all things considered.) The lab will cut from the thinner center…thereby producing a lens that has less flare=out on the outer edge. Non-glare coating helps too. We recently moved from a -18 to a -23 in that left eye..and quite honestly..not a huge difference.
Further..you never know..advances these days can have him in contacts much younger…
The guilt can’t be helped, and takes over from time to time, but in the end you do what needs to be done to ensure the best possible outcome.
For what it’s worth…if they dont see the beautiful face..they’re not worth being around. I don’t see the glasses. You won’t too… 🙂
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so yeah..typo-s. That’s -8 R and -23 L
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Thanks GeorgeB,
We ordered the glasses yesterday. They should be in on Monday or Tuesday so I’m anxiously awaiting. He looked really cute in them – of course that was w/o the lenses! The ones we chose aren’t perfectly round, but rounded than most so hopefully it will be the best it can be. We also got the anti-glare coating. Luckily at his age, even if they aren’t great looking he won’t know. It’s when he gets older that I am really worried about.
I have to say, despite really not wanting him to have to wear glasses, I am really excited to see how he reacts to them when he is actually able to see clearly for the first time. I still can’t believe how bad his vision considering he has been functioning so well. If they had told me he needed a prescription, but a mild one, I’d have thought, “yeah, I think I’ve seen indications that he doesn’t seem to everything.” But the dr gave me a lens to show me how he sees and it was shocking. I’d be afraid to move for fear I’d trip and I don’t think I’d be able to identify anyone. I guess kids are just much better at adapting than adults. What a trooper.
Anyway, I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. While I don’t wish vision problems on anyone else’s child, it’s nice to be able to connect w/people that know what it’s like. Wishing your son the best…
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I just discovered that my 10 month old is nearsighted like me. However, his prescription is -5.25 in both eyes with astimatism. for all practical purposed my son was blind and it impacted his development. He sits up but does not crawl, rol over or play with toys. Just wondering, if anyone had similar experiences. How long did it take for your kid to start focusing on faces after they got their glasses and make eye contact. I will appreciate feedback.
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Hi Vikas, I have heard many stories of children not meeting milestones early on because of vision issues. I hope you get some good responses from others who have been there. How long has your son had his glasses?
Best of luck to you and please keep us updated.
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welcome to the club denise, what you are feeling is normal, if you scroll up you can read my first reactions and i certainly did not believe that the dr was right and abi did not need glasses!! well 2 months later and the results speak for themself. dont beat yourself up with quilt it wont do anyone any good. prepare yourself for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and just wait and see how well he will do with his glasses. try to keep as positive as you can, this is a good thing and in time he will realise it too. as for other people ……………who cares. with your love and support he will continue to be the beautifull little person that he is. What i have found is that since abi has glasses all her friends at creche also want glasses. i will be thinking of you and please keep us posted.
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I must say I really appreciate this website. Very good support and good advise. What brings me here, Well just as every parent would do , I hit the Google search engine today after my daughters 6yrs physicals…..where all of a sudden she did not do well at all for the Left eye. The Doctor told us she will be in glasses for a long time and that she is been referred to see an Ophthalmologist. Well at the moment it probably has not hit in yet…am at a stage of looking for helpful information….We are still waiting to see OP…my daughter has started asking if she is blind or going to be blind and is already worried about people calling her four eyes and so many other names I had never heard of…she said she heard them on some TV programs…She sat beside me as i did my research and when I got to this site she said “NO I AM NOT FOUR EYES MOM”! The whole family is ready to support her in any prescription she gets…we will sure get a second opinion just to be sure…any advise and support is welcomed
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
My daughter was hospitalized at 10 days old for Bilirubin treatment…she had to go through the light treatment and exchange transfusion…anyone have the same experience? She also has hearing problems… is it the aftermath of Bilirubin? Thanks
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Just an update for Jennifer and GeorgeB. I got my son’s glasses today. He was actually really good about putting them on – didn’t put up a fuss at all. He then sort of just took everything in. It must have been an amazing experience for him, but since he is so young he couldn’t verbalize it. From the way he was looking at things it definitely looked like he was seeing things he had missed before. As he was walking up the walkway to the house he kept staring at each stone. He probably couldn’t see any of the details before. So that was kind of neat. He also was looking at a book and held it farther away than he normally does. One thing that surprised me was we were outside on the deck and the sun was shining creating shadows and rays of light on the wood. He actually stood frozen as the shadows and light moved then started crying and was afraid to walk. I think he nad no idea what he was looking at and didn’t know if it was ok for him to walk on it. There were a few other times when walking he would examine the ground as if unsure if it was ok. It will definitely be an adjustment as he reinterprets his world. I can’t imagine how different it must be for him. All in all he did great for his first day! The only time he tried to take them off was in the car ride, a time when he usually gets board and sometimes will act up. He started trying to chew on the nose pieces so as a precaution I took them off of him for the rest of the ride. When I put them back on him after the ride, he was fine with them and didn’t do it again. I’m not so naive to think that there won’t be accidents, or that he will always be so agreeable to wearing them, but it was definitely nice though to get through the first day w/o incident. 🙂
As for the glasses themselves, they were pretty much exactly how you described them GeorgeB, not terrible, but not great. Since I had terrible in my mind initially, I think I was a little better prepared. (Had I imagined them being like my glasses, which are -2, I probably would have burst out in tears!) They are slightly coke-bottle like, and they make his eyes look slightly smaller, but they could be a lot worse. I hope this doesn’t sound too ridiculous, but I definitely feel a little sad still – I can’t help prefer the face I am used to, and that is one w/o glasses. That being said, I can’t wait to show him all the things he’s been missing. It’s going to be great.
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Thanks for the update, Denise! I’m so glad the first day went as well as it did. It’s amazing to hear about how he’s really taking things in. Give yourself some time to get used to the glasses, too. After Zoe’s first day in glasses, I kept looking at the pictures of her that I’d taken that day, trying to get used to her new look. It’s a big change for both of you. Please keep us updated!
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Good to hear! We had a similar reaction when N first put his glasses on. Good luck!
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hi denise, day one is over it will only get better. glad to hear that he is taking to the glasses in a positive way. remember it is a big adjustment for them and it will take time. i can honestly say that abi wakes up and the first thing she does is reach for her glasses and i am so used to her with them on. keep postive and enjoy the experience with your little one and keep reassuring him as it can be very overpowering for him. i found with abi that when she was tired she took the glasses off as she was over stimulated with everything she saw. I also found that she is very tired and still needs to rest in the afternoon even though she is 3 years old. i think her little mind is over stimulated with all she sees now. keep postitive and keep us posted
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Hey! It took me a lot of thinking till I decided to post this story, because it kinda seems to be against this site`s spirit. I am not a mother yet, actually I am 16 years old, but I will write about my glasses experience.
I was 3 years old when I was diagnosed with farsightedness and I remember those moments very well because they could have changed my life. My parents took me to an ophthalmologist when they noticed that my eyes crossed a bit. The doctor immediately said I needed glasses, the prescription was pretty strong, +5 or so. After few days I got my glasses and my mom kept asking me whether I see better, but my answer was always the same: “I feel no difference.”. After few days of wearing them, we met a family friend who by chance was a pediatrician. When she saw me wearing glasses she said: “Are you crazy? This child has no sight problem!” And that was the last day I wore glasses. I test my vision once per year, but it seems to be still normal. Don`t even want to think how bad my vision would have been now if I have worn the glasses I was prescribed.
Many people will say that my story is not encouraging at all. I won`t advise anyone to take their kids` glasses off, because I am not in a position to judge and cases may differ. Here I am just expression my opinion. I am not sure about how vision developing and adaptation work, but I`d always go for a 2nd or even 3rd opinion. Also, I don`t understand why to put a child in glasses if as mentioned above, not only that the kid doesn`t stumble over things, but also recognizes faces, is able to play games with balls for far away sight, and puzzle, letter games for near sight. And I don`t mean that a parent should give no importance to the child`s vision, on the contrary, I strongly support periodical eye exams. It just seems to me that eyes don`t get better because of glasses. What might strengthen an eye is patching & glasses, for lazy eye, and strabismus. Glasses are made to improve one`s vision while they are worn, but if the child seems to have the same vision with and without wearing them…
And I think it`s easy to test the difference while playing games, even if the child is not able to say if he/she notices any improvement. If nothing very serious like legal blindness, eye crossing, obvious signs of eyes impairment appear, a parent shouldn`t be very worried, because anyway at 5-6 years old, the child or the teacher will notice if there are struggles for him/her to read from the chalkboard, or books. All in all, prescribed glasses should be tried in order to test the child`s reaction and if they improve the sight.
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Krina, thank you for posting. I do think that with any medical condition there is a chance of misdiagnosis, and I do absolutely recommend that any parent who has any concerns about their child’s diagnosis seek a second or third opinion. And I know some parents who have done that and had the second opinion recommend no glasses, or recommend a lesser prescription. But, that doesn’t seem to be the majority of cases.
I’d also be very wary of relying on games at home to test vision difference, ESPECIALLY with farsighted children. With farsightedness, many children can still focus without their glasses, the problem is that without their glasses it can lead to eye strain and eyes being pulled out of alignment. I know in my daughter’s case, while she didn’t tell me she could see better with her glasses (she has only just started telling me this at almost 4 years old – nearly 3 years after getting glasses), I did notice that she became tired much more quickly without her glasses.
And I’d recommend against waiting for teachers to notice children struggling. I’ve read far too many stories of children misdiagnosed as trouble makers, slow, or with attention problems, when the real issue was that they just couldn’t focus on their reading or the board.
Again, I am not discounting your story, at all, and I would not want a child in glasses unnecessarily, but I do still recommend that parents take their eye doctor’s recommendations seriously. Second and third opinions are wonderful for giving a peace of mind with a diagnosis, but caution everyone to not ignore a prescription for glasses for your child, even if your child seems to see fine on their own.
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I am first so greteful to have found this site!! After reading some of the postings you all have made me feel so much better about our situation. Our daugher Leiah is 22 months old and after going to the PO last year about her tear ducts being blocked, the Dr. mentioned that she was farsighted but suggested that her vision would clear up and due to her age at the time, didn’t seem overly concerned about her script of +4.5 in each eye. We have been waiting to see if the tear duct issue would resolve itself and now knowing that she has to have surgery for that, after a return trip to the PO, have discovered her vision is now at a +7.5 and +7. We have now gotten her glasses, and after several weeks, she is still refusing to wear them. I am very frustrated and don’t like bribing her to wear them. I am also beginning to wonder if she really needs them or if her script is really this bad. That might seem silly but, she seems to function ok with out them, which after reading some of the postings is making A LOT more sense to me. I wish that our PO had told us more about how she functions or the “fight” we would be in. Some members of our family seem to be having a hard time accepting that she may need glasses and I think that they may be influencing my belief that she doesn’t need them either. I have even had people suggest that she get laser surgery to fix her eyes!!
Gosh, maybe I just needed to vent!! I just want to say to everyone on here that you are encouraging me and I just cant be more grateful to have found this sight!!
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Welcome Carrie! I’m glad you found us – and please, vent away! I know that having a place to vent can be a great thing.
Have you been back to the eye doctor since your daughter got glasses? I know that Zoe’s prescription changed a bit when we brought her in for the follow up. I have to say that the jump from +4.5 to +7.5 is pretty big, and I might get a second opinion to see if her prescription really is that high. That said, farsighted prescriptions are notoriously hard for kids to adjust to, and sometimes it really is just a matter of time, patience, distraction, and generally outlasting your kid until they realize they need the glasses.
Some things that worked for us (though Zoe was quite a bit younger) was to let her put our glasses on our face, and then she’d be more willing to let us put her glasses on her face. We also made pipe cleaner glasses for her bear so he could wear glasses, too. At 26 months, we got Zoe 2 pair of glasses so she could choose which ones to wear. Giving her a choice gave her some control in the matter that worked really well at that point. And I really liked amomofelly’s idea of having a “glasses-free” zone. Her daughter didn’t have to wear glasses in her room, so there was a place she could go to rest without the glasses, but she had to wear them the rest of the time. Do you think your daughter might respond to a sticker chart, where she could put a sticker up for every hour she wears her glasses? Or is that still too much of a bribe. I understand the reluctance to use bribery, but I know that others have had a lot of success with it.
Good luck to you and let us know how things go. I’d really recommend getting in to see her eye doctor or another eye doctor just to verify that the prescription is correct.
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hi all here is an update of abigails 2nd appoint. firstly they did not do the drops as that is done only once a year, she did a basic eye test, with the pictures, with her glasses on, and she passed with flying colours. the dr is very impressed on the impovement and how well she has taken to her glasses. the dr said that her eyes need time to adjust as she is so young and they dont want to change her prescription until she has had her glasses for a year as that will give her eyes time to adjust, strenghen and that will give us a better idea of how the long term results will be.
so that is how the dutch dr deal with childrens eyes. but i must say abigail was so much more cooperative and actually enjoyed getting all the answers right. what a boost for her self image!!!! she was really shining. she must however continue to have check ups every 3 months but she is doing so well.
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Thanks for the update, Jennifer. It’s very interesting to read how treatment can vary in different places. I’m so happy that Abigail is doing so well with her glasses!
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Hello All, I am mommy to a little boy who just turned 1 and was just prescribed glasses for the first time. I’m scared and feeling kinda lost. We just picked up the glasses yesterday and for being 1 he wears them better than I thought he would. I am still questioning his need for glasses. He has had eye issues from birth but everyone kept saying nothing was very wrong. It’s gotten better but I think that’s becuase he seems to have learned how to compensate by holding his head differently when he crawls and such. Often times what I notice is that his eyes do not work in unison with one another. One turns in slightly ocassionaly. Anyway, his prescription isn’t very strong compared to what I’m reading, just +3 in each eye. We took him to a specialist and I’m confident that he is giving us a correct diagnosis. I just feel lost and confused and want to make sure we are doing the best thing for our little one.
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Hi everyone, my little girl Kayleigh is nine months old. We noticed around 3 or 4 months that her eyes were jumping(fluttering? moving up and down). Its hard to explain without seeing it for yourself. So I asked her pediatric dr. about it at her 4 month check up. He told us oh its fine she is just trying to focus to hard and she would grow out of it. So then we went for her 6 months check up, he didn’t say anything about her eyes and I didn’t ask. At 7 months she had an ear ache and we went in and the dr. looked at me and said “Do her eyes always move like that?” So at that point I was like….. are you kidding me? From all accounts he didn’t really notice it when I asked about it before. So, he scheduled us to get her eyes checked. But first the opthamologist, wanted an MRI done to make sure there was nothing wrong in her brain. So by this point I’m freaking out of course but we got the MRI done and everything looked fine so then we went and had her eyes checked and found out the movement is called Nystagmus, but most times the eyes move side to side and hers move up and down. Dr. Black said he had never really seen anything like it before. So, he dialated her eyes and checked them, and found she is very nearsighted. We ordered her glasses and we got them today! It was awesome when we put her glasses on she just looked around like WOW! I know this is only the first day but so far she has done great!
Hopefully all that made sense. I’m so happy to have found your website! This is what her prescription is
RE -8.50+3.00 x 110
LE -9.00+3.00 x 60
This is a picture of her http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=465541676459&set=a.465541446459.257021.761496459
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Hi Nancy
Our son also has similar issues. He turned a year old few days ago. His prescription is -5 in both eyes and cylinder is +3.25 X 103 and +3 X 87. He has been wearing glasses now for almost 2 months. The first few days, when he got his glasses, he did not want to nap at all and was very excited. He has been happier than before. His MRI was negative too. But he is having developmental delays with fine and gross motor skills, and his speech is delayed too. For sure he is making improvement but very slowly. I was wondering how has been your experience so far.
Thanks
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The first two days have been great! She has left them alone and kept them on. I think she can truely tell a difference. Vikas so far we have not really noticed any developmental delays with speech or anything else she seems to be doing fine except for her eyes. And she didn’t want to nap yesterday either! Or go to sleep last night, she was soooo excited. And everyone who has seen her with her glasses so far have had nothing but positive remarks. Most of my friends and coworkers knew we had them on order and were ready to see her in them.
Thanks so much I will keep ya’ll posted on her progress!
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Hi Nancy
I hope you and your daughter are doing well. I wanted to check how is she progressing. My son has been wearing glasses for last 8 months now..he got them when he was 10 months old. He barely sees anything and he plays with toys sitting next to him and does not seek them out. He would not look into our faces either. I wanted to see how is your daughter progressing. Is it possible that we can talk over phone.
Thanks
Vikas
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Hi really panicking here my beautiful little girl Zara 21mths got her new glasses yesterday as her right eye is turning in im devastated by all this she was so upset yesterday cried all day long and had to be held on to even get them on her tips please
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Hi, this is a great site of information on glasses and strabismus issues in children. My daughter was diagnosed at 20mos old and have been patching since. She was also prescribed glasses a month ago her prescription are +1.5 ONLY but our doctor says we should give it a shot to see if that will help straighten her eye. So it turns out that the prescription is so low that it does not help her “see” better at all so it’s been a struggle to get her to wear it. I’m just getting frustrated that nothing is helping her yet. She has been a trooper in patching and we just had another baby so there are so much changes in her world. I want to see if there are anyone here with a child in similar prescription and has seen a difference in straightening out the eyes or successful in keep the glasses on?
(sorry if this is not the right place for questions. please let me know where to post this if not).
Thanks much!! Jen
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Hi all have not being that active for a while on this site, but we went for abi’s 3 month check up. she is doing really well with her glasses, but when they did the 3 D test she could not see the animals in 3D, so now they think that she cant see depth. so has anyone any advice. i was told that children learn this in the first two years of there lives and if they dont they have lost it for life. When i asked what does this mean, she just said “oh abi wont be a pilot” what kind of answer is that???????
i have also being in contact with an organisation that assist children with sight problems at school and at home and i have an appointment with them in four weeks time when we come back from holiday. they will asses abi and see what other development stages she has missed or where she needs help.
will keep you posted and please if anyone else has any advice please let me know
god bless jennifer
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So happy to have found this site…we just learned our 4 1/2 year old daughter needs glasses. I am so disappointed for her, and I feel terrible on the inside for feeling that way. My husband has a pretty strong prescription, but I’ve never worn glasses and have never had to deal with it, so I can’t help thinking of it as a burden for her. My husband actually took her to her appointment, and afterward I was almost glad I wasn’t there because I likely would have cried upon hearing the news (and have several times since then). Her prescription is R + 0.5 -0.5 L +0.5 -2.25, and she has astigmatism in this eye. I’m not even sure what it all means (aside from astigmatism), so when we go glasses shopping this week I guess I’ll need to ask some questions (which is sure to bring on the tears). I’m being very positive with her, almost like they will be like fancy jewelry (she loves Fancy Nancy) and she says she would like glasses with rainbows on them. We already had the Princess Peepers book, funny enough…time to find the Fancy Nancy one!
In any case, I see here from people’s posts that all the things I’m now worrying about (she’ll look different, will be unhappy, might get teased, will see through my ‘excited’ facade, vision may continue to deteriorate, etc) are normal and natural. It’s wonderful that people have so honestly shared how they felt and reacted when it happened to their children. Thank you for that…I don’t feel quite as horribly guilty about some of the superficial thoughts that have flitted through my mind. Livia is healthy, vibrant, smart and beautiful, and will obviously still be all of those things in her new specs!! Thanks again!
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Welcome, Julie! I’m glad you found us and have gotten rid of at least some of the guilt. It sounds like you really have a good perspective going in to this. Your last sentence is wonderful.
As for her prescription, she’s very, very mildly farsighted (+0.5) in both eyes, if she didn’t have the astigmatism, she wouldn’t need glasses. But since she has a strong astigmatism in one eye, it’s very good that she’s getting glasses.
I hope she enjoys the Fancy Nancy book. I was happy to see in a more recent FN book that Bree still wears glasses (though only for reading). Zoe often mentions that she thinks Fancy Nancy would like her (Zoe’s) glasses, which makes me smile. There’s so many fun glasses out there, I’m sure your daughter will look amazing.
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Thank you for all of the information. My 2 year old son was just diagnosed with intermittent strabismus due to being far sighted. We had no idea he was far sighted, he never showed any signs of not being able to see. He loves doing puzzles and using rubberstamps as well as playing with duplos and the wooden railroad sets.
My son has an extreme fear of doctors. It has made pediatrician visits difficult so I wasn’t sure what to expect at the eye doctor. He did better than I thought, but not great. I was really suprised that the doctor just looked through lenses and then told us what the prescription was. I thought there would be a lot more to the exam. Then came time to pick out a pair of glasses. They had a very small selection. Jesse was not willing to try on any of them and they were not able to get a measurement either so they were going to wing it. I am a little concerned about that. I have a feeling that isn’t going to work well. We are thinking about taking him to a different doctor but I hate the thought of having to go through the drops and everything again.
It is great to have a resource like this to know we are not alone and other parents have survived.
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Welcome Anna,
I’m sorry your son had such a rough time at the doctor’s. It took Zoe quite a while to get comfortable with her eye doctor. Did they do any dilating drops? It is pretty amazing what they can do with their exams. I would though, expect that you might end up with changing prescriptions and needing glasses adjustments for a while if they’re winging it. For what it’s worth, our doctor told us that at a young age, working out the prescription is as much an art as a science.
It might be worth looking to see if there’s any other optical shops near you that specialize in kids’ glasses. Not that it makes the trying on and adjusting glasses easier, but they often have a lot of fun things for kids to play with while they wait, better selection, and staff that are totally used to taking measurements on screaming children (that was Zoe getting her first pair).
Good luck to you and let us know how things go as Jesse gets his glasses.
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I’m very appreciative for this sight. My 5 year old son, Ben, was just diagnosed with extreme farsightedness. Both eyes are +8. His prescription is +5.50 for right and left. I feel so GUILTY that he did not get his glasses sooner. He never squinted, complained, had headaches (that we know of). He is extremely verbal and active. He writes and is starting to read although I can’t believe he’s accomplished these things with such poor eyesight. He does tend to stand very close to the TV, but my other 2 children do that at times too. He does tilt his head, chin downward. I just learned that is a sign for farsightedness. He did not do well with his vision screen at 3 and again at 4. He wouldn’t even put the cup over his eyes to take the test and would just sit on the floor. He also suffers from asthma and has always had challenges going to the doctor’s office. He tends to get sick often (ear infections, asthma, strep, etc.). I attributed his vision screen behavior and uncooperativeness to a dislike for the doctor’s office. He doesn’t even like to get weighed, measured, or even sit on the exam table. Now I know he really couldn’t see! I feel to blame… he lost YEARS of seeing the world clearly.
A couple of questions. Can anyone help?
