Thanks to Julie for sharing her post originally posted on her blog, A Balancing Mama. We’ve had very similar experiences with Zoe looking at the ground and mumbling whenever someone compliments her glasses, even though I know the the compliments are well-meaning. This makes me think of the tips for things to say or not say to young kids in glasses. – Ann Z
You know… no one tells me that they “like my glasses”. But this seems to be the #1 most common thing anyone says to my child. Amelia hears this comment at least twice a week, usually more. At the dentist the other day? Four people told Amelia, “I like your glasses” in a span of ten minutes!
- The first couple times, she smiled and quietly expressed thanks.
- The third time, she grinned a little and hugged me.
- The fourth time, she looked at the ground.
Amelia, now a few weeks from turning five, has begun to question her glasses. Why does she have to wear them? How long does she have to wear them? Are her glasses forever? She really doesn’t need strangers to convince her that her glasses are the focal point of her being.
Of course she looks gorgeous in her wire rims with pink temples. And I completely understand that people believe they are being nice or helpful… but I wish “well-meaning” adults would stop bringing attention to Amelia’s glasses every time we set foot inside a store – or a dentist’s office. Amelia has a fun and funky fashion sense – why not comment on her fuzzy, sparkly pink boots? Or her jewelry? Or her amazing curly hair that looks amazing in any weather, including humidity? Or how about saying, “what a cute girl you are!”?
This used to happen before she had glasses.
– Julie is a part-time working mom, mother to 4-year-old Amelia, and the blogger behind BalancingMama.com.
I completely agree. My two and a half-year-old has been wearing glasses since she was around 20 months and so many people comment on them. I’m afraid she’ll start to question like Amelia why people focus so much on them. I’ve always told her to say thank you but now after she does this, I redirect away from her looks as soon as I can, like ask her to show them her stuffed zebra or the book she’s carrying.
Completely agree too!
Yes. And it would be even better if little girls didn’t always receive superficial comments on their clothing, cuteness/looks, glasses, or whatever–as gastonlinn alluded to. I admit I often do the same but I try not to! Other, more meaningful kindness is possible that isn’t superficial. Like, “Wow, you are waiting in line so patiently!” or “I see you have a zebra on your shirt. Do you like animals?”