1. Could his eyes have become worsen recently as he’s grown or has he always seen this poorly?
2. I imagine the transition to wearing glasses will be challenging as his eyes/brain adjust to not having to work so hard to see. What can I do to ease this transition and relieve eye strain without removing his glasses?
3. Until his lenses arrive (in one week) I am paranoid that he will develop estrophia. I continue to check his eyes… I think I might be making both of us crazy. He also tells me that he never sees anything double. Still, I’m worried that the eye doctor didn’t pick it up… does the doctor have tools to diagnose estrophia or intermitten extrophia? Can I do anything to avoid straining his eyes?
I can’t wait for Ben’s glasses to arrive. He can’t wait either. He has been telling EVERYONE his good news.. teachers, friends, neighbors, strangers. He’s actually decorated his bedroom with streamers. He wants to have a little party with mom, dad, his brother and sister to welcome his new glasses. I’m hoping for a smooth transition. Thanks! Brigid
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I said estrophia… I meant strabismus or estropia… sorry, still a lot to learn.
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Just found out today that our 4 year old daugther needs to have a patch on her left eye due to her right eye crossing at times. She has a very, very mild condition and will wear the patch for 5-10 hours each week. We will re-evaluate things in one month after wearing the patch. Thank you to all for posting your thoughts and comments…reading the posts helped me in so many ways as I faced the news we would be told today by the doctor. For those needing patches, please check out this site.
http://www.patchpals.com
This was recommended by our doctor. Our daughter loved picking out her patch designs!
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Oh…one thing I forgot to mention. The patch pals attach to glasses frames instead of having to use the adhesive type of patch. I am just going to buy a pair of sunglasses and take out the lense of the eye not being patched! Simple and much more comfortable!!!
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Good luck with the patching Cynthia!! I like the idea of using the Patchpals and sunglasses if your child doesn’t need glasses. Just be sure those sunglasses fit her well so she can’t peek around the patch. I’d love an update on how it’s going!
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Pingback: Little Four Eyes Writes about First Glasses by Bright Eyes Tampa·
Thank you to everyone who helps with this website. It has been a huge help. A few months ago we noticed my 2 year old son was having times when one of his eyes would wander or they would be crossed. We talked to the pediatrician and were refered to a eye doctor in our town. The appt did not go really well (My son has an extreme fear\dislike of any doctor) and 3 hours later walked out with a pescription for +5.0 in both eyes. They had one pair of frames that might work for him. We were not 100% sure this was right and made an appointment with Midwest Eye Institute that specialized in pediatrics and strabisimus. We went to that appt yesterday and feel a lot more comfortable. He is extremely far sighted. They checked twice and his prescription is +6.5 in both eyes. My son was still kicking and screaming during the exam but they were extememly nice about it and reasurring that they see kids all day long and it didn’t phase them. We couldn’t belive that his prescription was so high. I feel horrible that we didn’t notice he had vision issues before now.
So after everything we finally got his glases ordered and found an eye doctor that we like. Now we will just have to figure out how to keep the glasses on him…
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I’m so glad you found a doctor you’re comfortable with, that makes such a big difference! I hope he gets more comfortable with the doctors there. Keep us updated on how the glasses go for him!
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Well, not so good. We picked up the glasses on 2/21. It was a very stressful visit for everyone and all we had to do was get the glasses and have them adjust them. Jesse wanted no part of it and I am sure you could hear the screaming 10 miles away. We got home and had the same result. We have been able to get him to get the glasses out and peek through them but he will not put them on no matter what we do. He did have an ear infection so we didn’t push is for a few days, just let him get them out and peek at things. We tried again last night and after 40 minutes of “please no glasses” and crying we only maganged to have them on for 5 – 15 seconds. This is going to be a long battle.
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Oh no! Having that ear infection surely couldn’t have helped anything. Poor guy (poor parents)!
I think you’re right, this may be a long process. I think going slowly, and only putting them on when he’s calm (even knowing that it will probably upset him) may be the way to go.
Are there any activities pr locations that just absolutely entrance him? You might try using those as times to put the glasses on. I know some parents have a lot of luck having their kids wear glasses when they’re out of the house, and more likely to be distracted by interesting things around them.
Once things get a little better, I really liked Amomofelly’s plan to let her daughter’s room be a glasses free zone. If she needed time away from glasses, she could go in her room and not have to wear them. That gave her daughter some control of the situation, and a constrained time/place where she could go without glasses.
I’m wishing you much strength and patience. This starting out time is not easy, I hope it gets better quickly. Let us know how things are going, and what, if anything, works.
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My daughter got her glasses at 2 years of age. She is now 7 1/2. Once we put the glasses on her it only took a day and a half before she would not take them off. Her prescription is +8.0 in both eyes. After the first 2 days the first thing she does in the morning is look for her glasses and the last thing at night is to remove them. When she first got them there were a couple of times where she fell asleep with them on. I hope it turns out to be the same way for you. It doesn’t take long before kids find out that they can see alot better with their glasses and the glasses become a part of them. The only problem we have is trying to get the glasses from her to clean them. I can see that they are really dirty but she doesn’t want to give them up even for a couple of minutes. She says she can see just fine.
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I am so happy that we found this website. You are exactly right, after my sons eye doctor appointment, I hit the internet looking for answers. We found out that our 3 year son needed glasses after his 3 year check up. He is farsighted and has accommodative estotropia – right eye 20/400. We found this out after the first of the year and he has been wearing the miraflex glasses since and we just started patching yesterday – 4-6 hours a day. I felt extremely guilty for not realizing he needed glasses sooner and not realizing that his eye was not tracking properly. Also, guilty of the fact I did not want him to have to wear or worry about glasses. Overall he loves his glasses. He looks for them in the morning and puts them right back on after he gets dressed. He amazes me how well he adjusted – which I guess goes to show that he needed them. We just started patching yesterday and when I took it off he asked why I was taking it off and when he was going to wear it again, which surprised me. His older brother and sister have been supportive, which boosts his confidence and we get a positive comment from someone everywhere we go. He is completely comfortable with the glasses and is adjusting to the patch beautifully. I’m not going to lie, I do wish I could see his beautiful brown eyes without being covered by glasses however I do realize they are needed and important for him. I just wanted to share our story and say thank you to everyone who posts. It is comforting to know that our feelings as parents are not wrong and we should not feel guilty. Of course we wouldn’t be great parents if we didn’t feel that way right?
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Hi,
Here is my story. My son is 31 months old. When he was 20 months old, we noticed that he was getting very close to the TV whenever his big sister watches TV. We got his eyes checked and it was a real shock. The doc said, he is near sighted. -7R -9L. He has progressive myopia and will keep getting worse till he is 18-22 years old. My husband and daughter have perfect eyes. I am myopic but I got glasses when I was 13 and then have been mostly stable (-1R and -3L).
We took him for second opinion and the result was similar. We barely managed this news. Got him glasses and he loved them. Developmentally he is doing great! There is absolutely no other issue (that we know!) besides this high powers..
But then last month we had another eye exam (they are monitoring him every 4-6 months) and this time the power came to -10L and -12R. Yes, we had significant progression. The doc suggested to get soft contact lenses for him. Over last couple weeks my husband and I have learnt to put them in for him every morning and take them out every night. At first it was some struggle but he is very positive as we think he is realizing that this is giving him the best vision.
But I am super terrified with this progression in just last 10 months. We have about 20 more years to go before we can consider LASIK or similar surgery. The thoughts of ratina tears, glucoma etc keeps me up at night. I hear that he has higher chances of those side effects but how high? Are they evitable?
Are there any other options that we should consider now? Would love to hear from people with similar situation. How are they dealing with this? Anything we can do to control/limit the progression?
Thanks,
Zankar.
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hmm.. I have a typo above. He is -10R and -12L with slight astigmatism.
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I’m sorry this is late. I don’t have any comforting news, except to tell you, you are not alone! My son first got glasses at 18 months. We only took him to the eye dr because his father has terrible vision, but we really didn’t think he had a problem. Anyway, last August he was -15 in both eyes w/no astigmatism. In January he was -15 and -15.5 with astigmatism in both eyes. (Not horrible news, but I was hoping he eyes were stable.) The higher the myopia, the greater chance of things like retinal detachments and other issues. Then there is the cosmetic issues you deal with. (Something that sounds superficial but as a person that has to live and function in society – it’s a real thing. All I can say is that it stinks – it truly does. But there are so many other things that could be worse. I turly believe that with all the advances in medical technology by the time my son is my age, there will be a solution that if, it doesn’t solve this problem, will make it significantly easier. Just keep the faith and hang in there. I cried for the first several weeks after my son first got diagnosed with a major vision problem. Now, it’s just another part of who he is and makes me want to route for him even harder. If you need any more encouragement, please do not hesitate to seek it here. There are many people here to help.
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My thoughts are that absent any identifiable issues, there is no way to predict how rapidly the mypois will progress. At this age the eye is growing rapidly and many changes in vision should be expected. However, this does not necessarily mean retinal tears, glaucoma etc are absolutely going to occur. Certainly the risk is higher, much higher than norms but..no way to tell. Careful monitoring and adjustment of prescription will help ensure proper vision and development. Whether lasik or other intervention is appropriate and when woudl be a question for the experts. I would question the timing of when you could consider such an intervention. Certainly contacts are viable near term.
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i agree. Glaucoma and retina tears are not inevitable for a high myope. At this age, his vision is still developing and there’s no telling which way it will go. I know a kid whose script actually improved after a couple of years. His mom told me that spending a lot of time outdoors was the reason. I don’t know if there is a co-relation between outdoor playtime and myopia but i guess its worth a try? Its a good thing his myopia was diagnosed at such a young age. Afterall, any problems caught early makes intervention easier and more effective. Remember, the parent usually worries and suffers much more than the kid 🙂
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My bunny got glasses at 2 and people comment how adorable she is. The first 6 months were kinda hard because she’s eat the nose pads off! And she was only two so she was kinda uncoordinated on the play grown and they’d fall off or get step off or she’s fall and they’d get bent. But she’s 3 1/2 now and they are no problem.
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Thank you so much for this wonderful blog ! Just what I need !!
My 4 year old son recently got diagnosed with Accomodative esotropia and astigmatism. The PO’s verdict was glasses for next 10 years and then maybe when hes a teenager we MAY move away from glasses.I am worried, upset,guilty,kept wondering if I had missed the signs early on and if I had brought him sooner for his eyecheckup it wouldn’t have progressed to this extent. I am worried because he is such an active little boy – and I feel his glasses will curb his freedom 😦
When I read your post ” when you’ve just found out your young child needs glasses
“, it felt like you wrote it just for ME !!
I was half way through your page and came to the part where you write ” I was filled with worry; worry that Zoe would have life-long vision problems, worry that I wouldn’t be able to keep them on her, worry that she would forever be known as the “girl in glasses.” Thats EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ; MY EXACT EMOTIONS and when I read that I had tears rolling down my face.I cried like I never have….
I read somewhere that just 2% of the children’s population get glasses at such young ages and all of a sudden it struck me how much of a minority my son is. Even in school he and another little girl are the only 2 in glasses !! Every such little thing makes me feel sad for my little guy. Sigh !
Having said that – I am so glad I found your blog and a network of parents who understand and feel the same way I do. We can all realte. I don’t feel All alone anymore. I know I have a place where I can share and listen and ask for advice.
So , once again – THANK YOU For this wonderful blog. GOD BLESS OUR KIDS.
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Thanks Pearl, I’m so glad you found us, and I know where you’re at right now. Please believe me that it does get better. Plus, as our kids get older, more and more of their friends will start getting glasses, too. Please keep us updated on how things go for your son, and send us a picture of him in his new glasses if you are up for it.
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There is a new book out with vivid photos called Hazel Needs Glasses.
Check it out at tatteredcover.com and see the front cover and/or order.
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Thanks, Julie! I’ll add it to our books page. On a related note, my youngest daughter (4 1/2 months) is named Hazel, she currently does not need glasses. How funny would it be to have this book if it turned out that she was the one person in our family that didn’t need glasses? (well, probably only funny to our family)
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Glad to hear your other daughter is so far doing well with her vision! I wouldn’t choose not have another child because of my son’s vision problems, but I it’s something I have thought about.
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I am so happy I found this site. My 5 year old daughter is farsighted (I think – I’m a little confused) She is +2.25 in one eye & +4.75 in the other. I am just in shock that I never realized it was a problem, but I would notice that sometimes when she is trying to focus on something small & close, she’ll close one eye. At first I thought her problem was that she could not see far away, but i guess it’s that she has trouble with things that are near. What’s odd to me is that she is able to do her preschool homework (but she does not want to sit for long (I thought that was an age issue). Have any of you with the same problem had your kids still be able to do homework? It just seems odd to me, like that she should not be able to see. In diagnosing her, she looked at the lighted up lines of letters on the wall, and could not do the smaller ones, then the doctor had her look into a machine, while I kept her from moving. The doctor dilated her eyes, waited like 25 minutes & then examined her in the machine. My husband was wondering why the dr did not have her do the “which looks better this one (click click) or this one” thing like we do. Do they just not do that with little kids, since it sounds like most of you mentioned the machine too?
Thanks in advance!
Marcia
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Welcome Marcia!
Your daughter’s eye exam sound very much like my daughter’s. I’m not sure at what age the start the “which is better” thing, but Zoe has never had to do that. From her prescription, it looks like your daughter is farsighted – moreso in the one eye than the other. That might be why she’s closing one eye, so she’s only seeing with her better eye. It is pretty normal for kids who are farsighted to still be able to focus up close, the problem is that it causes eyestrain and sometimes leads to eyes crossing.
As for when to wear them, ask your daughter’s eye doctor. Zoe has a similar prescription (+4.75) and she wears them all the time, except for swimming, bath time, and sleeping.
Good luck and feel free to ask any other questions!
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Oh, also if your child is farsighted, do they only use the glasses when reading &* writing, or even for playing on the playground?
Thanks!
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Thank you so much Ann! I also subscribed to the facebook group too – this is pretty overwhelming, but I feel a little more “normal” reading reactions similar to mine.
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I also wanted to say a quick thank you for this advice. I also teared up reading this account of finding out your toddler needs glasses. So many mixed emotions.
My 2.5 yr old just picked up his glasses this weekend…and I wasn’t prepared for the fact that he wouldn’t want to wear them *at all*, let alone all the time. He’s interested in them, but only for a few minutes at a time. I was comforted by all the advice I found here about keeping positive and not being ashamed to use incentives. Luckily, here on Day Three, he seems to have worn them for most of the day at day care! Amazing!! Guess the excitement and support of his teachers (and his favorite teacher, who wore her glasses instead of contacts today, extra special for him) helped. Here’s hoping we can continue that streak at home.
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Thanks Katy, and welcome! I’m so glad that day 3 seems to be a bit ether, and how wonderful that his teacher was willing to wear her glasses instead of contacts!
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I am so happy I found this website. I found out one of my 5 year olds needs glasses with a +5.50 in both eyes and I have gone back and forth between being really upset to thinking this is stupid to be upset. She is a healthy child who needs glasses. There are so many children with serious health issues I feel guilty for being upset about my child needing glasses. It is nice to know I am not the only person feeling upset.
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Nope, you’re not the only person at all! I’m glad you found us. I think it’s good to keep the perspective that for many of us, our child is healthy, they just need glasses – and even if their vision isn’t good, it is still correctable. But it’s still perfectly fine to be upset about their needing glasses.
Best of luck, and keep us updated on how things go!
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hi all, i have not been so active on the site for awhile, but every now and again i pop in to have a look around and get some added wisdom. i was reading my first post on this site, which is almost a year ago and had to laugh at the way i handled the news. one year later and i cant imagine abigail without her glasses, she is doing so well and really respects her glasses and takes good care of them cause she knows without them she cant see that well. she has done so well this last year and come so far and we are so proud of her. she needs to go in june for her yearly check up when she get the dreaded drops again. so thanks for the video on eye dropping it was cute and helpful. then we will also know if her eyes have improved or not. i think if the diagnose is that it has not gotten worse then we will be happy. keep up the good work. jennifer
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I just found out today that my sweet little girl (17months) needs glasses. My husband doesn’t understand why I am so upset. I feel much better after reading this. Thank you.
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Hi Sarah, welcome! I’m glad you found us. I know we all understand how upsetting this can be. Best of luck and keep us updated on how things go.
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My son is nearly two and I initially was concerned that he had a lazy eye, the gp felt his vision was fine so it took quite alot of persuading to be referred to the specialist. On Tom’s first visit the doctor said she felt he had very little vision in the lazy eye, I was very suprised as he had shown no signs of vision problems, however last week he underwent the drops in his eyes to dilate his pupils and as a result we have been told he is very far sighted, he has been given a prescription of +8 and +9.5 in the lazy eye. The comment made was “I doubt he can see much at all” I am utterly dumbfounded, he knows all his colours and shapes, picks out animals in books, recognises photos and scoots around the park independently. How is this possible or should I get a second opinion? I am so worried about the whole thing.
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Hi Kelly-Ann, I know the feeling. I couldn’t believe that my 2 year old was a +8.5 in both eyes. He loves puzzles and books. How in the world could he do puzzles that weare geared for ages 4 and up if he couldn’t see? He got his glasses on 2/21 and we have noticed a difference. We noticed a change in his personality first. He is still shy but a lot more outgoing and talkative than he used to be. We took him places that he had been before he got his glasses like the zoo and the Children’s Museum. It was like seeing thing for the first time. I almost cried when he looked down and realized those things on the ground were leaves and not just dirt. There are still days that I feel like I was a horrible mother that I didn’t notice sooner. Now I am really grateful that he can see and the well wishes and supportive comments from everyone on this website have been great. We go back this Wednesday for a checkup so I am wondering what they will say about his eyes this time.
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Thankyou for replying Anna, it is very reassuring to hear that your little boy has had a similar experience. I guess I am still just in shock and denial. I wish I could get in his head and take a look just to understand what and how he sees. I am going to try and contact the specialist to see if she can clarify her comments, just as I can’t stop thinking about it and it’s making me neurotic. I hope the news in your checkup tomorrow will be positive for your little one, it sounds like it’s made some wonderful changes to his life.
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My daughter has had bifocals since she was 6 month old. I felt like I had done something wrong to cause this, but time healed that. It took about 5 months to get her to wear them consistently. The gold frames were cute and she had huge thick lenses. She teethed all over one set- the looked horrible with teeth imprints in the plastic. I never get upset with her when she took them off, I would put them back on once if she took them back off- I would let it go for about 5 minutes and then try again. My Mantra was which sounds strange now – Was to never win any battle ( of wills ) about it -but to win the war (of wearing her glasses). Which we did with persistence patience and no frustration. When she got older about two she would wear them in her sleep “to see her dreams” how cute. It was tough on the frames. She swims underwater with them to see where she is going. She has never lost them, but many pairs have broken and we have never had eye glass coverage. When she swims in the ocean I attach a lanyard to them and her bathing suit just in case. She doesn’t feel complete without them now and does not want contacts and she is old enough to have them.
FYI on most frames if they are still made you can just purchase a new side piece instead of a whole new set depending on what is broken. Buy the best quality frames- Not designer but good quality so they hold the correct shape longer it will help. At one point her vision was so poor that even with the glasses she would not be able to pass a drivers exam, but now at 13 she will be able to pass the eye exam portion with her bifocals – That is a relief! I did worry about her being picked on, but other kids wanted to copy her and have glasses too when she was in preschool!
The only negative comment we ever received was when she was about a YEAR old. I quote” what are the glasses for is she blind or cant she see?” I thought for a second and said ” she has trouble reading the newspaper” and walked off. As a mother who can take a long look back its okay and you will both be fine!
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I love your comment to that silly question!! We have had a few of those Lisa. I am going to use that one next time someone makes a negative comment!!
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Hi. I just took my 7 year old to the optometrist today and have been told that he needs glasses. I am a little bit shocked as I only took him just to dot i’s and cross t’s after probs with a lack of focus, tiredness and attention in class. His prescription is R +1.5 (sphere) L +2.25 (sphere) and R -1.00 (cylinder) and L -1.5 (cylinder). I understand that he is mildly long sighted but I looked at the blurred simulation website and driving scene website and it seems that it is significant with the astigmatism. Can that be right? He has been reading well and only mentioned how things looked “soft” or “hairy” when I asked him if his eyes were ok. His script also says PD 50/48. Does anyone know what this means? BTW my son has picked out his new glasses and looks very cool in them.
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Hi…On Monday my 3 year was diagnosed with accommodative esotropia. Her eye started ever so slightly turning in a few weeks ago when she was looking at something close up. It was really barely noticeable but I made her an appt with a pediatric eye doctor. I thought they would tell me some exercises or she would out grow it but she needs glasses. Her prescription is +2.75 which does not lead me to believe her eye sight is bad. Her eye very slightly sometimes turns in. I took her for a 2nd opinion but she did not cooperate at all. The dr did agree with the first dr & I feel confident the 1st dr did get a very good exam. I feel very confused. Can someone help me understand why she would need glasses if it looks like she has a mild case? She also is able to color in the lines so she can see. The doctor mentioned some children out grow this? How do you know if the child will need patching in addition to the glasses? I also have a 6.5 year old 9his eye never turns in) should I schedule an exam for him too? Any other info would be very much appreciated. We are going to get her glasses on Saturday. Thanks so much!
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THANK YOU! I just found out yesterday. This has thrown me for a loop. My daughter is 18 months, she is a surviving twin (her sweet identical twin sister died from SIDS when they were 2 1/2 months old) and she is gorgeous, smart, loving, and hilarious. And apparently far-sighted. My husband and I have never had vision problems. This is all so crazy! Love this website. Thank you.
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Welcome, Sarah! I’m glad you found us. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter.
I love how you put it, “she is gorgeous, smart, loving, and hilarious. And apparently far-sighted.” It really is just one more aspect of our wonderful kids.
Good luck and keep us updated on how it goes!
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I just found out yesterday that my 22 month old little princess needs glasses. I thought she had a lazy eye and that treatment would take a year or two and then she would be fine. Turns out I was wrong, we ended up leaving with her needing a +4 prescription and knowing that most likely she will need glasses all her life. I was shocked at how that made me feel, I felt overwhelmed, sad and that somehow I caused her vision problems. My little Izabella is adorable and has always gotten compliments on her ice blue eyes, that she inherited from her Daddy, and I am so sad to have to cover them up with glasses… especialy seeing as we only had one choice initially a little brown pair (I asked if they could find her a pair of pink or blue ones to order in). Long story short, I am so happy that there is a place that I can connect with other moms that know what we are going through and get advice. I am incredibly thankful that a pair of glasses is all that is required and that Izzie is healthy and happy. I realize there are parents out there dealing with so much worse and my complaining about glasses isn’t by any means comparing our situation with theirs… sometimes it is just nice to vent to people who understand and perhaps learn a few things along the way.
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To anyone whose child has been wearing glasses for one of both eye(s) turning in and needs or has had the eye muscle surgery: Please tell me what your experience was and how your child’s eyes are doing now. My 4 & 1/2 year old daughter has been wearing glasses for almost 2 years now & been doing patch therapy for about 9 or 10 months now. while her eyes have gotten stronger (actual vision she went from 20/70 to 20/40) the right one is still turning in and her Doctor says it is now time to do the eye muscle surgery to try to fix them. It’s scheduled for the 29th of this month & I am soooooo petrified to have it done but feel like we need to even though it is only a cosmetic issue. Has anyone else had to go through this & what was your final decision and why? Id appreciate any feedback on this. I dont really have anyone to talk to about this that understands my views and/or concerns!
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Hi Mandy, Zoe had strabismus surgery at 22 months – we just passed the 3 year anniversary. We chose to go ahead with the surgery on our PO’s recommendation, but also because while it was clear that she needed glasses, and her glasses helped with the crossing, Zoe’s eyes still turned in significantly. The surgery was successful, her eyes have stayed aligned as long as her glasses are on (they still cross when they’re off) and she does have some depth perception. She did need to do some patching about 6 months ago.
I wrote about her surgery here: http://littlefoureyes.com/2008/09/01/surgery-redux/
Good luck! I know I was terribly upset and worried when it became clear that glasses were not fixing her eyes completely. I don’t think anyone wants their child to need any surgery, but at least in our case, I feel it was the right decision.
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Thanks Ann! I appreciate your response! Im struggling with the decision because there is a 1 in 4 chance that she may need a repeat surgery due to under or over-correcting. & In your comment, you mentioned that your daughters’ eyes still cross when her glasses are off so it makes me wonder why they do the surgery to begin with if it does’nt even fix the problem. I just think the surgery should correct that with or without glasses on…Im soooooo confused about this whole situation & our P.O. has answered all of my questions but my mind is all over the place still! AHHHH this is so confusing! LOL… Anyway, thanks again for your input & is there somewhere I could post this other than this “starting out” page to try to get more responses from others who have also been through or are going through this?
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Oh, I understand the worry about needing a repeat surgery. It’s still a constant worry for me, I’m always obsessively checking Zoe’s pictures to see if she’s showing any signs of crossing her eyes again. In terms of eyes crossing without glasses, though, that’s due to there being a couple different reasons why the eyes cross: over active muscles or farsightedness. In my daughter’s case, it was due a little bit to both. The strabismus surgery only corrects the muscle issue, not the farsightedness issue. So you only want them correcting the crossing that’s due to the muscles. Since our children will still be farsighted, they’ll still need to wear glasses, so correcting the crossing that’s done in order to focus will actually end up over correcting. Plus, our kids will likely become less farsighted as they get older (though they may still always need glasses), so again, you don’t want the surgeon correcting for that part of the crossing. It is confusing, that’s for sure. As our kids get older, they also start being able to hold their eyes straight even without glasses, and I have noticed Zoe crossing less without her glasses. And most adults I know who have strabismus keep their eyes straight most of the time, except when they’re particularly tired.
As for getting more responses, I’m happy to post this as a question on the main blog page, or you could ask on the Little Four Eyes facebook group, or the Parents of Children with Strabismus facebook group. Let me know if you want me to make this a question post on the blog.
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Oh okay I understand it more now! & My daughter is also farsighted as well so that further explains the reasons why her eye(s) could continue to cross even after surgery! Thank You SOOOO much Ann!
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I said a prayer of thanks for your website and all the moms willing to share their experiences on it!!! We just found out that our 4 1/2 year old needs glasses ( 6.50 and 6.25) and it is good to know that I am not alone with some of the things I’m feeling…the guilt for not knowing there was a problem….sadness that his beautiful brown eyes and cute freckles will now be covered by glasses. It will be fine I know and I am grateful we can do something about it! Anyway, thanks again for the honesty, information and wisdom of those that have been there and are willing to share their stories.
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Great post. I will do a track back from our blog.
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I just found out my 25 month old son needs glasses, was feeling a little sad, confused and upset. Came home and started researching what to expect and what everything the PO said. Thanks to this website I feel a lot better and more informed. I did notice the obvious signs with my son’s vission and our pediatrician referred us to the PO. I was shocked when he gave us the results of the exam. Nearsighted -850 on both eyes, I never expected that. Both I and my wife are nearsighted but no where near that. I’m -2.5 on both eyes and my wife is -2.5 OD & -5.0 OS. We’re getting a second opinion tomorrow just to confirm the results. I’ve found lots of information online but my main concern is should they correct his vision 100% or correct it 75% and let his eyes try to compensate? I’ve read conflicting opinions in regards to this issue. The PO stated he wanted to correct him 100% but what’s everyone’s opinion on this? Thanks again for all your help and this wonderful website.
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My son is 6yrs 9mths. We have just been told hes very long sighted in 1 eye and has a slight turn and a lazy eye, not sure if it was all in 1 eye. Got confused. We have 2 c a specialist at the hospital nxt mth. They will do the dialation and a exam. Been told he should get the prescription there. The optition we went 2 c couldnt do it. hard 2 undersatand2 me. Im shocked at the news and cant belive i missed it. Ur artical was helpful 2 me. I will take the tips on bord. 😀
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My son had his appointment last week. Hes getting his 1st pair of glasses on weekend at 1 months shy of 7 yrs old. Im kind of confused.. The 1st person at the clinic that did an eye test (charts) then eye drops, well she said she wouldnt give my son glasses as its to late for him. as hes almost 7yrs??!! Well the specialist did hs tests after the drops worked and said it will be harder but we will work harder to get an improvement. My son is geting a clear lense for his left eye and a +3.00 for the right. Thats all that was on the prescription. So far my son will wear the glasses all the time for 2 months, another eye test then to see if any improvement, if not he gets patches for 3 months. I dont knw what will happen then, he didnt say…. So we r all confused but trying t oget on with it for our sons sake.
( he does have the lazy right eye but no turn and the consultant went on about my sons brain has favored the left eye and cant do much about it now)
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I’m so glad that you’re getting glasses and working for with the specialist. It used to be conventional wisdom was that amblyopia was untreatable after 8 years old, but recent studies have found that while it’s harder as kids get older, you can still see improvement in older children. Good luck to you and him, and let us know how things go!
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Its a few weeks in with his 1st pair of glasses… Strage and wounderful thing has happened. He took them off to go to bed and said, everything looks funny mum.. He saying that everything looks brighter and bigger when his glasses r on. So much for the consultant saying my son wouldnt notice a difference!!! and it could b to late. Im soo happy and cant wait for his nxt eye test in feb!! i hope he dont need patches and this is a good sign. Alex, my son turned 7yrs old last thursday. 😀
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What great news! I love when our kids can tell us that their glasses are helping!
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Another eye test nxt week, eeks…. this is to c if the glasses r working, if not its patches..
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Thank you for this website. We just found out that our 11 month old daughter Reese has accomodative esotropia and is going to have to wear glasses. I am crushed at the news but know that it is in her best interest to do so. This may seem silly, but I almost feel like I’m in mourning over it. Within the last few weeks, her right eye has been pulling inward; usually only at night when she is tired or when she is eating. I took her to the PO thinking that they would recommend patching but was shocked to hear that she was as farsighted as she was (8 &8.5). I had no idea that she was unable to see well. She is a very inquisitive little girl and has hit all of her milestones on time or ahead of schedule. The most troubling information that I received from the PO was that once my little one starts to wear her glasses, both of her eyes will cross when she takes the glasses off. Right now only her right eye crosses in and it only does it every once in awhile. I feel like by getting her glasses, I am helping her and hurting her all at the same time. Very sad and confusing!
Anyways, we are going to pick out her glasses today, so wish us luck that everything goes smoothly. Thank you again for this site. I feel a little better already (-:
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my 3 year old son doesn’t have glasses yet but I have made an appointment for the pediatric opthamologist. unfortunately the soonest appointment is two months from now. my son has been squinting and bringing things close to his face. im still not sure if its just a phase or if it is poor vision. i can convince myself either way since he points out the tiniest details and it seems some days are worse than others for squinting and there is no family history of glasses. either way, he could use the eye exam, too bad its not til december.
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Hi There, I am so happy to have found this site……. My 41/2 yr old had a appointment with the pediatrician yesterday and she noticed he cannot see very well with right eye.. Today , I took him to a O.D ( optometry) and he said he needs glasses with +5.0 for right eye and +2.5 for the left eye.. as he is farsighted…I am not sure whether i should take him to someone else to just to be sure.. the appointment with the O.D went on for almost 45 min. first they put some eye drops in his eye and waited for 5 minutes and then they looked through two instruments and the nurse printed out some pictures of his eyes which were basically in colors looked more like a picture of a planet with different colors mainly greens , oranges and little bit of red.. then the O.D checked him and made him wear something like space gogles.. also checked if he see things double.. made him look through a 3 D glasses and couple of other things.. I am wondering if this is all there is to test and if he missed something… Thanks!
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It sounds like a pretty standard appointment. The eye drops would have dilated his eyes, allowing the eye doctor to look at his eye and see the shape and determine the prescription. Since his right eye needs a stronger prescription than his left, it fits with what his pediatrician noticed. Did they have your son look at any eye charts? At 4 1/2 he should be able to do eye charts, and that would tell you how well he’s seeing out of the right eye. I think if you’re not entirely comfortable with the appointment yesterday, then you should get a second opinion. I’d specifically look for someone who specializes in children’s vision.
Good luck!
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Hi Ann, Yes they asked him to read the charts and he was not able to read it correctly with right eye.. I am trying to get an appointment with an M.D. Pediatric Optomalogist and it is hard work .. trying to find a good one …. and to top that my insurance does nto cover anything… 😦
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Hi all,
Great to find this site! We are just embarking into the world of eye exams for our 11 month old son. His right eye turns out and up intermittantly and has since about 5 months old, although the frequency and duration seems to be increasing. Disappointingly our family doctor and optometrist sort of shrugged it off and said things looked fairly normal. (He didn’t exhibit the eye turning during the appointment.) We now have an appointment scheduled with a paediatric opthamologist and an orthoptist. I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions for questions I should be sure to ask or things to enquire about at the appointment? I do now have a couple of photographs of his turned eye, so hopefully that will be somewhat helpful.
Thanks,
Emily
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Welcome, Emily. How frustrating to have the doctors just shrug it off. I’m glad that you have photos, I know our PO really appreciated that we brought them in with us, because Zoe’s eye didn’t turn during her first appointment, either, but we were able to show the doctor what we were seeing.
Will you have someone else with you at the appointment? I found that having two of us there made it a lot easier for one person to focus on asking questions, and the other could focus on Zoe, who always seemed to start crying right at the end of the appointment when the doctor was trying to talk with us.
I’d ask what the doctor thinks is causing the eye turn, and what the treatment steps are. I’d also ask about when you should schedule another appointment, and what reasons should you bring him in sooner. If it does end up that your son needs glasses, ask for a couple of glasses shops that the eye doctor could recommend.
Good luck and let us know how the exam goes!
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Thanks very much for your note Ann! Good suggestion to have two of us at the appointment – that should be no problem for us. It still amazes me that there are ways for doctors to diagnose eye and sight issues in such young children. I am looking forward to hearing what the doctor has to say. I’ll revisit this site once we know 🙂
Emily
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Well..we had our appointment and am I ever glad that I pushed for an appointment with a paediatric opthamologist! We received excellent care and it turns out that our little guy is significantly near-sighted. We received a prescription for glasses (-5 in both eyes) and we should receive the glasses soon. It looks like we’ll be visiting this sight a lot more for tips and tricks. Our doctor also mentioned that the near-sighted diagnosis was fairly unusual for a one year old, so I’ll be interested to find other parents here with kids who have similar diagnosis.
Thanks again!
Emily
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What a wonderful website! Thank you to all who contribute such useful advice and information and such touching stories. My daughter just turned 2 in October, and we were told last week she needed glasses for farsightedness (eye turning in and lots of squinting during close play). She is very verbal, so we have talked a lot about her getting glasses–we have made it like a prize because she was such a good girl at the eye doctor. She informed us that her glasses will be pink (fine with me–whatever floats her boat), and she seemed excited to have glasses just like mommy and daddy have. All that was before we actually went to the optical shop. We went today, and she freaked out. Would not even try on a single pair and just cried and cried and wanted to go home. She thought it was another doctor’s office (because it is the optical shop at our opthalmologist’s office–we want to buy there because they are great about adjustments and have a good warranty) and couldn’t pull herself together. We tried toys, songs, everything, and eventually had to leave because we couldn’t get her measured for lenses. Does anyone have any advice for getting her to calm down and try on the glasses? I have tried putting my glasses on her (which she does) and putting her sunglasses on her and her stuffed animals. We discussed today that there are no more doctors, and that we are only shopping, as well as that she can’t get her new pink glasses unless she tries them on. The problem is that she is 2–it is hard, or maybe impossible, to reason with her. I would be so grateful for any advice. I hope to be able to post a picture of my Sofie with her new pink glasses someday soon!
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Update to my own post–we bought glasses today! We went back a second time (in the morning when she was very happy), and she cooperated enough to get her pupils measured and try on the glasses. Whew! They will be ready in a week, and then comes the real challenge of keeping them on her . . .
This is a great website. It’s nice to know there are so many kids out there who need glasses and who seem perfectly happy to wear them (not to mention cute)!
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Hooray! Glad it went better. Let us know how the next parts go, too!
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How can you tell if your child has been given the right prescription? My son, who is 3 1/2 and just got glasses. He keeps taking them off (which I expected). When I ask him why he doesn’t want to wear his glasses, he says because he want to see things that are closer to him. His pediatric ophthalmologist said that he was severely farsighted.
Any suggestion about what to do?
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Hello-I am new here! Here’s my story, so far: Three weeks ago my husband and I noticed that our 18 month old son, Luke, looked a little cross-eyed. We thought it was just a fluke, but the next day it was worse, and very obvious. Each day since it has been very easy to see that his right eye turns in almost all the time, more so when he is tired(occasionally his left one does instead). He also started closing his right eye as he was eating, playing, or smiling for the camera. We saw our pediatrician 3 days after it started, and got a referral to a pediatric optometrist who specializes in eye disease and works with a pediatric ophthalmologist. The ophthalmologist wasn’t available for 3 months, but we got an appointment in 3 weeks with the optometrist. I called every single day to see if there were any cancellations, and we got in a week early (Dec. 1)!
We were told that Luke is far-sighted and has astigmatism in both eyes, esotropia in his right eye and quite likely amblyopia in his right eye. He was prescribed glasses with the same prescription in both eyes: sphere +2.00, cyl -1.00, axis 180. The doctor said that he does not believe the prescription is strong enough to totally fix the eye crossing. So we were told to patch Luke’s left eye for 2 hours a day with glasses, in hopes that the eyes will start crossing equal amounts of time (one eye will not be stronger than the other). We will re-assess in 2 months and see how Luke is progressing, but they also did mention he may be a candidate for strabismus surgery in the future.
Questions: Why is his prescription the same in both eyes if he has amblyopia?
Any advice on whether to start glasses and patching the same day?
Should I start with adhesive or straight to fabric over the glasses?
(We ordered Miraflex and they should arrive in about a week.)
Oh, and did anyone else experience this sudden eye crossing out of nowhere?
Sorry this is so long, and I wasn’t sure where to post it. I am so thankful for this website-I have learned so much and don’t feel alone!! Thank you thank you thank you.
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Welcome Anna! Amblyopia simply means that one (or sometimes both) eye is not seeing as well as it should, even when it’s corrected with glasses. There’s a lot of causes for amblyopia, one is if one eye has a stronger prescription (anisometropic amblyopia), but another common cause is strabismus – basically, because your son is crossing his eyes (probably due to being farsighted, since if you’re farsighted, you can still focus, but it often causes your eyes to cross), his brain is ignoring the input from one of the eyes so that it doesn’t see double (strabismic amblyopia). Patching the strong eye should help his brain begin to relearn to process visual information from the weaker eye.
I don’t know whether it’s best to start patching and glasses at the same time, did the eye doctor have any recommendations? On one hand, it may be easier to start glasses first and then add patching so your son doesn’t associate glasses with patching – glasses will help him see, patching at first will make it harder for him to see, though over time it will help him see, too. On the other hand, early treatment is better. I don’t know if anyone else has experience with that.
As for the patches, I think that if your son will leave the adhesives on, and they don’t bother his skin, then you know that he’s not peeking. The cloth ones are great for kids with sensitive skin, and are really cute, but you have to make sure that he can’t peek around them.
Good luck!
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Thank you, Ann! I’m sure you repeat yourself hundreds of times to help others and I appreciate it so much. The doctor said I could wait until the glasses arrived to start patching, so it won’t be as hard on the eye Luke hasn’t been using-at least he’ll have the right prescription. I’m thinking it will probably be a confusing transition no matter what, so I’ll just go with them both the same day. I’m going to start with adhesive and see how it goes…wish us luck!! 🙂
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We have identical twin girls who have wandering eyes. In one the wandering eye is very pronounced in the left eye and in the other daughter, she alternates between eyes but it is not as noticible (to others). We decided to see a different PO (the previous one had a horrible bedside manner to me as the parent and every question was met with eye rolling and disdain) and in our appointment today we were told that the girl with the more pronouced exotropia is also slightly more farsighted in one eye and needs glasses. This doctor also wants us to start patching both girls even though the previous doctor had said that patching would do no good as this was a heriditary issue and not a muscular problem. We were really caught off guard with the notion of glasses for our daughter, mostly because they are identical twins and we are worried about this being their distinguishing charecteristic. We didn’t ask nearly enough questions because we weren’t prepared for the conversation (we went in expecting to talk about wandering eyes). I’m sure that like the other parents on here we would be having trouble with the idea of our 4 year old daughter getting glasses period, but now we are dealing with the issue of only one of our daughters having this problem (both our issues and what it will mean to them).
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Thank you, thank you, thank you for this website!! My 2-year old daughter’s introduction to glasses could not have gone better, thanks in large part to the advice I found on this site. During the 10 days between the day we learned Sofie would need glasses and the day they arrived, we talked about glasses, we read books about glasses that were recommended here (I Wish I Had Glasses Like Rosa and Spectacular Spectacles), I bought a toy with glasses (Jeanette from the Chipmunks), and we generally hyped up the idea of glasses because mommy and daddy wear them. I picked them up Friday afternoon while she was napping. I let her play with them during her post-nap snack. After her snack, I struggled for 10 minutes to get them on her face, then ran to the computer to play a Pooh game she likes (I remembered reading stories about people watching videos while their kids wore a patch). As soon as she started to watch the game, that was it. No complaining, no trying to take them off, we were done. The entire thing happened while my husband was in the shower. When he came out of the bedroom, he was expecting a struggle, but she was running around playing and seemed to have forgotten about them. They came off for bed and bath, and she was happy to put them back on after. She literally has no inclination to take them off. Today is day 3, and she is still totally fine with her glasses. What a relief! Thank you so much to all who took the time to tell your stories and offer your good advice. You definitely paved the way to make this a painless experience!
I do have one question that I am sure all the veterans know. My daughter’s prescription is for farsightedness (+3 in both eyes). To me, it seems like her glasses are reading glasses, so I understand how they help her to see close things. But how is it that she wears them all the time, including to see far away? I could never wear reading glasses all the time. How can she? Thanks so much!
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Hi Everyone, I’m glad I found this site. Around Christmas, my 3 1/2 year old started crossing her eyes sporadically. I took her to a pediatric opthamologist who suggested glasses but she didn’t seem too sure that the glasses would help and that my daughter might eventually need surgery. We are getting a second opinion in a couple of weeks. I’m just wondering whether any of you insisted on an MRI for your child. Her vision really isn’t that poor according to the exam and I’m worried there could be another cause. We are going to discuss this with the next eye doctor. Can an eye doctor rule out other causes for the Esotropia? Just wondering if anyone else has any thoughts. Thanks!
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Hi Sandy, we haven’t had Zoe get an MRI, because it was clear that she had vision issues that were contributing to her eye turn. I would think that if an eye doctor couldn’t explain an eye turn, they should be able to refer you to a doctor that could. I’m glad you’re getting a second opinion. Did the PO do a dilated exam, or just have your daughter read the charts? Let us know what you end up finding out, and good luck!
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Thanks Ann! The PO did do a dilated exam. Before the dilated exam, she thought my daughter was very farsighted but then after the dilated exam, she said she wasn’t. I don’t wear glasses so this is all so new to me. I tried to ask the doctor a bunch of questions but she was really not good at answering them. We go to the next doctor in 2 weeks and I’m hoping for a more positive experience and some clearer answers. I’ll keep you posted.
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Hi,
My 20 month old has been wearing glasses for 4 months. His eye is still turning and I was just told that he needs to now start patching for 4 hours/day probably for the next few years. I haven’t tried the actual patch yet but every time I cover his good eye even for a moment he goes crazy. Any helpful tips as to how to approach this and/or get my son to cooperate? Also, any recommendations for a patch that is comfortable and non-irritating?
Thanks to anyone that can offer suggestions.
-Angie
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We use Ortopads, and we love them! I put my son’s patch on as soon as he wakes up, like immeadiately, and then get him busy right away with getting dressed and brushing teeth and all that. In the beginning I had to literally sit on him to get it on, but now he cooperates completely. You can order patch posters from ortopad, and if my son leaves his on for his entire 4 hours he gets to put the patch on the poster. This process requires patience, lots and lots of patience. In the begininning I wore the patch a few times too, and that seemed to help him feel a little better about it.
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Well, my son is 19 months old, and he’s only been patching/wearing glasses for one month. He is patching for 2 hours a day. The first day was the only day he really tried to pull the patch off. To get it on that first time, I gave him a cookie in each hand and my mom and I pretty much did a song and dance. 🙂 I talked about it being a superhero mask (like Superwhy on PBS) and now he calls the patch SuperWhy. I read on here once that someone else did that. That first day, he scratched and pulled at it for a few minutes (I think he actually could not get his bad eye to adjust and may have felt blind) but eventually forgot all about it as we kept constantly distracting him with toy trains, and then cartoons. We also each wore a patch for a little while with him that first day. Now I always put it on him in the morning while he’s eating breakfast so he is busy. He fights me for the 15 seconds it takes to get it on, then he never touches it and acts fine until time to take it off. I always talk in an excited voice when I’m putting it on him and smile at him. I have only tried Coverlet Junior because that’s what my Target sells and it has worked well. I do stick it on my shirt before I put it on his face to get some of the stickiness off. And I got some sample patches from MYI occlusion patches that I also liked. We haven’t had any issues with them irritating skin yet. Best of luck to you!
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Thanks so much for your advice! This is really helpful….about to order the patches…wish me luck!!
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Thanks for the great forum really worried about my little girl who has just been told she has to wear glasses so young, I was 2 so heart broken thinking i never spotted it but she adapted so well and you couldn’t tell at all. Seeing the size of the lenses and how strong they are shocked me event more. wasn’t until she put the glasses on and said daddy your hair is spiky and mummy i can see your eyes now made me fill up.
Still bit worried for her but i know its the best option.
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Oh my goodness, the “mummy I can see your eyes now” is priceless! Best of luck
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This is a really fantastic article! Thank you. I found out this week that my daughter needs glasses and I was devastated. To make matters worse, my friends and family made me feel bad for being upset about it all. She is 3 and I can’t imagine how difficult it will make her life, all our favorite things to do, waterparks, sports, sledding, skiing, and she will have to contend with glasses. I shouldn’t be surprised as both my husband and I wear glasses but I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. But it is what it is and she is a VERY resilient child, so this she will do with great ease, I just know it. But I still can’t but be sad for her. It’s another thing she just shouldn’t have to deal with! Thank you for making me feel better about being upset about it. I was really starting to think I was crazy!
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Welcome Bridget! I’m so sorry others are making you feel bad about being upset. As you said, it is what it is, and she’ll be fine, but this isn’t easy, not on you or on her. We’ve all been through this, be kind to yourself and let yourself be upset, and then know that this gets a whole lot easier!
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I just found out today that my 4 1/2 year old has to wear glasses. They originally did a screening at her pre-school and sent a letter home that they suggest that I take her to a specialist because they felt she has a vision problem. I scheduled an appointment to a well known optometrist in the area that specializes in peds. I waited months for the appointment and when I took her today I was anticipating on hearing that everything was fine- as she has never showed any signs of having trouble seeing. However, the exact opposite happened. Not only does she have a mild vision problem, but she also has a pretty strong astigmatism which is impairing her vision even more, and that her right eye muscle wasn’t as strong has her left. Ofcourse, I cried. This was my ‘baby’, and now she needs glasses.. I felt such guilt as her mom- is there something I could have done? Fed her more carrots, made her stand even further from the tv? How did I NOT notice she had trouble seeing?! I felt like a failure, felt guilt, and felt even worse for my daughter. The doctor explained to me that children usually don’t show signs, especially if they are born with it- they learn to naturally adjust and don’t realize what it is like to see better. She also explained that this would help gain strength in her weaker eye. Also, I worried what the other kids would say when she comes back to school next week with glasses. I just felt so bad for her. Then all of the sudden she looks at me and says “Mommy don’t cry. I like glasses, they look like jewelry. And you look beautiful in your glasses.” (I recently got glasses so that I wouldn’t wear my all the time)… Her comment made me smile, eased my worries and made me realize it was going to be OKAY – especially if it helps her see! Tomorrow we are going and picking out frames. If my 4 1/2 is going to be okay, I need to be okay too! 🙂
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Welcome Basia! What a lovely, sweet daughter you must have! I love her comment to you. The guilt you describe is so familiar, but please, please know that you did nothing to cause this, instead, you are doing an amazing thing for your daughter to get her vision treated so that she can see! Have fun picking out frames with your daughter, you’ll have to share a picture of her once she gets them.
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Awesome! I wish I had seen your site when I was freaking out about my 2yo needing glasses last month. I wrote a blog post about it here:
http://houseofpeanut.blogspot.com/2012/01/today-my-baby-girl-picked-out-first-of.html
Here’s how it went when we picked them up (more awesome than I could ever have imagined):
http://houseofpeanut.blogspot.com/2012/01/ive-always-wanted-penguin.html
So to anyone in the freak-out stage, it does get better 🙂
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Hi all, my name is Sam. I just came across this website and so glad I did! I just found out yesterday that my 4 year old needs glasses. She had a screening at her pediatrician and they refered her to a eye doctor. I was overwhelmed hearing this news and I felt the guilt and worry that I have read you have all felt as well. The doctor was very brief and basically said “yup she needs glasses” He handed me a prescription and told me to see him in 5 weeks. He didn’t even explain the prescription to me and I was so stunned at the time.. I did not ask all the questions I should have. I plan on calling him back in Monday to get a better explaination. Since the appointment I have been surfing the net like a nut trying to fill my brain with as much knowledge as i can. One thing I do not understand and maybe one of you can help…. He told me she was farsighted and the script was something like R + 575 and L + 475. So from what I read on the net, the “plus sign” indicates farsightedness right? But my daughter seems to have symptoms like having to sit close to the tv to see , holding a book very close to her face and when we went to see Disney on Ice, she couldnt see the characters clearly on the ice.. wouldn’t all these symptoms be considered nearsighted?
ughh!!! frustration…..
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not sure if I did this right- did anyone see my post? sam
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Hi Sam, welcome! you did post correctly. And you’re right, the plus sign means your daughter is farsighted. But with a high enough prescription, she may have trouble seeing at most distances.
Good luck with her glasses
Sent from my iPhone
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Hi, all!!! I too am so grateful to have found this site. My son 4 1/2 yrs old just got his first pair of glasses. I have been feeling so bad about Danny having to wear glasses, my heart is broken. I can not even talk to anyone about it, but I am being positive with my son. It just saddens me that my “perfect little boy” will now need to wear glasses, and possibly distract from his handsome face. I realize that this is an exaggerated reaction, and have to keep reminding myself it will be okay. In comparison to other children’s health issues this is minor. On the good hand I am not too worried about the other children’s reactions because he is very sociable and outgoing, he is in a pre-kindergarten program. I am a little confused because in the doctor’s office when he was doing the exam I thought he was saying 300 or 400s when he was picking up lens to see which ones worked. He was doing Danny’s exam by looking through the lens into Danny’s eyes-normal? Anyway the script I have says R (sphere) +325 (cylinder) -050 (axis) 180 and L (sphere)+375 (cylinder) -050 (axis) 180 and under a column that says P.D. he has 54 under DIST. and 51 under NEA, in the middle of L and R rows, so I assume this is for both eyes. The doctor said he has really bad eyes, and would need to wear glasses all the time, and probablly for the rest of his life. I read most of the posts from 2009 to now, so do you think he is really +three hundred? or should there be a point in there like everyone else seems to have in their script like +3.25? I just wonder because the doctor was really making a big deal of “boy did he ever need glasses”, and when we turned it in at the eyeglass place the receptionist did the same thing. However, from reading the posts a +3.25 doesn’t seem like something to make a big deal over. The one post talked about the “coke bottle glasses”(although it was for a nearsight script), and Danny’s glasses are pretty thick (btwn 3-4cm), and magnify his eyes when you look at him directly. Does this sound right for his script? Thinking about getting 2nd opinion, because he has never seemed to have problems, even can read the letters from a typed letter without the glasses. Thanks in advance for any input (=
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Hi Nancy, the exam sounds quite normal. I recently saw a great video explaining how they use those lenses to determine the prescription, basically it has to do with how the light is reflected from the back of the eye.
Some doctors don’t write the decimal point, so yes, your son is a +3.25 and +3.75. That’s is not a severely high prescription, but it’s certainly strong enough that you want it treated. I think most kids that age are around a +1.00.
I recommend a second opinion if you’re ever unsure. That said, kids who are farsighted often don’t show much of a problem seeing things. They can accommodate for their farsightedness, though it causes eyestrain and can pull their eyes to crossing and puts them at a high risk for amblyopia (lazy eye), that’s why it’s treated. Zoe’s glasses are +4.75 and I’ve never thought of them as “coke bottle glasses”, and I don’t think it’s because I’m biased to think she looks beautiful no matter what 🙂
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Thank you, I was very upset to know my son needed glasses. Even more so when I saw that there was no specific care taken when the children as litttle as 3yrs were beign tested for vision. Second & Third opinions resulted in larger sight reading & one famous dr just copied the 1st dr’s prescription & asked me to use the same……. my experience worsened further when i visited the optician to select the frame, they were clueless about helping a child or parents of children, only words offered were the prices offrames & glasses & they were marketing the most expesnsive glassses. It was very confusing & I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing. I am still wondering…
It’s been 2 hours now, since my son is wearing his glasses,I am working on teaching him & myself on how to handle them .
This site just encouraged me to keep going. Thanks a ton.
Nethra
Bangalore, India
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Oh how frustrating, Nethra! I hope you can find a better doctor and optician!
Good luck and keep us updated on how things are going
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I’m bawling right now reading this. It is sooo comforting to hear. I’m a mother of twin girls..23 months, and just got the news that one needs glasses. She wasn’t premature, but I know I’ll hear that from people. ASS-UMPTIONS, lol. It’s to straighten a slight turn in her left eye. We caught it early, but still I keep wishing it away so somehow she won’t need them, and life can continue as normal.
I took care of an ill child and watched him be ‘different’, made fun of, and he eventually passed away, though I would have given my life for him to have continued on. I could handle it all back then. I didn’t care about what people thought, but I felt much stronger then. I feel defeated and broken sometimes now, and while I know this could be much, much worse…I still feel guilty. A mothers’ guilt is the worst thing in the world, because it’s always nearby, even when things are completely out of our control. We always find a way to place blame on ourselves.
I have suffered, and THOUGHT I was in remission, but sometimes I wonder, with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. If I still do, it used to be by far much worse. Thought people were staring at me, laughing at me, got all panicky in public places, magnified every imperfection and wanted to ‘fix it’. I don’t think any of that helps here being that though called beautiful later in my life, not so much now but in my 20’s, and having gone through such abuse by a boyfriend, parents, and bullied unrelentlessly throughout junior high and high school WITHOUT glasses, obviously I have my own very deep fears in the whole glasses thing. Life is so hard as is, but this article comforts me. She’s just so little to, and I know this is going to be beyond tough..especially her being a twin and the brut of the two. I’m really nervous.
Thanks for this site. I’m posting a poem on my blog today I wrote this morning about trying to come to grips with all of this. I’m linking it back to this website, as I think this is a GREAT resource for others..and myself.
Thanks!
Shelly
http://www.twinpossible.com/blog
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Shelly, thanks for writing, and for sharing the link to your poem. You really put into words the fears I remember having when I learned Zoe would need glasses. It’s so hard to get the news that your child needs something like glasses, especially if you don’t know anyone else who has deal with it. Plus, glasses are so visible on kids, they aren’t something you can hide. I know it’s hard to imagine it, but your daughter will be beautiful, with glasses and without them, and with them, she’ll be able to see. I hope someday soon, you’ll be writing another great poem about how lovely your daughter is, and how those glasses haven’t changed her, they’ve just made it easier for her to see.
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Hello and thank you for your site. It has really helped me since I found out my son needs glasses. He just turned 1 year old and he just got his glasses last week (happy birthday! 🙂 The doctor said he has Accommodative Esotropia, but 4 months ago, the same doctor told us he had Pseudostrabisumus, so we’re going for a second opinion to the Cleveland Clinic. Well, we have been having a struggle with the glasses. His prescription is +1.00 and +0.5. As soon as we put the glasses on, he rips them off. We try to play pat-a-cake and finger plays, but now I feel like I’m holding his arms down too much and he’s beginning to fear when my husband or I may “attack” him with the glasses and essentially hold his hands. The longest he’s kept them on is 15 minutes, but usually he just struggles until he can get them off. We’ve tried to make a game out of it, tried to keep his hands occupied, we bought him a build-a-bear with glasses, but he rips the glasses off his bear too! He also loves to rip my husband’s glasses off. If we don’t hold his hands as we initially put them on, they won’t even last a second on his face. Well, if you have a word of advice or encouragement, I could really use it. I’m starting to feel discouraged and I know that’s the worst thing to be right now…. Thanks. 🙂
-Beth
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I agree with the second opinion. I am doing the same for my daughter. She at first said psuedo then changed in a minute later, to a very slight case, but my just turned two year old, who happens to be a twin, will need glasses for the exact same reason…accomadative esotropia. I have cried and cred over the thought of her wearing glasses. She’s tiny, very active, and still so young. I am heartbroken and I do feel your pain and discouraged.
I know my child will have a damn hard time with glasses because of her personality for one, her twin, her activness..she does dive forward rolls for pete’s sake, and likes nothing in her hair, much less on her face. That is going to kill me, but I’m getting the second opinion 1st.
When did you notice the turn of the eye? Hers is only sometimes, and I saw it in pics but read that if the reflection of the flash lights up the same in both eyes in pics and not in different locations, then it is psuedo, and that is what is going on with my Annaliese. The flashes line up, but they still said she has a slight case caught early. My husband doesn’t buy it and I always say get a second opinion. Praying for the best, but….
Hang in there and w/b any time. Such a hard thing to deal with.
Shelly
PS- Anybody know of glasses for babies that are actually cute and not so obvious like miraflex which was recommended to us because of durability. I find them cheap looking, super obvious, and ugly as sin. She needs durable..someone must make them, no? Price isn’t that important where she is concerned. TIA
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I need help. My daughter, who will be 4 in April needs glasses for strabismus. We found out about 2 weeks ago and since then we have been to 6 places to try to find glasses for her. My daughter has other health issues, and because of those issues she is very very petite. She needs a size 39 or smaller. The place we went today is going to order 2 pairs for us to look at. I feel like this is so limiting. I wanted her to have a real choice. Do you think it would be worth it to drive almost 2 hours each way to a store that specializes in just kids frames? So far even the kids frames we have looked at are way too big for her. Has anyone dealt with this before? We can’t have the only petite girl who needs glasses. Can anyone recommend a brand? This whole process, especially on top of her other health issues has been intense. I just want to get a pair of glasses so we can start working on the problem. I can’t believe how difficult this process has been. She was so excited at first, but after 6 stores we are all a little tired of the process. I’m not thrilled with the idea of a 4 hour round trip (and neither is my husband who thinks we should just wait and see what the shop her can order), but I want to do what’s best for my daughter.
Thanks for any input.
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Oh how frustrating! We are lucky to live near a great shop that caters to children, and it’s amazing the selection they have, especially when I compare it to other shops that have one small display case for children. And when Zoe was 14 months, I don’t think we would have found anywhere that carried frames to fit her. There certainly are a lot of frames for babies and small children, but most glasses shops won’t stock a lot of them because they just won’t see children that small, so they end up eating the cost of any frames that they don’t sell.
But a 2 hour trip is no a small thing! Where are you located? Maybe someone else here knows of a closer shop with a wider selection. I think if there isn’t anything closer, I might make that drive. Getting glasses that fit well is really important.
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We live in the Sacramento area. There might be a children’s glasses shop, but I have not been able to find one. I would love it if someone had a referral. We have even been to through UC Davis, and they were great but not very helpful with actual glasses.
My gut is telling me to find a children’s shop – even if it means a 2 hour trip. I’ve worn glasses since 3rd grade and I know how important it is to have a good fit and something you feel cute in.
Thanks for setting this site up. It’s great to have support and guidance.
Molly
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I thought I might just add this aside. Today my 6 year old son went in for his well child check and and found out that he may also need glasses. We have to have his eyes checked more carefully, but it looks like it will happen. Luckily I am sure it will be easier to find him glasses, but when I heard, all I could think was “Are you kidding me?”
I guess we will have a quick learning curve in this household.
Molly
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When it rains, it pours, huh? Are you on the facebook group? You could ask there about any shops with a good selection of small frames. Otherwise, I think your gut may be right, though you’ll have to make 2 trips, one to pick out the glasses, and a second to pick them up when they arrive. Could you make a fun day of it going to pick out glasses and maybe doing something else fun nearby?
Good luck!
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Hi Ann, Just wondering your thoughts on holding down a one year old’s hands/arms when we put glasses on. He’s not taking to them at all, and it’s been 3 weeks. My husband and I are now trying NOT to hold down his arms/hands, but he takes them right off. My MIL (who watches him 5 days a week) pulls his arm down a few times until he will leave them on for a few minutes with hands free. Which do you think is a better approach?
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That’s tough! My gut reaction is that I agree with you and your husband. I would worry that holding his arms down would create a power struggle and a bad association for him with the glasses. But, if he just needs to get throu the first few moments the glasses are on, and being restrained doesn’t upset him, then maybe it’s an ok strategy to get through these first few weeks until he leaves them on more reliably. I personally prefer to have distractions there right away after putting the glasses on so he would (hopefully) forget about the glasses, but I know that doesn’t always work.
Good luck!
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I agree too. We have a very stubborn 3 1/2 year old. He has been wearing glasses for a little over a year. If we had tried to hold down his arms and force the issue it would have been a disaster. The first month was really rough and he didn’t want to wear them all the time. I have worn glasses for a long time and my husband actually got glasses the same month as my son did. So he was used to seeing them on us. What really helped was getting a pair of fake glasses for his stuffed Mickey. Mickey put his glasses on each day too. It took a few weeks to get the hang of it but suddenly he got it and realized he could see. Now he puts them on first thing in the morning and is unhappy if they are even off long enough to get cleaned.
Hang in there.
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Hi
I am new here and I just wanted to thank everyone who has shared their experiences of finding out their child needs glasses it has been a comfort to know that others have gone through the same emotions. I have only just found out my 4 year old son needs glasses he is longsighted and I have been so upset the last few days which I do realise is silly but I can’t help it but reading through other comments has been some help.
I too would like to know if he is longsighted why does he need to wear glasses all the time and not just for reading/doing schoolwork? I don’t understand (I don’t wear glasses so all very new to me) If anyone can help I would be grateful.
Thank you
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I am new here as well and just found out my 14 month old needs glasses (+6) in both eyes. Thanks for all the wonderful information! I cried on the way home and I am very relieved to have found this site with other parents dealing with this.
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Thank you for all of your testimonies and thank you Ann for this website! It is good to hear I’m not alone. It’s been 3 weeks since we found out our 4 1/2 yr old needed glasses. Good news is he is so excited about them and can’t wait!! When I asked the PO about his Rx the only answer I received was “Well, the boy cant see” After leaving the clinic and looking at his Rx I was in shock! It read +9.75 in both eyes! Now I’m no expert but I have worn glasses since elementary, this just didn’t make sense to me. I am farsighted with astigmatism. Carter has only recently shown signs of not seeing far away but I never suspected he couldn’t see up close. I had so many questions and having seen a Doctor that didn’t communicate did not help! The next day I called back to the dr and asked for some answers. Were they sure he was a +9.75?? That’s when I was told he was actually +11 with a lazy eye and astigmatism. None of this was discussed during the visit. I did ask questions During the visit but the doctor would give vague answers. After researching for 2 days we decided to get a 2nd opinion. The second PO confirmed his Rx was correct but hasn’t seen a child with such a strong rx in 15+ years! Is this right? 15years and my son had one of the strongest rxs he’s seen! I was so grateful to have a doctor to answer my questions but now even more worried about his vision. He said he doesn’t have a lazy eye but wearing the glasses may cause him to develop one. I want my son to see but I don’t want to hurt his eyes. We don’t have his glasses yet, the lab has been working on them for 2 weeks and has had difficulty with the lenses breaking. If all goes well we will have them next week. I thank God that this isn’t something worse but I am so scared! Are these glasses going to be too strong even if they are knocking the Rx down to +9.75? And how do I watch for a lazy eye? Will this be something we will always have to watch for?
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Hi Pamela, and welcome! That is a very strong prescription. I know that kids who are farsighted can often compensate for at least part of their farsightedness, and that makes it very hard for us parents to realize that there’s an issue. I’m confused though, about the statement that his glasses might cause him to develop lazy eye. I haven’t heard of glasses causing lazy eye, it’s usually the opposite, that glasses can help prevent lazy eye. Did the doctor give any explanation of that?
As for watching for lazy eye, I think the best course is to make sure that he is monitored closely – so once his prescription has stabilized, regular eye exams at least every 6 months. Basically, with lazy eye, one eye will see well, while the other one (even with glasses) will not see clearly. So you could also on occasion, while he’s wearing his glasses, have him cover one eye and read letters from far away and up close. If he has difficulty with one eye, then you could call the doctor and see if he could come in sooner. You also want to watch for signs that he tries to cheat in those cases and peek with the eye that’s supposed to be covered. It’s pretty well established that amblyopia (lazy eye) does not develop after age 7 or 8 (interestingly, there’s recent evidence that it can be treated past that age, though). So that won’t be something to worry about forever.
A prescription that high does need to be treated with glasses. They won’t hurt his eyes, but they will help him to see more clearly (both up close and far away).
Good luck, and let us know how things go!
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PAMELA..sounds like a nice doctor but not a very well educated one in changing the script on you once you called? Not good as too strong of a script is harmful to your child’s vision. And the fact that he says that glasses can cause or contribute to lazy eye? They are used to help prevent it and minimize/correct any problems, they do NOT cause them.
No matter how nice he is, before I’d go and fill that script, I’d see someone else. Get the answers you really need, and a certain answer on the script. One that doesn’t change and you can fully trust. That is what I am doing for my only newly turned two baby girl. I am not taking 1 doctor’s word on anything because honestly..she was screaming, bugging out, the lady could hardly see in her eye with the lense for a second. I wouldn’t want to get anything to weak or too strong for my precious. I have just been having an extremely hard time thinking about my child wearing glasses at only 2. She is a twin and extremely active. I have been hoping to hear a mistake, but I really just need the confirmation from one more doc on the script strength and my husband needs to hear it really is a inward turn of the eye, a form of strabismus and not the psuedo kind, though I know time if of the essence.
I’m really heartbroken, and actually a bit jealous of those here who’s childen were older, and got to show thei whole, adorable faces, as little toddlers. I feel like I’m losing part of her face with glasses on at this tender age. She could pass for 15 months 😦 At 4 or 5 it would have been WAY easier for me, and for her, as I don’t predict this working out well. She’s a very tough baby, ornery as is, and like I said active and a twin who loves teating up dad’s glasses. The older the better, but I have no choice:(
Hugs,
Shelly
http://www.twinpossible.com/blog
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PS- I see you saw a second doctor. I’d confirm with a third even and THEN go with it. If he sees better, he will want to wear them. It does sound very strong, that is why I say get one last confirmation on EVERYTHING. GL.
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Hi. My daughter has recently gotten glasses. The dr says she has accommodative estropia. She is 21 months old. She has been wearing her glasses for about a week. Recently however her eyes have been a little watery. And she has been squinting like something is in her eyes. Has Anyone else had that problem ? I know she needed them bc her eyes would turn in occasionally but I don’t understand why they are watery and when she takes the glasses off her eyes turn in even more than before. Any advice would be appreciated. I’m calling dr tomm am but I feel like I’m ruining her eyes:(
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Hi. my newly 24 month old has the same diagnosis. We are going for a second opinion. The turn is so slight most don’t notice it, but the doctor did say that with the glasses, when they come off, we will notice it even more. That broke my heart to think that I’ll be staring at something that will look different to me then what I see now, and like I am doing her more harm then good, but the doctor and my friend and her mom who both had this at a young age but not as young as we are going thru it, all say the same thing…that is normal. Disturbing for me to know before the fact and I understand your pain, but you are NOT ruining her. You are helping her. Just keep on knowing that. I know it hurts as everyday I’m already treating my DD different like ‘let me remember you this way.’ since she doesn’t yet have them.
How is she doing with keeping them on and wearing them? I can’t fathom it. Mine is a twin and the more feisty to boot. VERY FEISTY, and athletic. I’m scared, sad, depressed, angry, pis&ed, lol….I have been through a lot in life and I can’t stand anymore, so pardon my mental breakdown here. BUT again to answer the question…normal. The eye watering part I can not yet answer. I’m sure the eyes do need some adjustment though. Some watering is likely normal, but maybe someone else can better answer you.
What kind of frames did you get her? I’m afraid my DD will break them every single day a new pair, and we are far from rich. The only ones they told us to get are very bold and to me unattractive looking….Miraflex? There must be something durable yet less LOOK AT ME and actually cute out there for young tykes? She’s such a pretty thing, I don’t want her whole face disguised by glasses.
ANYONE?
Hang in there…we’ll be in this together!
Shelly
http://www.twinpossible.com/blog
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Hi all, Shelly, I understand….I’ve had a few breakdowns too. We got the diagnosis of accomodative esotropia on my one year old a month ago. We have not been able to get him to keep them on for more than a few minutes at a time.
The doctor at the Cleveland Clinic gave us an Rx for eye drops that will make him wear his glasses because they will make his eyes more blurry without the glasses and give him more of a “wow factor” when he wears the glasses.
I have a few questions:
1. Has anyone else used these drops?
2. Does anyone else’s LO have a prescription that is not very strong? My LO is farsighted at around +2 each eye. The doctor said his prescription is normal for a one year old, but that we have to try the glasses first before setting up surgery. I think this is why he is not keeping the glasses on.
3. Anyone else’s LO take over a month to wear their glasses? (he’s only one year old.)
Thanks, Beth
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Hi shelly.
I feel the same way:(. She is doing extremely well with them. She asks for them. I did have a really hard time finding something cute for her. I found a opticians office that would actually help me. I went in and looked through catalogs for 3 hours. They ordered a bunch in and let me choose. We chose a purple metal pair with flex . They are expensive even with insurance I paid $150:( the week before we got them we practiced with her sunglasses. It helped her a lot 🙂 good luck
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hi beth,
I was in your same exact shoe two years ago. My daughter was diagnosed at 16mos for AE. and won’t keep her glasses on and with prescb of +1.75 only!! She had surgery on both of her eyes at 2 years of age. and recently gotten another pair of glasses made that’s better fit and strong power +2. she is now 3 years and 5mos and wearing her glasses daily. I think age and prescription power factor are both key to getting her to wear them. after surgery she’s still had a very slight turn and the glasses helps getting them 100%!! I can tell she needs them to see well. even thought she can function without them but she says it makes everything brighter and more clear.
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Hi Jen, thanks for your reply. We’ve been working so hard with the glasses over the past 2 months, and my son (now 14 months old), has shown a lot of improvement with keeping the glasses on. He just had his check-up this week, and the doctor wants to wait 3 months for another check-up to decide if he thinks he needs surgery or not. It’s helpful to know others have been through similar situations. 🙂
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I have a quick question. I know it is normal for pre-schooler’s to have some hyperopia. We just took our son for his Kindergarten check-up (required in Illinois). He tested as +1 in both eyes. The OD recommended glasses for reading. I am doing a lot of reading that states it isn’t necessary unless the eyes are +2 or greater. The rest of the exam was perfectly normal.
Also-we took my 9 year old as well, who has NEVER complained of an issue. He tested at
-0.50 in one eye and -0.75 in the other. Mildy near-sighted. The OD recommended glasses for him as well, but said he was “on the fence”. Opinions?? Thanks…
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Jackie, I would go for a second opinion for both kids. Take a look at this recent paper, that tries to pull together information from a number of studies (I’m working on a post about this, but it’s taking me a while) http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1444-0938.2011.00600.x/full#t2 . I think your kindergartner wouldn’t need glasses unless he is complaining or his eyes are turning. Your older son seems to fall more in the range of recommended to get glasses and may develop a stronger prescription in the future (regardless of whether he gets glasses now).
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Ann-
I appreciate the reply. My husband and I were leaning toward the same thing. Honestly-cost does become a factor with all these second and third opinions! My 5 yr old has no eye issues, esotropia-etc and has never complained. I didn’t mention my 12 year old daughter also walked away with a rx as well last evening.(One eye -.75, other eye +1) A year ago, all our children’s eyes were fine. This was a new OD so I have concerns. That being said, my husband has terrible vision and has worn glass since 4th grade. I also have glasses with eye not terrible at 40 -1.75 bilat. We just want to do what is best. Thanks for you opinion and the article. Jackie
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i am so glad i came acroos this website. the article is wonderful. i blamed myself when i found out my daughter needed glasses at 9 months. i was so afraid about her getting teased by other kids. i knew she would need them eventually because her father and i wear them. we just thought it would be more later than sooner. i still do feel a little guilt, but i keep telling myself it’s for the good. she is my first child and i just don’t want her to have to deal with this mean world. i was wearing contacts and since she has to wear glasses i’m wearing my glasses to support her. thank you so much for this article.
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Welcome Belinda! I’m glad you found this. It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful thing being to supportive of your daughter. If it helps, in her 4 years of wearing glasses, Zoe has only ever had one mean comment, and it wasn’t even that mean (a boy a couple years older than her said to her dad, “want to hear something funny? That baby is wearing glasses.” Both the boy’s father and I explained why she needed them and he was very good about it after that.)
Good luck to you and your daughter and keep us updated.
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Hi Belinda, I wanted to let you know you inspired me to get a new pair of glasses to support my son (1 yr. old) who has recently gotten glasses. I normally wear contacts and had an old pair of glasses to wear at night, but this week, I got a new pair of glasses so I can wear them too. Thank you! 🙂 Ann, I have gotten one mean comment too. Someone asked me if my baby “really wears glasses that young.” People will always be ignorant about some things I guess.
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Glad I came across this site! We noticed our daughter Kendyl (4 1/2) always had to stand right in front of the TV, ALWAYS. I liked to be close when I was younger so I didnt think too much of it, we’d just tell her to scoot back. However, shed just scoot right back up to it and at one point said she couldnt see as well from the couch. Coloring or drawing she’d always be closer to the paper than it seemed she needed to be, so we took her in. Turns out shes farsighted and has an astigmatism in her right eye. It was liitle upsetting, thinking she was going to be wearing glasses the rest of her life, along with all the fears i’ve read other mother have had, but I was positive the whole time (it helped I had a hunch she needed them going into it) We picked out frames together, made it a special trip to the doctors and that it was really exciting she was going to wear glasses. We havent recieved the glasses yet, we get them in a week…. but she seems to be looking forward to it. Im just really nervous how she’ll feel after… She does gymnastics and loves to be wild and crazy. This is not a kid who likes to sit still or not be jumping or rolling around 24/7. How does that work with glasses? And gymnastics? Soccer? I want her to be able to enjoy everything just as much as she did before without wearing glasses being a problem for her….
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just discovered 3 days ago that our beautiful 5yr son is very farsighted +5.5 and +3.5, they also found that he has a slight turn in one eye and so needs glasses and patching. We are completely devastated to say the least, I have cried for 3 days solid. He is a very cute, active little boy and I worry about the huge impact this will have on his life both at home and in school. I picked up his glasses today and was shock at how thick they are even after thinning. I have already made appoint with paediatric opthamologist for second opinion which I am dreading. Like many others here I feel I am mourning the loss of that beautiful little face I have love for 5 years but I want the best result for him. Also I just wanted to ask if it is normal for farsighted people to wear glasses all day, I thought it was just for close work. Great to have a site like this to talk with others, my husband does not understand and feels I am being dramatic so I feel really alone with the issue.
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yes its normal for a child 2 wear glasses for farsighted. my son is 7yrs old. We found out he needed glasses for farsighted 5mths ago. He has perfect vision is his left eye and +3.00 for his right eye. Hes got glasses on full time and is doing great. Once a child notices a difference in his sight wearing glasses, they r happy wearing them. 2 Weeks ago my other son got glasses for farsighted too, but only needs them for working. Im getting my youngest son (hes 2 yrs) tested tomorrow, im praying hes fine. Its really odd, im shortsighted…. all the best to u and ur wonderfully brave lil man 🙂
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Hi Annie, just want you to know you are not alone,I can really relate! My son is 2 (turning 3 at the end of Aug) and we just got him glasses. I was shocked that he needed glasses and really didn’t believe it. On top of the shock, our optometrist gave us such a dismal prognosis, I came home and cried. And like you, my husband didn’t understand and thought I was being ridiculous. I just want it to be able to be fixed and we are being told by our optometrist,it can be, if he wears his glasses. But he will NEVER not need glasses and he will always have eyes that turn in without his glasses. That’s not what I meant by wanting to fix it! However, Benjamin has been wearing his glasses very well for the most part for about a month now and it is nice to see him looking at things and really seeing them. I will continue to be sad at times I am sure and I am seeking a second opinion also. I am going to look into everything possible to see if we can be doing anything else to help his eyes be the best they can be, and that’s all I can do for now. Our biggest struggle now that he has glasses is getting them to fit properly so he is actually looking through them and not over them! Ugh… so many visits for re-adjusting! I will definitely know better next time when I am picking frames. Good luck with your second opinion. In the meantime, with regard to your post below, since your second appt isn’t for 5 weeks, I would definitely call the current prescribing doc about your sons complaints! Hopefully they can get you back in right away to check that out.
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Hi all, I posted here yesterday about my sons new glasses. He puts them on with no problems but soon after is complaining that the glasses are making everything blurry, is this normal. I have a hunch that they may be too strong and now i’m worried about damaging his good eye. I have booked an appointment for paediatric opthalmologist which is in 5 wks. The doctor that gave us the prescription was not a kids specialist.
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so sad! our little Angel 7mths is getting glasses! Her eyes tested +11.5, getting a prescription for +9 to start with…. What will she look like, how thick will those lenses be!? Anyone ever heard of contact lenses for infants?
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Hi Jo! Welcome, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, but happy that you found us! Those will be thick lenses, but depending on the shape, they may not be too bad. Here’s a few pictures of kids with similar prescriptions – http://littlefoureyes.com/2009/12/15/pictures-of-kids-in-glasses-with-a-strong-prescription/, the lenses are thick, but I think it’s less noticeable than you may think when the glasses are actually on. Have you ordered the glasses already? There’s a way of cutting lenses, aspheric, that can make the lenses a bit thinner. It’s worth asking about whether that’s an option.
Many babies who have had cataracts removed do wear contacts. It’s hard to take them in and out, and leads to a lot of lost contacts at that age, but it can be done, and sometimes it’s the best choice.
Good luck! Please let us know how you and your daughter are doing with her glasses when they arrive. I know the sadness that comes with your child getting glasses, but watching them really see and seeing their vision develop makes it a little less painful.
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Hi Ann, Thank you so much for your reply, and your great website! I’ve been on it almost all the time the last couple of days! Roxanne is our third child and we never had any eye issues with the boys, not even one of us. It’s hard to beleive she can hardly see as her developement is so amazing and she grabs things and it looks like she can she everything – she even carries on in waiting rooms till people look at her and then just laughs! I still can’t believe it. She had a squint in the left eye and we had it looked at – and we walked away with much worse news we were expecting.
We have ordered the frames – tomato. Apparently her eye lashes are too long for some of the others (one good thing :)).
Thanks again for your great site!
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This is excellent information! I posted my story on a page about second opinions but thought I would copy it here to introduce myself and my son Benjamin. Our journey with glasses has just begun! I am so glad to have found this site! I love all of the information and stories from others going through this with their children.
My son Benjamin (who will be 3 in August) was prescribed glasses at the end of April. I was devastated. We took him to the eye doctor due to his eyes turning in sometimes (especially the left). In the month before his appointment, it had gotten worse. I went to this appointment expecting to hear that he had a lazy eye and if we patched it would get better. Instead I was told that Benjamin was quite farsighted and that he has to try really hard to focus, which is when/why the eyes turn in. The optometrist told us Benjamin would need glasses and by wearing the glasses, the eyes would hopefully straighten, but only when he had the glasses on. We were told he would always need glasses and without them his eyes would always turn in. I was stunned. This doctor was essentially telling me my 2 and a half year old has this eye problem that we will never be able to fix. So I came home and started searching the internet (found this site among others) and felt hopeful that with time, and growth, Benjamin’s eyes might improve (his current prescription is OD +4 and OS +4.5)
Today we had our first follow-up appointment. I asked more questions and again was met with the same response: his eyes will never improve and will always turn in when not wearing his glasses. I don’t get it! Why is my son never going to be able to outgrow this or straighten his eyes when I have read so many stories about kids improving with age and growth?
According to this doctor Benjamin has partially-accomodative esotropia and from the exam today it appears he has convergence excess (his eyes are now straight with the glasses when seeing far but are still turning in when looking at things close up). Now he apparently might need bi-focals but again this doc says he will never outgrow any of this. (I have also now read that kids that need bi-focals have a good chance of outgrowing that). I am not very happy with the doctors explanation. I am not sure if it is because I am in denial or because he is not telling me what I want to hear, but it just doesn’t sit well with me. Both times I have left his office feeling so sad and sick to my stomach. I know there are a lot worse things than a child needing glasses but I just have such a hard time accepting that we can’t do anything to fix it.
I am going to get a second opinion and will definitely look for a pediatric ophthalmologist. I want so bad to at least have some hope that Benjamin might outgrow at least some of these issues he is now facing.
Sorry for the lengthy story! Glad to have somewhere to go for support!
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Welcome Lisa and thanks for sharing your story! I so relate to your, especially expecting to hear that you need to patch and being so surprised when you learn your child needs glasses. That’s exactly what happened with Zoe. I was upset about her needing glasses, and then felt so guilty for being upset.
As for outgrowing the need for glasses. Based on reading that I did, many young kids who are farsighted will see their prescription initially increase, and then slowly decrease until puberty. Kids with an initial prescription of +3.00 or less are more likely to completely outgrow the need for glasses. I am not a doctor, and obviously haven’t seen Benjamin’s eyes, but I would imagine his prescription may improve, but he may still always need glasses. For comparison, Zoe’s prescription (she’s 5 1/2) is +4.75 in each eye. Her eye doctor has said that because her eyes are starting to stay straight without glasses (her muscles are developed enough now that she can hold them straight), we will start next year to slowly decrease her prescription to see what she’ll tolerate. However, her eye doctor’s best guess is that she’ll always need glasses for farsightedness, just maybe not as strong as they are now.
It sounds to me like a second opinion is a great idea. Even if you get the same news, you’ll hopefully have a better understanding of his situation, and you may find a doctor that you connect with better. I think it is so very important to find a doctor that you can trust and who answers your questions in a way that works well for you.
Good luck! This is a really hard time, here at the beginning of needing glasses. It generally gets easier from here on out. Please keep us updated!
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Thanks Ann! I know about the feeling upset then feeling guilty… me too. The optometrist did say his eyes were too bad to outgrow this but I have been told by others that their kids outgrew with a worse prescription than Benjamin. And I know he doesn’t have a crystal ball and can’t tell me he will outgrow, but he wasn’t even willing to offer up the hope that he might. Also, at this point, I would be happy to just hear that his chances of a lesser prescription is good and that as his eyes grow he will need to accomodate less and the turning in will improve or go away. My optometrist is adament that Benjamin’s eyes will always turn in even as an adult, no matter what we do or don’t do. I don’t want to accept
that 😦 Just curious, did you patch at all to help strenghten Zoe’s eyes or did they just get stronger with age and time? Also, were Zoe’s eyes always turned in or just sometimes? Benjamin’s were just sometimes and it was only over the past few months that the left one got progressively worse. I am so torn up about all of this and about how I feel about it! I am definitely getting the second opinion and will keep updating through the process!
Thanks again for the support 🙂
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Zoe’s eyes started out just occasionally turning in at around 8 months. We took her in, and the ophthalmologist had us wait, because it was very occasional. She actually stopped crossing her eyes for a few months, and then right around when she turned one, it started turning in a lot. Since we couldn’t get in right away for an appointment, the ophthalmologist looked at pictures we’d sent, and had us patch one eye for 2 hours a week. But when we got in to the appointment, they found that both of her eyes were being used equally, so we stopped patching and just got glasses. The glasses helped her eyes to straighten a little, but even with them on, her eyes still crossed. We tried two more progressively stronger prescriptions and then the ophthalmologist said that we were at the point where a stronger prescription wouldn’t do anything to correct the eye turn that was happening when she wore glasses. So we scheduled surgery, and she had the surgery at 22 months to correct only the eye turn that was still present while she wore glasses. At the follow-up from that, we found that we had been over-correcting, and we dropped her prescription down to +4.75. Her eyes would still cross when we took her glasses off, but, they have stayed nice and straight with her glasses on, and as I mentioned, she’s recently been able to hold them straight without her glasses on. At around 4 years old, she developed mild amblyopia, and we did patch then for 4 hours a day for about 3 months. That seems to have corrected her amblyopia. She did also develop an astigmatism last year, so we added that to her prescription, but otherwise, I think (it’s hard to remember all the prescription changes in 4 years) her prescription has stayed pretty stable. So I’m thrilled that we might get to drop it a bit in the coming year.
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Wow Ann, what a journey. Thanks for sharing your story, I am sure you must have had to tell it many times before. I will be thinking of Zoe and hoping for the best in this coming year for her! Surgery is another thing my optometrist said was not an option. I have heard mixed reviews about it so far but it seems to have worked for Zoe. Ugh… I guess I just have to wait for the second opinion and go from there. Our family doc was able to get us in tomorrow so hopefully the referral process for a PO will be speedy!
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Hi, what an amazing site. Just found out my 4 year old has extreme astigmatism, his current prescription is Right Sph -0.50 Cyl +6.00 Axis 95
Left Sph -1.00 Cyl +7.00 Axis 90
Have been through an entire roller coaster of emotions ranging from guilt, anger, worry about the present teasing, adjusting, lazy eye, squinting ect, worry about future will it improve, will he need surgery, long term effects ect. After watching a simulation of how my Ray sees the world I am finding it unbearable, how could i have missed this, have not stopped crying all week. After reading these posts, i applaud how the other parents are coping even when some are in more dire situations.
As we are moving county within the next few weeks, and the refferal process will have to be started from scratch again the head Optometrist we have seen has decided on a full correction prescription warning about all the side effects of such a drastic change for my little boy e.g headaches, vomiting, nausea, imbalance ect, am not sure about this decision but she has assured me it will be best in the long run, and also to expect many more visits to the Ophthalmology Department over the coming years. I would love to hear from any other parents who have already gone through this process, or can shed some light on what to expect over the time much appreciated.
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I’m so pleased to have found this site! We just got the news yesterday that our 20 month old daughter has Accommodative Esotropia. She is farsighted and her left eye is a +8, her right is a +5 I believe. The numbers are a little scary, I feel like it means her vision is very poor. It was really wonderful to read the blog posts and comments from other parents, and help validate some of the emotions I was having. I was feeling sad, and scared, and then people were telling me, ‘it’s only glasses’ so I started feeling like I was over-reacting. But it’s good to know all these emotions are normal, and it is a big deal to all of us parents who go through it, even if for others it is not. Thank you so much!
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I’m glad you found us! It is overwhelming, and not many people really understand all the different emotions we go through with this. Good luck and let us know how things go with your daughter and her glasses!
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Hi all, I yesterday found that my 19 months old son vihan needs glasses to wear +6.5 for left and +4.5 for right eye. He actuall had started showing squinting eyes so we took him to paediatric opthamologist. Dr prescribed him for glasses and to conduct ERG for some suspected spots in his eye. I don’t know what to do dr says right now it’s difficult to say about vision, n we need to see a doc every 3 months or so? R we late ? Will the vision deteriorate further ? Pls suggest”……
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Hi Anuj, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I don’t know about the suspected spots in his eyes, but I’m glad his doctor is looking in to that. Otherwise, it’s very common to have a doctor’s appointment every 3 months in the beginning until your son’s vision and prescription have stabilized. I don’t think you’re too late at all! It’s fantastic that you caught it as soon as you did. Best of luck to you and your son!
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This is such a fab website I have struggling with the fact my daughter needs glasses and we picked them up today and she refuses to even try them but it is nice to know I am not the only one
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Welcome Leigh-Ann. It’s so normal, both to struggle with your child getting glasses, and to get them to wear them. Just stay consistent and positive, and hopefully each day will be a little bit better for her and her glasses! (And yes, you are absolutely not the only one to have your child refuse their glasses).
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I have a history of very poor sight (+8 and +10) and i began wearing ‘coke bottle’ glasses at aged 3. Today I took my 3 year old daughter to get a random eye check just to make sure everything was fine – I hadn’t noticed any issues, it was more about my history. I am completely devastated because I was told my little girl is +4, +4.5 long sighted with astigmatism. I am devastated because my childhood was crap. I grew up with these very thick glasses and I was bullied all the way through primary and secondary school. I’ve had surgery to correct my vision now but I still get upset when I think of what I went through. I am devastated that my beautiful little girl might experience the same thing. I know it’s silly, I know things have changed and with her nature she will be fine. I just feel so responsible and I just can’t comprehend her having to experience even an iota of what I did. I am so sad!!! I just wanted so much more for her. My biggest thing will be making sure that my past doesn’t dictate how I mother her in this situation. My head says grow up, it’s not a big thing. My heart is broken!
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I am so, so sorry you’re going through this and that it’s bringing up such bad memories from your childhood, and I’m so so sorry that you were bullied because of your glasses. I think one of the hardest things as parents is watching our children go through some of the difficult things we’ve been through, unable to really protect them. Don’t sell yourself short here, this is hard enough on those of us that don’t have your history. It’s ok to be upset and sad, and then do what needs to be done to make sure she can see. It sounds like you’re doing the right thing.
If it helps, I think glasses for children are far nicer, thinner, and better-looking. That’s partly because more kids are being diagnosed as needing glasses, and so more kids are wearing glasses. I think that’s led to much less incidence of kids being teased about their glasses, though I am certain that still happens to some extent. Kids are also moving to contacts earlier (if they’re ready for them) so that can be an option for your daughter when she’s a bit older.
Please let us know how things go! You might also want to join our facebook group if you’re on fb, it’s an amazingly supportive group.
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Thanks for your replay Ann. It is my issues coming up from my past – not my daughters at all and it doesn’t have to be my future. I just have to deal with it and move on. The last thing I want to do is put my experiences onto her… I will join the FB page – thank you.
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This has been a really useful & reassuring read… My 2.5 year old was found to have poor vision yesterday… This has been really helpful. Thank you
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Thank you this is so helpful and I dont feel alone in this. Im trying my best to find the best place to get glasses. this is new and scary but glad there is this webstie!!
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I found this really helpful. My daughter is 18 months and has just started wearing glasses. I made the mistake of sticking to one Opticians on a loyalty bases as a family member works there and went for the best suited glasses they have. Now shes wearing them with very little trouble with regards to taking them off but i dont like them i think they look slightly to big for her face and the color isn’t what i remember. I regret not shopping around and taking my time. Does anyone know if I can change them elsewhere?. Thank you.
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hello! i just wanted to thank you all for your comments, I found out last week, my 18 month old baby needs glasses, So far I being taking advantage of your experiences, got rid of the guilt, bought to par of glasses and I have a plan in place to let my son get use to the glasses, I will keep you posted…..thxs again.
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Hello everyone,
I was not sure how to control my emotions in front of my 5 year old angel (her name is Komal) when the doctor said that my angel’s eye sight is weak. The doctor suggested glasses with -10 (left) and -7 (right). First I didn’t know what these number mean. Then after a quick discussion with the doctor I came to know that these numbers are too big for a 5 year old kid.
She has chosen a frame and I will get the glasses ready for my angel in a day or two.
I am worried for my daughter and I am just wondering if she can get rid of these glasses in future or not.
Can someone please let me know if there is a treatment that can remove my angel’s glasses?
Please, I would really appreciate if there is an expert on this site who can tell me what should I do next?
The doctor also said that my daughter can go through a laser surgery however that can be done once she is 19-20 years old. Should I just wait for the right time to come or are there any suggestions.
God bless you all…..:)
Thanks, Kamlesh
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I just wanted to thank you for starting (and maintaining!) this great site! We just found out a few weeks ago that our 5-year-old needed glasses after his first visit to the optometrist and we were shocked. Although the optometrist told me not to feel bad that we didn’t pick this up, it has been REALLY helpful to read through the info and posts here to know that we are certainly not the only parents to not have known that our child needed glasses! We picked out his frames (thank goodness we found Spiderman ones) and he got his glasses 2 days ago. We were told by the optician at the store to have him wear the glasses for 2 hours the first day, then 4 hours, then 6 etc. So our plan is that by Monday he will wear them to school for the first time. He had a friend over to play after school today and refused to wear them in front of his friend so I am really worried about how he will handle wearing them at school. Anyone have suggestions for how to handle the school adjustment? what to tell his teachers? they already have the heads up that he will be coming in glasses on Monday, but more just wondering if I should suggest anything to the teacher about how to handle issues that might come up (not that I know the answers)!
Thanks again!
Andrea
P.S. there are many great pictures of kids wearing glasses on this site, but it would be nice to see some older kids too! I will send one along of our son if I can get him to smile with the glasses on 🙂
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Thanks Andrea, and welcome! How is your son doing with his glasses at school?
You’re right, we have more of the younger kids. Please do send in a picture of your son, and I’ll post an updated one of Zoe to the gallery, too and see if we can get some more older kids in to our gallery.
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I have a question, at the beginning of the school year we found out that my 5 year old son needed glasses. We really liked the doctor and went ahead and ordered the glasses. A week later I had my eyes checked by the same optometrist and didn’t care for what he had to say in response to my eyes and chose to get a second opinion on both, mine and my son’s eyes. We chose to go with an optometrist that was recommended by several people. Now this is where my question comes in. The new doctor said that my son is nearsighted and that his prescription should be stronger but said that if it where him, yes my son would see things a little blurry, he wouldn’t get the glasses. Then he asked about my insurance and said we could get them but went back to saying that he wouldn’t when I told him that his office didn’t take my insurance. I don’t care how much it costs if my son can see and function well in school. Also his teacher said that she noticed that my son didn’t say he couldn’t see anymore after getting the glasses. When we left I asked the receptionist for mine (he did end up prescribing me glasses) and my son’s prescription and she said that she had mine but not my son’s. Has anyone else had this problem with an eye doctor? Should I go to yet another doctor?
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Wow, I think I’d probably go get one more opinion. I don’t buy that he’s nearsighted but that he shouldn’t wear glasses – unless it’s an extremely mild prescription. Strange that the doctor didn’t give you his prescription, either. Let me know what you end up doing – and good luck!
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Well I called this morning to yet other optometrist in our area (we are really limited on doctors around here and no pedi specialists close) and it looks like I am going in today for yet a third opinion. In some ways I feel as if I am making him go through unnecessary tests and spending more money than needed but I feel that if his world is blurry shouldn’t he see it clearly? And if the teacher notices a difference than shouldn’t that say something also? And if its going to get worse than shouldn’t we start trying to correct it or get him used to glasses now? I don’t know if I’m right or wrong or being an over protective mother or what. But I am taking him in yet again. This will be the third visit this week (they had to split the 2nd opinion visit into 2 visits because it got to late.) My husband feels the same way I do and hey its only money right lol. But maybe I can get some answers today.
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Ok so we are home from the eye doctor and getting new glasses. The third and final doctor said that my son did need glasses (Ty couldn’t read the letters without the prescription in) he is nearsighted and he does have astigmatism. Which kind of confirms what the second doctor said about his eyes. The third said that he understood why I went to three doctors. He said that if Ty didn’t have the combo of nearsightedness and astigmatism then it would be a preference thing as to if he had to have glasses or not. He also told us that he has to wear his glasses 24/7 instead of only at school or when we feel it necessary. Which now has me wondering if I missed the signs last year when Ty was so excited to participate in sports but when time came to practice or play his enthusiasm after the first practice was gone. Could he even see the ball? I’m trying not to go down that path of what ifs and deal with the here and now. I just wonder why it took 3 doctors to find out what he really needed! Its aggravating and has cost more money than should have (not that I care about the money but it would have been nice to get it right the first time). I now have to go back to the original doctor and see if they will retract the original claim with the insurance and get the lenses corrected on the frames we originally started out with and got from the insurance (they only cover 1 eye exam and 1 frames/lenses per year). (I am NOT looking forward to that conversation!) I am getting the second doctor’s prescription (hopefully) Monday and can take my son back to the place we got his prescription filled and they will see which one he sees better with and not charge me if it needs to be changed (I’m thinking I’ll stick with the third doctor’s script but after everything we have been through I feel as if we should check). With the first pair of glasses he had them off and on all the time. So far with the new prescription he hasn’t even mentioned taking them off and has remarked several times that he can see different things that he didn’t notice before. I feel confident in this last doctor that he got it right and he also made sure to reassure me that I was not crazy for having a third opinion, my son was having problems, I did have a right to worry about his vision with school and that often undiagnosed vision problems can lead to misdiagnosed behavioral, social and/or scholastic problems. He also told me that most likely his will need to have stronger glasses for the rest of his life and that if a 7 or 8 year old came in with the same eyes he would still give them the prescription. Ty’s prescription is OD: -0.25 -1.00 102 OS: -0.25 -1.25 076 he started with a plano -0.75 90 in both eyes at the end of August this year.
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Thanks for the update, I’m glad you saw the third doctor! Please don’t get too lost in the what-ifs. It may have played a role, but it’s also possible that his eyesight changed pretty quickly (that happens with these kids that are growing so correctly), and you’re awesome for being so vigilant about his eyesight, and his eye doctor is right – poor eyesight is very closely tied to academic and behavior problems – makes sense that if you’re having trouble seeing, you’re going to have trouble paying attention in school. Best of luck to you and your son! I hope the conversations with the doctors and insurance go well!
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Nice to see if not the only one who got three opinions. I felt alone. Although, I’m still confused on who to go with.
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I felt alone to and it still gets brought up occasionally of why did I take him to 3 drs. How different are the prescriptions and what the drs said? For me the last two prescriptions were closer than the first but the last dr really listened to me and he then showed both my son and I that he did need glasses. My son leaves his glasses alone now and he requests them when he wakes up in the morning. For me I went with the one who listened to everything I had to say and didn’t dismiss me as an over worried parent and also my gut. I say go with that and if your still not comfortable go to a fourth opinion I would have if I had needed to. My son acts better in school and pays attention when his glasses are on and we don’t have as many break downs over homework either. Hope that helps
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Hello ladies! So glad I found this website. I am a first time mom of fraternal twin girls that are almost 10 months and my Olivia is very nearsighted with astigmatism and some crossing but it I was the only one who noticed the crossing. I will share my roller coaster of emotions in a future post since this is the beginning of a new “life chapter” but right now I am in desperate need to know how to get a baby to keep the glasses on. She will wear for 15 min tops if she is setting on me playing but the moment she does free play she pulls them off. The optician at the pediatric ophthalmologist office suggest these Pez frames which are super cute buttttttt…..they were expensive and my little girl is rough when she plays. Were these frames the right choice????? I mentioned the Miraflex type frames and the optician was so against them, she even said the look too much like goggles. I’m not sure what to do….please help! I would love to hear from moms with babies this young. Thanks in advance!!!!
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Welcome LadyTree! I think at that age, it’s really a matter of staying consistent and just putting her glasses back on again and again, even though it feels like that’s all you do every day. It does start to get better. Just know that it’s normal for young kids that age to take off their glasses, especially if they’re bored or if they notice the strange glasses on their face. It took my daughter (who was 14 months) about 2 weeks to get used to them.
As for the frames, a lot of parents will tell you how much they love Miraflex. I would give her current glasses a few weeks to see if she settles in to them, but you could also get a pair of Miraflex (or similar soft frames) and have them as a back-up pair, and if your Olivia likes them better, then they can be her main pair and her Pez frames can be there as back up.
Good luck and keep us updated
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Seriously this website is incredible! It is inspiring, comforting and seriously is a blessing. My daughter just got glasses 2 weeks ago and is 15 months! It was like the words were EXACTLY how I was feeling about everything! She has done awesome with her glasses so far and I am so grateful to hear about others with little ones that have glasses!!! I have felt so alone since no one I know has a baby with glasses and I will never forget that dreadful appointment when the doctor told me she needed glasses. I was shocked, sad, and angry. We are both doing better now and my husband and I just enjoyed all the ADORABLE pictures of the cute little ones in glasses! Thanks for the support, encouragement and showing us that it will be okay!!!!! Will def be checking in again 🙂
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This site has been so helpful. I was wondering if anyone could help me with a concern of mine. My LO has been wearing glasses now for 3 months she 22 Months. We have luckily had no trouble in regards to her keeping them on. Shes +6 in her right eye. My question is, What tell tale signs should I look out for if that lens is now to strong or weak for her. The last week i have noticed she has became slightly clumsy bumping her head a lot tripping over and also she has started to occasionally taking off her glasses. I’m waiting on a follow up appointment from the hospital but have learned in the last 10 months that its not a quick process. If anyone could help I would be very grateful.
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Hi Coral! Glad it’s been helpful. For us, we noticed Zoe’s eyes turning, and later we noticed that she would look through the outside edge of her glasses, rather than straight through. Other people have noticed their child will refuse to wear their glasses anymore, though sometimes, that’s just a consequence of them being a toddler 🙂 .
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My son wants no part of wearing his glasses. Thanks for the ideas.
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I’m sorry! How old is your son, and how long has he had his glasses? It’s very common for kids to not want to wear their glasses at first. I hope it gets better quickly!
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Sorry had to repost please reply to this post- ****** I am lost. Age 3 I was told my daughter may need reading glasses, six months later her left eye started to turn in. 1st optometrist orders a mild prescription glasses for hyperopia and astigmatism. The eye turned in worse, I seek a second optometrist he prescribes od +4.50 and os +5.50. Now, confused I seek my physicians advice. He sends me to children’s hospital to see an opthomologist who diagnoses her with Anisometropia, amblyopia and strabismus and agrees with optometrist number two. She wants to put her in high powered lenses, if the eye still turns then patching and less
Ikely surgery. I call optometrist number one as I bought glasses from him a few months earlier. He disagrees with that approach and wants to increase the prescription a little at a time. He said its like giving a person with a headache 4 Tylenol when 1 may work. I’m so confused, what should I do?
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If it were me, I would defer to the judgement of the Ophthalmologist. The (maximum) prescription and aggressive patching to correct vision is the course i would take
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Hi Tina, That’s a pretty common divide in prescribing philosophies. Some doctors like to underprescribe glasses so that kids get used to wearing glasses first and then up the prescription, others prefer to start kids at full prescription and then adjust as need be. I believe both ways can work.
The down side of starting with a lower prescription is that you’re likely to see a lot of prescription changes in the first couple of years with glasses, and that can get costly. Also, since your daughter’s eye is turning, what you really want is to make sure her eyes are straight to encourage her brain to use both eyes together. When the eyes are turned, the brain will often suppress the image from one eye so that it isn’t seeing double, that’s what leads to amblyopia, which it sounds like has started developing. If you start with a lower prescription, it’s likely it won’t completely resolve the eye turn, and so your daughter is going longer without the benefit of aligned eyes.
The down side of starting with the full prescription is that it can sometimes be harder for kids to get used to a full prescription, and may not want to wear their glasses right away. But most kids do get used to them in a couple of weeks.
Since you’ve had 3 opinions, I’d go with the two that agree. I don’t agree with the first eye doctor that prescribing a full prescription is like giving too many tylenol. There’s not an “overdose” concern. If the prescription is too high, she won’t see well, but it’s not going to cause her physical harm, and an incorrect prescription should be caught at follow up appointments. It’s likely that over the next 10 or so years, her prescription will change, possibly going up at first, and then much more likely decreasing a bit.
Best of luck!
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I am lost. Age 3 I was told my daughter may need reading glasses, six months later her left eye started to turn in. 1st optometrist orders a mild prescription glasses for hyperopia and astigmatism. The eye turned in worse, I seek a second optometrist he prescribes od +4.50 and os +5.50. Now, confused I seek my physicians advice. He sends me to children’s hospital to see an opthomologist who diagnoses her with Anisometropia, amblyopia and strabismus and agrees with optometrist number two. She wants to put her in high powered lenses, if the eye still turns then patching and less
Ikely surgery. I call optometrist number one as I bought glasses from him a few months earlier. He disagrees with that approach and wants to increase the prescription a little at a time. He said its like giving a person with a headache 4 Tylenol when 1 may work. I’m so confused, what should I do?
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Do u think she would get headaches etc from such a strong prescription, scared she won’t tolerate it well. And I wonder if I did go with a little less strength and it stopped the eye turn would that be as good?
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The main point of the prescription is to stop the eye turn and to equalize the vision between the two eyes so that the brain uses the two images together, and so that she doesn’t get eye strain. So if the lower prescription does that, then I would think that’s fine. It isn’t uncommon to start with a slightly lower prescription, but in nearly every case I’ve heard of, and in the studies I’ve read, the eye doctors then up the prescription to the full strength over that first year, so you’d probably still end up with her in the full prescription.
I think it’s likely that any prescription she gets, she’ll initially not want to wear her glasses (though there are kids that really surprise us and take to their prescription very well), but she’ll get used to the prescription.
You mentioned that you talked with the first eye doctor about the higher prescription, and he likened it to giving too much tylenol, which I mentioned before, I completely disagree with. Have you asked the ophthalmologist about his or her thoughts on starting with a slightly lower prescription?
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No, we were at cheo in Ottawa yesterday and I asked quite a few questions but I’m kicking myself for not asking that question. I honestly didn’t think. I’ll be honest here, I was
bullied as a kid. I’m terrified this high prescription even in high index lenses will give her coke bottle glasses and she will get bullied when she starts school. Her eye health will always come first, but I pray for a happy medium. I also fear that I’ll choose wrong. She’s a sensitive girl, extremely aware of her feelings and others feelings. Wise beyond her years.
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Oh, I get that fear, I’m afraid of bullying for Zoe, too. For what it’s worth, glasses with the high index lenses really are thin and not coke-bottle like at all.
Here’s a picture of Zoe in +5.75 and +6.00 lenses. She was 2 1/2 in the picture, she’s 6 years old now, and her prescription is down to +4.75 in both eyes, and I really don’t notice much distortion around her eyes, though I’m obviously very used to her glasses now. (click to see a bigger version)
And here’s those same glasses from the side:
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She may, she may not. It’s hard to say, i personally would say no… A lesser prescritpion may stop the eye turn, but eventually you will need the full correction.
As to your other concern below..about bullying. Children don’t see the glasses..or the patch…just the child. Sure, inquisitive at first ‘what’s that?” “whay are you wearing it” and that sort of thing…. but that usually gives way to ..let’s play. My son wore both high prescription lenses and patched… each day every day…all through day care, kindergarten, and now 1st grade.. Sure, there were days where he didnt want to, maybe was a little self conscious, but never because someone among his peers made him uncomfortable…
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You know George I’m sure your right. I haven’t heard any rude comments from children yet. Even when she’s swimming at the pool with glasses off and her left eye is attached to her nose. It’s the adults that have made inappropriate comments. One friend actually said “omg what the heck is that” and jumped back. It hurt me to the core. I don’t think my daughter realized he was talking about her. I think the bullies start at an older age when they are more aware of what is “different”. So I should probably cancel this appointment with the first optometrist? I wonder though what he was going to prove to me? Probably like you said, to only correct the eye turn. I’m sure if I went against childrens hospital they wouldn’t be to pleased with me.
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Who cares what children’s hospital thinks…if they’re going to react negatively to your decision…they dont deserve your patronage. Do what you believe is best for your child…if that means childrens hospital or not..
It’s ultimately your call. I personally would defer to the ophthalmologists recommendation. alternately another opinion from another ophthalmologist may help you make a decision..
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You brought tears to my eyes, your daughter is beautiful. I think I needed that example, to make me understand. What an overwhelming time this is for us. Would you also go with the opthomologist? I’m afraid if I don’t comply that when I see them in march it will push things back. Maybe I should just do what they say. My optometrist (the first dr) wants me to come in Monday so he can “prove” to me she doesn’t need that high strength. Not sure how he intends to do that. I also worry he will want to dilate her eyes again which she has already had done to her two times in the past month or so. I don’t want to make her fearful of her eye drs.
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Thanks, I certainly think she’s beautiful 🙂
Do any of the eye doctors specialize in pediatrics? I’m guessing the ophthalmologist does because she’s at a children’s hospital. I would be inclined to go with the ophthalmologist if that’s the case. To me, it sounds like you’ve done the due diligence and sought out additional opinions, and you have two that agree, and those opinions sound like very solid opinions that are not out of the ordinary in any way. So I’d go with one of those.
It’s definitely overwhelming, but it does get much less overwhelming as time goes on. Good luck and keep us updated on how things go.
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Thank you Ann z and georgeb for your help. I am going to listen to cheo. I took my daughter today to get her new lenses. I found Nikon ones that are high index super pricey but well worth it in my opinion. Now I’ve been told when she goes back to cheo we may start patching? Anyone else go through this? Is this something that is done for months? She starts school in sept next year.
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Hello Everyone,
Just two weeks ago I was so excited to travel to my hometown abroad to spent Xmas time with my family and friends. Although I am financially not ok at the moment to spent for holidays, something inside was telling me: go!
To go and to incidentally discover that my 6 year old daughter has eyes problem. I feel so guilty that I have never visit any optician for a simple vision test before.
If not an accident that happened to Livia I would never knew that she can not see on her left eye. She was hit by her friend by hard ice ball on her eyes and immediately taken to the hospital in order to remove an ice from one of her eye and then first vision test was taken then.
The diagnosis is that Livia’s left eye need +6.25 and right eye +1.00 lenses.
I know that sound stupid but I have no idea where to start as I was told outside the UK that she needs to get orthotic rehabilitation.
Should I start from our GP?
Kind regards,
Joanna
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Yep, I would definately go to your GP first and she/he will arrange everything. And don’t feel bad, we do so much for our kids and we do our best. Now you know and now you will do everything you can to improve this. I didnt find out my daughter had a similar issue untill a few months ago and I was beating myself up about it. The people on this website really helped me. My daughter needs +5.50 on the left and +3.50 on the right. She was diagnosed with Amblyopia, Strabismus, Anisometropia, Hyperopia and Astigmatism. First step for me was the optomotrist who prescribed glasses a very mild prescription. I noticed an eye turn and got a second opinion that was very differant so I went to my GP who sent us to a children’s hospital. My daughter was given a strong prescription and I was affraid of her getting teased. I did research and found amazing lenses from Nikon that are the thinest you can find to my knowledge (high index) they are amazing, they dont look like coke bottles and they are durable. We have had them for months now and not one scratch and my daughter just turned four! If you need to talk I can give you my e-mail address?
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Thank you Tina for your reply. I do apologize for late response. I just want to say thank you for the advice. I went to optician and my daughter has her first glasses. Before she got them, another vision test was done (she wears eye patch on every day basis for 2 hours since December 2012) and her vision has improved after a few weeks (Jan/Feb 2013). So Livia wears lenses: left eye +2.75 (so happy of this) and +0.50 (so happy too). And then another eyesight test was done in March 2013 and optician suggested that they might change lenses in July because Livia’s vision gets better. I am so happy that my daughter has never missed one day with her eye occlusion since 26 December 2012 and still curry on having good fun. She loves picking her eye patch or even creating her own by using her colored stickers and putting on a white eye patch or just drawing pictured on it.
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Hi Joanna, wow that’s great news! My daughter started occlusion therapy 10 hours a day, in June her vision was 80/20 and now she is 40/20 and can see some 30/20. After 4 weeks she is down to 4 hours of occlusion therapy. We go back to CHEO in two months and if her eye keeps turning surgery is the next step. Here is hoping we can avoid that. I found the best patches ever, they are reusable and my daughter loves them. Let me know if you want any info. : ) Happy to hear about your daughters progress!
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Sorry for an error.
I meant: orthoptic rehabilitation.
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hi, i noticed a slight turn in my daughters right eye in october, she is almost 5 and started school in September. I took her to the optitions who couldn’t see anything but i was so sure i could see something he refered her to an eye speacialist, The referal took 8 weeks but during that time i noticed it was getting worse and even thought i had mistaken it as i now thought it was her left eye. When i picked her up from school for her appointment the teacher mentioned her eyes to me i told her i was unsure which eye it was and i know that sounds strange but sometimes she would look at me and i would be adiment it was her right, The teacher agreed and said she thought the same. I took her for the appointment with the eye speacialist this week, she said it was both eyes but mainly her left, she thought her vision would be weaker in the left eye but after she had drops in her eyes she was tested and both her eyes were equal 1.50+ sph (i don’t even know what this means). She has been given glasses and has 3 months to settle in them before she is reasessed. They will reasess to see if a patch will improve her vision. But i have noticed her looking over them alot and looking at things with them on and then taking them off to see it better. i am just so confused with all of this, i don’t know what to do for the best. Will a patch help or not? should i continue with the glasses for 3 months even though she seems to be stuggling with them on? please any advise would be great.
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Gemma, good for you for sticking with your intuition. I think you should stick with the glasses. I spoke with my daughter who just turned four and explained to her that for her eyes to get better she had to look through them not over, I explained she was only to take them off for bed, bath and swimming and they were to only go in her plush hippo glasses holder or in the hand of an adult. I praise her about the great job she is doing. A few times I took her out on a “date” to celebrate the great job she was doing. (we went to an esthetics school for cheap pedicures). At Christmas her elf on a shelf wrote her a letter about how proud he was too. I swear at 4 (just turned jan 6) we have zero problems with compliance now. I’ve even heard her say to a little girl that was being rough “be careful, these glasses are expensive” lol. I tell her how cool she looks and she knows it now too.
Now, it’s important to stick with the glasses. With such a mild prescription, she may over time not need the correction at all. I tossed around the idea of trying patching before the doctor said and decided to call. He told me that they always try glasses first to see if it will improve vision and correct the eye turn, it takes time. At reassessment time they will decide if patching is needed and if so for how long 2 hrs a day or more etc… I understand how hard it is to wait, we have been going through this since June and my daughter was originally put in a +1(something) by optometrist number 1, +3.5 by optometrist number two and finally +3.50 for the right eye and +5.50 in the left by the opthomologist at CHEO. I was so confused until I started doing my own research. I finally see the eye turn stop when the glasses are on, but as soon as they are off her left eye sticks to her nose. Patching will be next for us too. Just know you are not alone. Feel free to email me anytime, which I can provide you with.
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Hello everyone!
I was so happy to find this website. My son who is almost 11 months old has been wearing glasses now for about two months. At six months his doctor noticed his eyes misaligning so we have been seeing a specialist ever since. We found out that he is also farsighted as well. We just had a recent visit and our opthamologist told us things aren’t looking better and both of his eyes drift outward very frequently, which I do notice alot myself. We have started patching one hour a day to try to force one eye to do all the work and have to wait for two more months t go back. We have discussed surgery as this may be the only way to correct his eyes. I guess I am looking for any advice or inspiring words to help me get through this. The scary part is is our opthamologist mentioned thinking about a brain scan to see if it could be neurological or just his eye muscles. Has anyone else been told this as well? Waiting is soo hard so its nice to know I can come here and talk with other parents who have similar experiences.
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Hello Hather
Sorry to listen!
My son is now 25 months old and is wering glasses +4.5 now for moer than 6 months.
This all started when we started noticing squint in his eyes. We consulted 3 pediatric ophthamologists here in India. All of them suggested the same thing to go for glaasses only and surgery was ruled out. As you mentioned about neurological condition i also read about it but here we were told its very difficult to find out the real cause of squint whether it is because of weakness of eye muscles or because of some nerves problems. But we are continuing with the glasses with the checkups every three months. I dont know if it is OK …….
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I have 3 daughter’s 4, 2 and 11 months. All three of my daughter’s wear glasses. Two of my children have amblyopia and strabismus. It’s been really hard on me that all three of my beautiful girls have to wear glasses. It’s hard to believe that not one of them have good eye sight. Such a strange thing. Anyways hopefully soon I can start to feel better about this but I can’t help but feel like I’ve done something wrong and just feel so sad that they are so young and already have all these eye problems. I’m certainly grateful that it’s just glasses and not some horrible disease.
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Chelsea, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. My 4 year old has amblyopia and strabismus, I’m taking my baby to get his eyes checked out and I’m terrified. Poor little guy has been having seizures and we are already coping with this. Having children comes with the most intense feelings huh. The happiest and saddest I’ve ever been. I too have those thoughts, what did I do wrong? But, we can’t go there. We have to accept what has happened and move forward or we will drive ourselves crazy. And through this website we have each other to lean on. You are not alone. I hope your girls improve with time, I’m sure they will. I was actually hiding my daughters diagnosis from people because I didn’t want them to stare at her. But, when I opened up to my family I found out eight people suffered from the exact same thing. Of the eight only one has eye issues today. But, the one person that is still affected is in his late seventies and they didn’t have access to the treatments we have today. Best wishes
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Tina thank you so much for your reply, im still struggling to come to terms that she needs the glasss but it’s getting a little easier every day. i have done quite alot of research and found another website that says surgery is an option to strenghthen the muscle but im just going to see how she gets on with her glasses for now. My biggest worry was how she would get on at school and if the other children would say something to her but she is doing great and she has the same glasses as another little girl in her class and her teacher told them both they could be twins, she was made up with that comment hahaha. i will keep you posted with how she gets on with her other appointments and it would be nice to know how your little girl gets on. Thank you again for your reply. x
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No problem Gemma! Like you I’m always researching seeing what I can do. One website was speaking about kids that need glasses to correct an eye turn. It said it took 3-6 months of ful time glasses wearing for 27% to see correction, 6-8 months for 48% and as the months went on the numbers obviously increased. It was good for me to see it takes time because I was getting frustrated.
update: my daughters eye turn is corrected with her glasses on. The new higher prescription works amazing. As soon as the glasses come off her eye touches her nose . We go back to cheo in march, they said we would be doing patching. So in the mean time I bought a reusable patch that a good friend recommended (the perfect patch) bought it on line a d took about 2 wks to arrive, super cute. Having her “practice” 30 mins a day to see if she will keep it on or if we will ask for atropine. Today will be her first trial, but I’m optimistic.
And to the parents who feel guilt, I thought I’d share a little story. When my daughter turned three she said “look mom I can do crazy eyes”. She would cross her eyes now and then and I’d laugh. About a month later when she would do it I noticed when she would straighten them, the left eye would stick to the nose and slowly turn back. I thought she had amazing control (like some people that can bend crazy etc) so u took a picture of how “talented” she was. When I realized months later this was a condition I felt like mother of the year. Live and learn I guess.
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I’ve noticed a few parents really worried like me about their child getting teased especially with “coke bottle” glasses. I did lots of research and ended up buying my daughter Nikon lenses. OMG I have say I cried when she first put them on, that’s how great they look. No one had any idea that she needed a +4.5 and +5.5 prescription. They are super thin, they don’t give you that “magnification” look and very durable. My four year old has been wearing them since early December and so far not a scratch. Her first pair of cheap lenses did not fair well! Anyhow, I found the link so you can read up about the product I believe they make one of the thinnest lenses you can buy at this time. I just wanted you to know you have options. http://nikon-lenswear.com/about/technology. And that our babies can still look super duper cute with glasses. Several of my daughters friends are now bugging their parents for glasses;)
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Hi, my boy has had glasses since he was 3. His script is +9 in both eyes. We have always paid extra to get the lenses as thin as possible – and with that script always will. He wanted to wear the glasses and keep them on from the day he got them (which makes sense with his strong script).
He is now 9 years old and has recently taken to wearing contact lenses instead (vanity starts early these days!).
Of course he’d rather he didnt have to wear glasses/contacts and I know his poor vision has effected his confidence in some ways. But I can happily say that at school he has never (yes never in 4 years!) been teased about wearing glasses. It seems a much more common, acceptable thing these days than when we were kids. In fact he has had two friends in the past who pestered their parents to get them glasses so they could be like him.
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Thank you so much for the perspective of someone who’s been there! How is he doing with his contacts?
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I have tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing your sons experience. With my daughter starting school in sept I am worried. At first it was because of glasses, but soon after she got them her eye turn got really bad. But, we are lucky as long as the glasses are on the eye stays straight. Today I bought her prescription swim goggles, they look sharp! I’m happy to hear your boy was never teased. I’m curious about contacts for the future too.
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… btw and this is why I was googling… Im interested in how anyone else might be going with contact lense wearing kids?? And can they (at what age) put them in and take them out themselves?
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We are still learning with the contacts. We first tried them when he was 7 however he was very scared when the optometrist tried to insert them – for him it was too young to try. When he was 8 he joined a rugby team which meant he either had to go without vision correction or wear contacts. He chose to try contacts again. I inserted them each time and that worked pretty well – he just wore them for rugby training and games only. The opthomologist said to restrict use to those limited hours at that stage. The only problem was getting them in which sometimes took me up to 10 minutes (small eyes and me being inexperienced with them) which could be unpleasant for him. Once in they never got lost and they never caused any problems. Getting them out is very quick and easy. He used them that way for 2 rugby seasons. His contacts are soft 30 day lenses. The cleaning is very important but also pretty easy. I’d rather dailys but his script (+9 for glasses so +10 for contacts) doesnt come in dailys. (The strongest plus script for daily contacts is +8). When school commenced this year he (now 9 years old) surprised us saying that he wanted to wear contacts every day to school. We checked with the opthomologist who said this would be fine as long as he gave his eyes a break from the contacts and wore glasses when he got home from school and on weekends. (This is necessary as the contacts limit/block the oxygen to the eyes so the eyes need some contact-free time to ‘breath’). So, he has now been wearing contacts every weekday for the last few weeks. Its going really well. He loves it. And somehow since the end of last rugby season they have become much easier to get in. What used to take me anywhere between 1 minute and 10 minutes is now always a simple 1 minute job for me. Im not sure if its got easier as Im now more experienced at it or if because his eyes have got bigger. I suspect mainly the latter. I think we are still a year or more away from him trying to put them in himself. Im hoping he might be able to learn to remove them by himself soon but am not sure if thats realistic. He has even worn them in the school swimming carnival (under his goggles) and a few times in the surf. Although 1 did get lost in the surf. Keeping them clean is SO important to prevent eye infections. So far we have found that easy though and had no hassles or problems at all. Hopefully he can keep wearing them as comfortably and effortlessly as he is now. He has also got a new set of glasses a few weeks ago and is still happy/comfortable in them too – he just prefers the contacts at times. Hope this is useful info for someone.
(BTW Tina… his right eye is straight with glasses/contacts but turns inward as soon as he takes the glasses off. It has been that way since he was three. And btw which country do you live in?).
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That is so amazing that he does so well with them. I’m an adult and the thought of putting contacts in and out nauseates me. But if and when my daughter wants them I will do it. I really hope someone responds to you and shares their story.
I live in Canada, northern Ontario. It has been freezing -40 many days lately and I feel bad for my daughter as her glasses are constantly fogging up.
I just got her a pair of prescription swim goggles the other day and she loves them! She was practicing in the bath tub and squealing with delight!
You mentioned your sons eye still turns, did you guys do patching? We go back to children’s hospital next week and I think that’s our next step.
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So we got back from CHEO tuesday. My daughters eyes have improved two lines in three months with her new prescription. We started 10 hrs a day every day of patching. This is only day two and my husband noticed that the good eye that is patched turned in today for the first time when it was uncovered. Any thoughts on what I should do? Follow up appt is in 4 wks
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I was so happy and relieved to find this article. My 4 year old son has always had a lazy eye but yesterday I had his picture made with the Easter bunny and it was quite noticeable. We went to the doctor this morning and he is farsighted and stigmatism in both eyes. It broke my heart. I wanted to cry. But I smiled and tried to make him excited about it.I let him pick out his own frames and he’s very excited about receiving them next week. Just hope he likes them once he realizes he has to wear them all the time.
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I know the feeling well. I was upset about my daughters first glasses, then about a really strong prescription and now she has to patch 10 hours a day. I’m finally past it. A few weeks back we were headed to a party and I wanted to let her take her patch off and my husband said “if we keep taking it off we slow her progress, would you rather her wear it all the time now and get better sooner”. He was right, she is so good, she could care less. At the tender age of four she is more mature than me sometimes. A little friend of hers asked why she only had one eye. She took the patch off and said “when I take it off it goes crazy” and showed him and then went on playing. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. I’m sure your son will look handsome. Make sure you tell him if he takes them off they go in an adults hand to avoid scratching. Best of luck Morgan
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Welcome! It’s so hard to hear that news, but you’re doing great. I hope your son takes to his glasses well, too. Let us know how it goes.
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hi, just an update about my little girl, she started wearing her glasses in January, last week her teacher told me she was worried about her, she noticed that she was falling over alot and banging into things this all happening after christmas, i straight away presummed it was the glasses and the teacher agreed. She went for a glasses review last week, they said her vision had improved and it was very unlikely the falling over would be due to the glasses. I was expecting her to be given patches to correct the eye turn but as her vision is equal they are not needed.She has now been refered to an eye specialist regarding surgery, the referal should take 8 weeks. I will keep you updated with my daughters journey.
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Thank you SO much for posting this. I am a special educator, and I have seen disabilities much worse that my 3-year olds myopia and astigmatism. I am truly grateful that this is her only issue thus far, and count it as a blessing. However, a part of me couldn’t help but feel guilty, helpless, and upset to find that she needed glasses. Everyone else thinks I am silly for having such feelings, but reading this site made me feel at ease and understood. She gets her glasses back in a few days– and the journey begins…
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Welcome Teebra! I’m glad you found us. I know it’s hard in the beginning, but the fact that you caught this, and you’re getting your daughter the glasses she needs to see is a great thing. It does get easier.
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Hello, thank you everyone for all these great comments and advice. I just found out that my 3 yr old son needs to wear glasses for bilateral refractive amblyopia and astigmatism. I never knew there was a problem at all as he seems to see everything just fine and his eye line up straight. After he didn’t pass his eye exam at the pediatricians office nor at the preschool round-up, I brought him to an optometrist. I am worried about him not wanting to wear his glasses as he is very strong willed. Also, when he starts his 2nd year of preschool I don’t want him to be the “kid with glasses”. Then I feel guilty for thinking that way. When I see a little one with glasses, I always think they are so cute so why do I worry when its my child? We pick up his new glasses next week.
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Andrea you are definately not alone!!!! At first I cried about the glasses, then she got a new prescription that would be coke bottle looking, then her eye started turning in……so I found super cute glasses, I bought Nikon lenses that are the thinnest you can buy and I blinged out her eye patches.. It gets easier
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Thank you for the reply Tina. My son, Sawyer, is doing really well with them. He doesn’t complain too much. Although, I’m very surprised at how many comments he gets from friends, family and strangers. All of them are very nice but he’s starting to wonder what all the fuss is about. I mean everywhere we go, people comment on them. We decided to go with a new modern type with a thick frame. He does look adorable but maybe it’s too bold? Here I am again, second guessing myself…. sigh….
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Hi Andrea! So glad he’s doing well with them. I think that no matter which frames you chose, he would get comments. That’s just one of those things that we get when we have a young kid in glasses. If it’s feasible to get a second pair (I know it’s not always possible), it is really nice to have a back-up, and you could try a different style to see what he likes and what you like. But I’ll bet that no matter what, he’s going to get comments.
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Hi my 7 year old daughter has visual acuity of 3/3.8 right eye and 3/7.5 left eye also hypermetrppic with anisometroipa bilateral crowded discs and has also possible secondary intracranial hypertension, this has all happend within 1 year after being Diagnosed with JIA last July she is been treated for each one separate, I am so worried any advice would help.
Thanks Tracy x
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Hi Tracy, I’m so sorry, that is a lot to be dealing with. I don’t know much about JIA, but I know that it is associated with vision issues and vision loss. There’s a story on this site of a girl with JIA and uveitis and amblyopia (http://littlefoureyes.com/2010/02/24/your-stories-winning-against-uveitis/), her blog is http://www.kidsgetarthritis2.blogspot.com/.
Best to you and your daughter
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This blog is so helpful and comforting. Thank you for your insight!
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I’m 13 and in my left eye is + 5.50 and. My right eye is +2.25 is that bad? I don’t really know any thing about the eyes I just know what mine are.
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Jasmine, my four year old daughter has +5.50 and +4.50 plus, her one eye sticks to her nose unless she wears glasses. Are your eyes perfect, no. But, with glasses or contacts they can be pretty close. I’ve noticed since my daughter started wearing glasses just how many kids and adults wear them. Good thing, glasses are super trendy right now! So have fun with it. I’m glad you found this site. If you have any questions I’m sure one of us can help you!
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My son has latent hyperopia and an astigmatism. I wear glasses and contacts and scheduled appointments for myself, my husband and oldest son a few months ago thinking nothing of it. After a couple other follow up appointments and debating we picked up my son’s glasses today, R+3.5 and L+1.75. He is 5 and I know I will be following him around constantly to make sure he is wearing them since he’s so active. I now need to improve our insurance and hope they don’t get crunched within a few days. I’ve already cried. I just never thought he had an issue and has done extra well in school last year. Its still hard to believe he needs them. It did feel a little better though because right before picking up his glasses, he had an appointment with his pediatrician to get paperwork done before starting kinder. Even with the basic vision test in the doctors office they confirmed that his right eye is weaker. So here we go… This page was really helpful for me today. Thank You.
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Welcome, Andrea! I’m glad you found us. Kids are so, so adaptable and amazing that many show almost no symptoms of vision problems, especially when one of the eyes is better than the other. I hope he does well with his glasses, best of luck!
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I just found out my 14 month old Sofia needs glasses she is far sighted with astigmatism mostly in her left eye and we have to go through eye patching to correct her left eye from crossing. Its been very stressful and upsetting, my husband and i both wear glasses and contacts but you never think your child would be in the same boat so to be speakThis website and page have taken some of the anxiety away Thank you for this great site and all the advice!!
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Hi Jessica! I’m glad you found some help here. It is stressful to start with glasses and patching (Zoe did patching first at 13 months, then glasses at 14 months, neither was easy). And I completely understand, I wear glasses and love wearing glasses, but it was still upsetting to find out. Best wishes! let us know how things go.
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I just found out my 4 year old DD need glasses. I stumbled upon this page where it explains how we can prevent it from getting anyworse.
http://www.botanical-online.com/myopiaprevention.htm
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AM this is for you
I just went through that same kind of situation you are describing I went back and copied my first post less than a year ago:
I am lost. Age 3 I was told my daughter may need reading glasses, six months later her left eye started to turn in. 1st optometrist orders a mild prescription glasses for hyperopia and astigmatism. The eye turned in worse, I seek a second optometrist he prescribes od +4.50 and os +5.50. Now, confused I seek my physicians advice. He sends me to children’s hospital to see an opthomologist who diagnoses her with Anisometropia, amblyopia and strabismus and agrees with optometrist number two. She wants to put her in high powered lenses, if the eye still turns then patching and less
Ikely surgery. I call optometrist number one as I bought glasses from him a few months earlier. He disagrees with that approach and wants to increase the prescription a little at a time. He said its like giving a person with a headache 4 Tylenol when 1 may work. I’m so confused, what should I do?
So you see I went through the same issue of do I listen… I ended up going with the strongest prescription at the advice of CHEO and I am thankful I did. I was told with my daughters eye condition she may have went blind as her one eye wAS “SHUTTING OFF”. I did get a second optomotrist opinion then I went to my GP and then went to see a paediatric optholmologist. My daughter has been wearing the full prescrition, patching and now we are headed for surgery. I had no idea all of this was happening to her little eyes, I realize your situation is differant, but I wanted you to see the importance of doing your research and following your gut! Had I listened to the first guy my daughter would be in bad shape now and that came from the mouth of a very skilled surgeon. Cant hurt to get a second oppinion. Then if they tell you the same thing as the first you can assure yourself you are doing the right thing. Her surgeon and other people involved had said as children grow their prescription may get weaker, this happends often.
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The blog is super informative. Thankyou so much for having it all in one spot. My daughter is very upset that she has to wear glasses and I am even more upset. Its genetic in my family but it was shocking that she could get it so early in life.
I am more worried about her friends playing and teasing her at school. She is a very sensitive litte girl.
Will filling in the full prescription make it worst?
I am also thinking of a second opinion.
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Hi AM, I certainly know how upsetting it can be to find out your young child needs glasses. Both my husband and I got glasses in elementary school, but we were very surprised that Zoe needed glasses at 1 year old. She does get a lot of comments about her glasses, but they are almost all complimentary, though even that can be overwhelming. But a lot of studies have found that there’s a lot more acceptance of glasses among kids, and I can think of only one time that another child said something to her (she’s had her glasses 5 1/2 years now). The prescription for the glasses is the prescription that her eye doctor believes is best for her vision. Many doctors write that prescription for less than what would be considered a full prescription. But I think a second opinion is a very, very good idea, especially if you’re uneasy with the current treatment plan. Best of luck and let us know how it goes.
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I have just found out my 4 year old needs glasses and will possibly need a patch too. I am really upset and angry as me and my husband have been taking him to the doctors since he was 8 months old about his eyes. I wear glasses but didn’t start wearing them till I was 12. My son starts full time school in Sept and I am really worried for him. He picked his glasses on Sat and we collect them on Fri. I am unsure of how to handle it as he is really upset about having to wear them and has become very tearful since he found out he has to wear them. Would appreciate any advice! Thank you
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Hi all, was great to find this blog, I have spent the last hour reading all your posts. I have been so upset since the school sent us a letter saying that my 4 and a half year old has a sight problem on his left eye and that we have to take him to an specialist, the earliest appointment I could get was 2 weeks after what it is today at 5. I cant do it!!!!!!, I have felt even sick this morning and I haven’t stop crying, I feel like until today my world and my sons world is going to change completely. I keep trying stupidly different tests at home and yes he has difficulties to see far with only his left eye.
How can this happened, nobody in my family or my husband’s have sight problems. I honestly I don’t know if I can do it. If I can go to appointment, thank you.
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Maria, I’m glad you found us. Know that almost all of us were upset to learn our child had trouble seeing and needed glasses. It’s going to be ok, but for your son’s sake, you need to take him to the appointment. If he does need glasses or even a patch, it may be hard, but he will still be your wonderful little boy. What will change is that he’ll be better able to see. And that can change his life, but for the better.
You’ve got this, mama. Be strong for your son and get him what he needs and then come back here and let us know how it went, and you can vent or cry or ask us questions about any of this. But get him to that appointment.
Sent from my iPhone
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Thank you Ann, your comment even made me cry, that is how upset I am at the moment. I will go to the appointment and lets hope is not as serious as I am imagine it after reading too much stuff on the internet. I will let you know how it went.
Thanks again!!
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I’ll be thinking of you. Please, please let me know how it goes!
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Hi All, I have thought too much if writing my yesterday’s experience, but I though it could help other people who reads it. Yesterday the ophtalmologue told us he doesn’t need glasses, he did 5 different tests and no one showed anything. I asked my son after the RDV what type of tests he had to do in the school and he told me was to identify letters. But he doesn’t know the whole alphabet. So when he didn’t know the letter he said I cant see because he is a very shy kid and was afraid the doctor was going to give out to him. After our specialist’s appointment he was very disappointed/annoyed he wasn’t going to wear glasses and he said to me “2 of his class mates who wear glasses are super popular and their glasses are super cool, I want to have the same ones as Tommy”. I shouldn’t have said anything to him in advance, I just wanted him to be prepare. Anyway hope my experience helps someone who just received a letter from the school to don’t start searching like crazy and making conclusion with “home tests” wait until the kid sees an specialist and yes I have learn also that I will take him to the ophtalmologue at least once a year because as quick as you detected the quickest you can do something about it. =)
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Maria, thank you so much for typing up your experience! Even if your son is a little disappointed that he doesn’t get to wear glasses, it’s fantastic news that he has good vision. And I love hearing that other kids think glasses are cool.
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I have just found out my 4yo boy needs glasses. I wear glasses and have for a very long time and feel so guilty. It is not actually that he needs glasses its that they will be a pain for him for the rest of his life and will get in the way of things. I want to guilt to go away, he is happy to wear glasses and he sees much better with them but I feel as though I have let him down as most of you probably feel you want to give the best start to your children and I feel as though I have failed. I do feel sad that he might get harassed at school and dont want him to be bullied because of them and I think that is maybe where the guilt is steming from, I did not have to wear glasses at school only in my early 20’s. It is killing me right now to think that I passed this onto him 😦
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Welcome Anna, I think all of us feel sad and guilty when we find out our child needs glasses. None of us would choose to give our children poor vision, but none of us were given a choice, either. It’s not your fault. One of the good things is that it appears that kids aren’t teased as much for their glasses as they used to be. Glasses are much more common. And, as your son gets older, he could look at wearing contacts. But know that you have not failed! Not even a little bit. You’re getting him what he needs to see and to succeed and that’s one of the best things you could do.
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Pingback: Know Any Kids Who Wear Glasses? | The Parents Perspective·
Your words about guilt touched on every thought and emotion I had today about finding out my daughter may need to wear glasses for the rest of her life. Thanks.
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Janine, I hope you can let go of the guilt. I know that it is hard to hear that your daughter will need glasses and so overwhelming, but it is absolutely not your fault. You are getting her what she needs to see, and that is nothing to feel guilty about.
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Thank you for this! We just got home from our three year old son’s first ophthalmology appointment where we found out he has accommodative esotropia and will need glasses. It’s nice to know I’m not alone with my feelings and concerns.
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I’m glad you found us Elizabeth! Best of luck with your son’s glasses, and please, please feel free to post any questions you have.
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Elizabeth, mmy daughter was also three! She was diagnosed with Amblyopia, Strabismus and Anisometropia and Astigmatism. After 2 years of patching up to 10 hours a day and a surgery last Sept she is finally considered to have accomodative esotropia. Things are headed in the right direction. Im hoping her prescription of +5.50 and +4.50 will become less at the next Children’s Hospital appt in March. I’ve been told there is a chance that she may not need glasses one day!
Good luck with your little one.
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Thanks for this blog! Just found out my 13 month old needs glasses. I really liked the information you had on understanding his prescription. He has an astigmatism of 3.5, and I really didn’t realize what that meant. I guess now I understand why he has been so hesitant to try pulling up and walking- it’s pretty scary if you can’t see! Anyways, thanks for making me feel not so alone.
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Baby was born at 36w and 4 days at 6.2 lbs . How bad can the vision be ??? I didn’t take her to a pediatric optometrist but the one I normally go to . She said she does not see near only from far. She also said that she will need glasses for the rest of her life . This is so confusing I’m at a loss .
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Hi Lidiya, welcome!
My daughter was born at 36w and 2days, so very much like your daughter. It sounds like she’s farsighted, and if it’s a strong prescription, then it is likely that she’ll need glasses for life. This is very similar to my daughter. If it helps, she is doing extremely well with glasses. She’s had them for over 6 years now, and she’s in first grade and is reading well and doing great.
Good luck and please let us know if you have other questions.
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Thanks Ann for your respond. No one in our family had glasses this young in high school yea but not before . They prescribed +1.00 +.75 x90 and 1.50 +1.25( I think or maybe 1.75cant read the doct
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+1.00 +.75 x90 and 1.50 +1.25( I think or maybe 1.75 cant read the docs handwriting ) x90.
How bad is my 5 months olds eye’s? is there any hope it will get corrected? i have been sitting on the computer since thur and different websites are telling me different things. Thanks for your help/ input
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+1.00 +.75 x90 and 1.50 +1.25( I think or maybe 1.75 cant read the docs handwriting ) x90.
How bad is my 5 months olds eye’s? is there any hope it will get corrected? i have been sitting on the computer since thur and different websites are telling me different things. Thanks for your help/ input
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Hi again, those are pretty low farsighted (hyperopia) prescriptions. My guess is your 5 month old sees pretty ok, but has to strain to see clearly. The glasses should prevent eye strain and keep your baby’s eyes from crossing.
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Lidiya, My daughter has been wearing +5.50 and +4.50. She has suffered with Amblyopia and strabismus. And her eyes are improving. Keep the glasses on to prevent an eye turn (we had to have surgery to correct this). My eye dr said most babies/children are hyperopic and most grow out of it. Be happy they caught it quick as it could have gotten worse. Your daughters prescriotion is very mild. I was told my daughter may not need glasses one day.
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I’m so glad I found this site. Found out yesterday that my 15 month old will need glasses for accommodative estropia. I have never had to wear glasses so this whole concept is foreign to me, my husband has worn them as long as he can remember. I feel exactly like you said in your post that it was somehow my fault, that I have failed her. It’s nice to see pictures and read comments to know I’m not alone.
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Thanks Lee, I’m glad you found us! Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
On Tue, Feb 25, 2014 at 8:50 AM, little four eyes wrote:
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This really helped. I took my son to an eye dr apt yesterday and I had no concerns with his vision, and then they told us he had problems seeing far away, I was really upset I was up all night crying I just don’t want him to have to wear glasses for the rest of his life. They said that hopefully when he goes to first grade he won’t need them anymore. I’ve never heard of someone that only needs glassss for a couple years, I really don’t know what to think I’m having a really hard time I want to go somewhere else and get someone else’s opinion Bc he has a hard time communicating and sometimes he won’t know what your talking about I don’t think the way they did the eye exam was appropriate for him since he has a speech delay
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Hi Erica:,
If your gut tells you to get a second opinion than you should. I took my daughter to see one optho that said +1 and wear them only when she feels like it and the second said +3.5 full time and CHEO said +5.5 full time and patching. I would follow the advice if you get a second opinion and it is the same. When my daughter was 3 her eyes looked perfect. I refused to put glasses on her and that was a bad idea. I know its hard right now, but they are glasses. I’d say 1/3 of my daughters class has them and many of the kids wish they had them. I was worrying about teasing etc and that only happend one time. 1 boy told my daughter she looked weird and she just told him he was rude and walked away. It didn’t even affect her according to her. You would be surprised at what the optomotrist can see in the eyes without your son’s help. My son has been going every 6 months since birth to make sure he doesn’t share my daughters eye condition. I would get a second opinion (I put the first through OHIP and the second through my hubby’s vision plan). I totally get you being upset, I was a wreck for weeks…. but after bilateral eye surgery and 10 hours a day of patching….. glasses sound so pretty good. I have heard of children only needing glasses for a certian period of time and no longer needing them. Also, if it ends up being a stronger prescription…. I buy Nikkon lenses so they are really thin and look fantastic. Take a deep breath and know that it will be ok. Any questions feel free to PM me anytime.
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First off, it’s totally normal to feel upset about the news. However
I agree with Tina that a second opinion sounds like a very good idea. I always recommend that if someone is unsure of the exam or the diagnosis or treatment.
There are kids who grow out of glasses, typically they are mildly farsighted. As they get older, their eye shape changes and they become less farsighted.
There are a lot of ways to do an eye exam for anyone who has trouble communicating: http://littlefoureyes.com/2014/01/17/frequently-asked-questions-how-do-eye-doctors-determine-the-prescription-when-a-child-cant-talk-or-read-an-eye-chart/ – how did they do the exam for your son, if you don’t mind my asking.
Best of luck to you and your son, and let us know how things go.
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Hi everyone! We just found out our daughter needs glasses. She is 14 moths 12 1/2 months adjusted. I am really really upset over it. I was just wondering how long it took most of you to feel better about the situation? I hate feeling like this! Thanks!
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Welcome Angelina, my daughter was the same age when she got her glasses.
It can be hard, I think I needed to see my daughter in her glasses. Seeing her wearing them, and playing in the, and smiling in them, and at that point, it was clear that she was still the beautiful, funny girl that I knew and loved.
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My little four year old daughter just found out she needed glasses a few months ago and at first I was very sad but now that she has the glasses she looks so adorable and its not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. She is doing great and I’m glad we found out she needed them earlier then later. This web-site helped with the stress I had when I first found out to see all the other kids with glasses and all the parents who had similar feelings.
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Thanks Renee! I’m so glad that you found this to be helpful, and that your daughter is doing great now!!
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I am so upset that I found out my daughter needs glasses. She is going to be 4 next month. She had one eye that appeared to cross occasionally and we went to a pediatric dr. and yup, she needs glasses. I know this is so silly but I cannot stop crying. I feel ridiculous. Thank goodness that I found this site…Anyway, she is not excited about the glasses even though I have tried to make her really excited…I am dreading this whole process…
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NicRenD, just know that you’re not alone in feeling upset and worried about this. It will get better as your daughter gets used to her glasses. Best of luck to you, and please let us know how it goes.
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Thank you so much Ann! One day at a time here…next stop, picking out frames! Thanks for your kind words…they mean so much.
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Thank you so much for this! I just found out that my 14 month old needed glasses and this was so, so helpful. Everyone tells me that he will be “so cute” and it’s not a big deal, but it feels like a very big deal to me and I’m so grateful that you have validated my feelings while still providing hope. Thank you for breaking it down and offering tips and encouragement, I truly needed it!
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Hi Laura! Thanks for the kind words. My daughter was also 14 months when she got her glasses. It was hard (on me and on her), but just know that it does get easier. Let us know how your son is doing!
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I was wondering if anybody else have a similar experience to what we did? the pediatric opthamologist used a monicals and a light to flash through the children’s eyes. is this typical for small children, on adults they use the phoropter which is the lens wheel machine, do they use that on children too or is it just adults? Is the wheel more accurate? Will insurance pay for a second opinion check up? And will they reapply drop into their eyes (which they hate) to get a prescription or is that just to check eye health and not neccesary to re do to confirm prescription strengths? And replies would be appreciated. 🙂
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Thanks a ton for the article.
I have a 3 1/2 year old baby boy who is diagnosed with “Accommodative Esotropia” in the left eye. He has hyperopia with a power of +5.5 on both eyes!
I was literally shattered to hear this and broke down. His eyes are really the most attractive feature in him and to cover it with thick glasses is the last thing I ever wanted to do.
After reading the posts here, I felt that I am lucky to have diagonised the problem at such early age. Thanks to almighty God.
I am getting him spectacles tomorrow and I am just hoping that he gets acquainted with it at the earliest.
Thanks for this wonderful article. I feel as though you have read my mind and jotted what I am going thru at the moment.
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Thanks James. I’m so glad you found it helpful. I think so many of us can relate to being so upset when we learn our child needs glasses. Good luck with the glasses for your son, and let us know how it goes.
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Thank you for this article & the entire website! It’s truly a breath of fresh air and comfort to know there are others who are right there with you.
My baby, Winston, will be 6 months old this week and Wednesday will be his 7th surgery. His was born with an iris cyst in his left eye (most likely poked his eye in the womb) that had to be drained several times until he was big enough for it to be removed. All the surgeries caused a cataract, so they had to remove his lens. We then tried a hard contact for a month but it caused too much irritation, so we tried a soft contact and that didn’t work either. We then found out on January 2nd that his cyst grew back and its already covering most of his pupil. Wednesday they will remove the cyst again and then implant a lens. He will need to start glasses next week and I am very nervous to see how he will do with them but excited for him to start seeing out of his left eye. He hated patching while we did the contact, so I can’t imagine how he’ll do with glasses.
If there are any parents on here who have dealt with a similar situation it would be wonderful to talk with you. I’m extremely thankful for a group like this!
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Our little man got a sudden turn in his eye at the age of 2 years 3 months. It absolutely devastated us… We went into a whirlwind week of private appointments with pediatric ophthalmologists, optometrist and opticians. We got so many opinions it was crazy…. It didn’t help when the Doctor said it was unusual for the eye to turn out of the blue like that.
Meanwhile the Ophthalmologists said it was common for it to happen overnight. Bloody Doctors hey, just say you don’t know if you aren’t 100% sure.
Anyway turns out he is longsighted. +3.5 in each eye and the glasses straightened out his eyes.
We just noticed yesterday (4 months later) that his weaker eye was very occasionally trying to turn again even with the glasses on (he has grown since first script). So it looks like we need to alter the prescription. Periodically his eyes will be straight for a minute or so even without the glasses on. Go figure.
I personally thought the eyes would become less longsighted from birth, so I hoped and assumed the prescription would get weaker as we went on. However, after doing some further reading, I discovered that a child will generally get MORE longsighted up until the age of about 7 so you will frequently have to up the prescription, and only around the age of 7 will the eyes start to get less longsighted up until about 12. This is why some children grow out of it.
I feel like this is information they should share with you because when you see the eye start to turn again with the glasses on, you go into full panic mode once more.
Because both of my sons eye will turn without glasses, we’ve been told we don’t need patching. Hopefully it stays that way. I have been looking at the Amblyz glasses in regards to patching if anybody has any experience with them? They seem very innovative.
If this has just happened to your child, rest assured you will very quickly get used to it and it really isn’t a big deal to anybody but the parents. When you tell somebody your kid needs glasses the response is pretty much “no biggie” .. although we all know it’s different when it’s your own.
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Just found out an hour ago that my princess 6 months of age has a weak vision. Have been shedding tears for an hour so…May God make her strong enough to fight this out & make her vision better by every passing second…Please pray for her…
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Thank you so much for this right here! I just found out this morning that my 7 year old needs glasses full time and I have this huge wave of guilt come over me. I’ve never needed glasses, but my husband is supposed to wear them all the time. I’m looking forward to connecting with you and some of the other bloggers (I’m a blogger, too) and learning more about this new world!
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I’m at a loss. My son is almost 5 and we noticed very early he had vision issues. We finally were able to have a doctor patient enough to see him and got a huge shock that he is VERY near sighted. His prescription in both eyes is -16. His glasses are so thick and he hates wearing them. He cries and it’s a huge struggle. I don’t know what to do and making him wear them just creates more crying and stress on me and my husband. He is young So I can’t gauge how well he does or doesn’t see in them. I did notice he can read his alphabets on the fridge standing further away when he is wearing them. What can I do to get him to wear them on a regular? He ask to take a “break” often and we let him at times but I’m trying to slowly get him to wear them all the time. I’m so desperate for any help or suggestions.
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I think I would do what I could to have him wear his glasses full time. That’s a really strong prescription, and I have to imagine that going back and forth between wearing glasses and not would take a lot of adjustment.
I would also make sure that his glasses are adjusted well. With such thick lenses, they’re going to be heavy, and you want to be sure they’re fitting well. I know that it always takes a few adjustments for my glasses to fit right, and when they don’t fit right, they really hurt, and I don’t want them on my face.
Best of luck to you and your son!
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Dear Ann Z,
I was happy to see your post when I received word that my 4 year olds eye exam at his school didnt go well, they asked us to follow up with a doctor, but I was even more excited that you have continued to reply to comments even in 2016. i have worn glasses since the 4th grade and also have an astigmatism, so I knew eventually he would need. So I googled 😀 and found your website. I really did feel this rush of relief calming my nerves, and it was as if your words stood with me even while waiting at the optical. Finally when called by the doctor he stated that indeed my child needed glasses… the horror to me and the terrible knotted feeling in my stomach DIDNT come from those words, it came from the ones that immediately followed- “does he play alot on the tablet and phone?” Well, we are in 2016 what kid doesnt? (No that wasn’t my reply) but I did say “Yes”. His reply was somewhere along the lines of “well I find that alot in young kids this age only playing with tablets, their vision is like this, and he may even develope a lazy eye, and he does have an astigmatism” I was horrfied at the fact that his initial assumption to my babys eye problems was a direct result of MY choice to allow him to play games (learning games) and watch Disney and Nick Jr on his tablet. I asked all the questions I could, and he did say that the tablet might not be the reason, maybe he would have had this problem anyways, or maybe he developed this “problem” SOONER as a result of the tablet. I didnt know what to make of it, I felt so overwhelmed I couldnt even choose a pair of glasses, we went straight home, just now, and I had to tell you this. That this doctor completely overlooked the emotional part that this takes on a parent. He COMPLETELY BLUNTLY stated that MY choices are the cause. I dont know what to make of this feeling.
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Oh Rose. Wow. I’m so upset that you had that conversation with the eye doctor! Is there any chance that you could find a different doctor?
So I am not an expert on this, but in all my reading about the causes of astigmatism, I have not heard that playing on tablets is a factor. Genetics does seem to be a factor, as well as just plain luck (or bad luck) of the draw. Blaming you (or the tablet games) is not helpful in this case. What is helpful is the fact that you’re getting your son what he needs to see well into the future! I hope that you don’t take any guilt from that eye doctor (though I know as a parent how hard we are on ourselves).
Please keep in touch and let me know how you and your son are doing!
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I’ll add to this string of comments and say a huge THANK YOU! today I was surprised by the news that my son needs glasses and tonight I have found a ‘one stop shop’ to help me work through it. The thing I am feeling most sad about is glasses getting in the way when I want to cuddle him and give his a kiss! 😦 That and the quilts for not realising sooner to do something about it.
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Hi, all. Three weeks ago two of my sons failed the eye chart part of their normal check ups with their pediatrician, so my husband and I scheduled them, and the rest of the boys appointments with an eye doctor.As it turned out all of them have trouble with their vision, not just the two. 5/6 of them got prescribed glasses. they are 9, 8, 6, 5, 2, and 1 years old. Nick, my 2 year old apparently has some very slight vision problem,and the doctor said he could benefit from glasses because he has a little problem seeing faraway, but it does not cause any disturbances for him, so he said to bring him back with his brothers in six months, and then he might get glasses. Due to the reasons we went, I expected two of them to get glasses, but not all of them, especially not Trenton (he is 14 months old). I was sort of in shock, and forgot to ask all my questions, so was wondering if anyone could help me? Their glasses should be ready by next Friday, so I want to be prepared. My husband and I do not wear glasses, so this is all new to us.
I know this might sound selfish, but I am so worried what people will say when all of a sudden all my boys will be in glasses, especially about Trenton, he is a baby, and babies don’t wear glasses. how could all of them end up with glasses, did we do something wrong, that caused this? We limit their screen time, and always make sure they read in good lighting, and make sure they eat well. I am just so shocked, and saddened by this news, I have been crying since I found out, it is just so much to take in at once. what’s more, the doctor we went to refereed us to a specialist to check Trenton. my baby has to go to a specialist, I did not think that this would ever happen. I am just so lost, worried, scared, sad, and well just overwhelmed by all this. It is all new to me, and I have no clue about any vision stuff/ Can anyone help me, how did you all deal with your babies needing glasses? Did they deal with it okay, or did they hate having something on their face? Will making them wear their glasses worsen their eye sight even more? what did people say about your kids needing glasses? Were they teased? How did you guys deal with all of this?
so sorry for the pile up of questions. Thank you in advanced to all that respond to me. lastly, this website is a genius idea, I really like it.
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So pleased to have found this website too. I took my 41/2 year old son for an eye a few days ago ( for no reason other than he starts school in September and I had to wear glasses from about 8 as I’m short sighted). Well werft the opticians 2 hours later with a prescription for +8.5 and +7.5 and had ordered glasses…all a bit of a whirlwind really as he has had no symptoms. Looking at websites I can see this is a pretty high prescription…we do have a referral which the optician said would come through very quickly so he wouldn’t advise we went private so I’ll be checking the post. Have ordered the glasses with thinned lenses so I’m hoping they will be in for him but I now just can’t wait to see the specialist as I have so many questions. Think we are still in shock but I’m so as I went as at first they said if they were under 5 and showed no symptoms they wouldn’t advise a test….think that’s why I insisted he did so it’sucky how I managed. Poor love as we had no idea as he is s child who doesn’t seem to miss anything so I guess he must have been straining his eyes from some time. I wore contacts at 11 so hope this will be an option (if that is what he wants) I the future. Found the comments really helpful to know what we are experiencing (grief/bewilderment ) is not uncommon
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If you are on Facebook, please join the Facebook little four eyes group. It is very supportive of all kids and parents of kids wearing glasses and the adjustments to them. You are fortunate he did not show signs that do not need fixing(accommodative Esotropia), but you are so good to have had his eyes checked before school! Good luck! All of us here are on this boat. The initial reaction is overwhelming, but once they get used to the glasses they become a part of them.
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I know this is a very old post, but I can’t thank you enough for everything here. I surprised myself my how overwhelmed I was that my almost 5 year old needs glasses, even though my husband and I did when we were in elementary school. The tips on fit and house rules, as well as the research are incredibly helpful! I can’t tell you how much better I feel after reading this. Thank you!
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I’m so glad that you found it to be helpful, Jen! Good luck to you and your kiddo in glasses!
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hi all.
my 3.5 son started wearing glasses from two months ago. his glasses are RX.+3 and +3.5 but his eyes are +4.5. we will see his dr. in a week. but my question is that can prescription of lower RX glasses can make a problem for him? I heard that new researches found thar this percription is old and has negative effect.
if any of you has seen a reserach or article obut this pls let me konw/
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Hi Siren, it’s very common to under-prescribe slightly with farsightedness at that age, since kids are typically slightly farsighted and there is some research that under-prescribing can help encourage the eyes to move towards a lower prescription. That said, if your son is having trouble seeing clearly or is crossing his eyes with that prescription, then that’s absolutely a reason to adjust the prescription.
My favorite article that pulls together a whole lot of research on recommended prescriptions is https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1444-0938.2011.00600.x (that paper focuses on children who do not have strabismus, though, if your son has strabismus, then the guidelines are a bit different as correcting the eye turn is very important)
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tnx alot Ann.
without glasses one of his eyes turns towrd his nose when he is tired and tries to focus. but when he is wearing his glasses (+3.5) he never has any kinf od strabismus. but I feel the same eye under the glasses is more near toward his nose than the middle of the eye ,of course with no extra movement.
sorry for my weak engflish. im persian dear Ann.
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