So my last post was no news is good news and I must have jinxed myself. In the last couple weeks, my gut is telling me something is just not right. I am starting to see a slight turn in when she is tired. Am I just over analyzing the situation or are her eyes misaligned again? So disheartned, but hoping for the best. Trying to get in ASAP to our PO – just e-mailed them a bunch a pictures too.
Reader question: clumsiness due to vision issues, or normal kid clumsiness?
This question came in from Ingrid, whose daughter Paris is 3, and wears glasses for nearsightedness in one eye, her other eye needs no correction (anisometropia). – Ann Z
I am wanting to ask parents of children with anisometropia whether they find their child particularly clumsy? It is something that really plays on my mind as it is hard to know whether a certain amount of clumsiness is just part of being a three year old child who does everything at full speed or something more sinister.
Take today for example, I picked Paris up from kindy to hear that she had a bad nose bleed today as she ran full speed into a metal bar in the playground. I could see the remnants of blood in her nose and she had a nasty bruise on the bridge of her nose. Then she collided with another child later in the day. Immediately I think it is her vision, however my husband always assures me that she is just a busy three year old and our other children did the same. It’s so hard not to worry though. I hate the thought of her misjudging distances due to her anisometropia. She is -4 in her right eye with -2 astigmatism and plano in the left so the difference is significant. It breaks my heart sometimes.
No news is good news
It seems like forever since I have posted – sorry, hope all is well with our little four eyes family. Elliana’s eyes have remained straight since the last surgery and her prescription hasn’t changed again, but I am getting the sinking feeling that it will be soon. She is starting to put her face close to her work again and take her glasses off more for breaks. I’m calling our PO to schedule a visit. We have found Elliana likes clarity and is not a fan of a partial filled prescription. My gut feeling though is that we may be in for a change within the next year again. I think we are at (-2.5, -8.5) now.
We started swimming this summer and have been having a blast. Elliana made the decision to wear her glasses in the water and she is a fish! A couple of people have commented and asked why she is wearing glasses in the water and not goggles. Here is my current answer.
1. This is working for her. She is comfortable and having fun. She can see above and below water.
2. These Disney 187cc cable temple frames are taking a beating and still ticking – so I;m not going to mess with it
3. At this time, there are no goggles for the high rx, so we would have to get the maximum available. With her being so young, I am not sure how well the goggles would work, how soon she would outgrow them, and if she would actually wear them.
SO, fo the time being, she swims with glasses!
Also, my #2 LOVES glasses. We bought him a Build A Bear set of glasses to wear around the house. HE is a hoot and hard on the real and pretend pairs! Elly tells him that when he gets to be a big kid like her, hey may be able to get “real glasses” like her!
Confirming what we knew: wearing glasses is harder on us parents than it is on our kids
I ran across a very interesting article the other day while perusing the recent literature on kids and glasses (yeah, I regularly read through article about kids and glasses, makes me a hit at the parties…).
“Spectacle wear in children reduces parental health-related quality of life,” published in the Journal of the AAPOS, Feb., 2011 (read the abstract here). I’ll jump straight to the conclusion before getting in to the details: when it comes to questions about vision and their eyes, parents of kids in glasses worry more than than parents of kids who don’t wear glasses. Our kids with glasses do not worry any more about their vision than their peers who don’t wear glasses.
So the details…
This was a small study, only 49 children between the ages of were 5 and 13 were recruited. The children all either had normal vision with no glasses (29 of the children) or refractive error that was corrected with glasses (20 of the children). None of the children had strabismus or other vision issues – the researchers just wanted to look at the impact of glasses on a child’s quality of life.
Each child and their parents completed two questionnaires, the Intermittent Exotropia Questionnaire, a questionnaire that asks specifically about how vision impacts their quality of life – though there are no questions about wearing glasses; and the Pediatric Quality of Life Questionnaire, which is a more general questionnaire about how kids are functioning physically, emotionally, socially, and in school. For the Intermittent Exotropia questionnaire, the child answered a set of questions, the parents answered a set of questions for the child (proxy), and then the parents answered questions about themselves. For the Pediatric Quality of Life Questionnaire, there was no questionnaire for the parents to answer for themselves.
The Intermittent Exotropia Questionnaire included things like (you can see the full questionnaire here – scroll down to the bottom of the page.) …
For kids:
- Do kids tease you because of your eyes?
For parents to answer for their child (proxy):
- My child feels different from other kids because of his/her eyes.
For parents, about themselves regarding their child’s vision:
- I worry that my child will be less independent because of his/her eyes.
(There were no significant differences in answers between the two groups of children or their parents in the Pediatric Quality of life Questionnaire, so we’re not going to worry about that one.)
Findings
As I mentioned at the beginning, there was no difference in scores between kids with glasses and those without when it came to their quality of life. Basically, the kids with glasses were no more worried about their eyes or vision than those without glasses.
But when you looked at the responses by the parents, that’s where the differences stood out. First, if you looked at the proxy questions – where the parents answered for their child, four of the questions showed lower scores (lower quality of life) for kids with glasses:
- Q2. My child is bothered by people wondering what is wrong with his/her eyes;
- Q4. Kids tease my child because of his/her eyes;
- Q8. My child feels different from other kids because of his/her eyes; and
- Q9. My child worries about what other people think of him/her because of his/her eyes.
The really interesting thing here, is that the kids did not report feeling different or teased or worried about what others think of them because of their eyes. The parents were the ones who felt that their kids were encountering those things. It’s an interesting (and unanswered) question as to who is right in this case, though I’m inclined to guess that parents are projecting their own fears into their answers.
When answering for themselves about their concerns for their children, parents of kids in glasses had lower scores (p <= 0.03 for the stats people) – meaning they were more concerned – for the following statements:
- Q3. I worry the my child will have permanent damage to his/her eyes;
- Q6. I worry that my child will get hurt physically because of his/her eyes;
- Q7. I worry about the possibility of surgery;
- Q8. I worry about my child becoming self-conscious because of his/her eyes;
- Q14. I worry about my child’s eyesight longterm;
- Q16. I worry about whether or not my child should have surgery.
(Let me tell you, I can totally relate to every one of those statements there. If someone asked me to list my biggest fears when it comes to Zoe and her eyesight, it would sound really similar).
So, when you hear someone tell you that this is harder on you than it is on your child, there’s probably more than a bit of truth there. Our kids are tough, and they know that their glasses help them see, and they don’t worry about their eyesight the way we do. Which I guess is as it should be, since that worrying is our job as parents.
Announcing the COVD Visions of Hope Vision Therapy Video Contest!
The COVD (College of Optometrists in Vision Development) is looking for videos that tell of success stories with vision therapy. They’re holding a video contest, “Visions of Hope” on their facebook page. The deadline for submitting videos is August 10, and winners will be selected by vote on Facebook. You can read more here: Announcing the COVD Visions of Hope Vision Therapy Video Contest!
Let me know if you do submit a video, and I’ll keep a running list so that others can see who from Little Four Eyes has submitted a video.
How did you find your child’s eye doctor?
A question came up in the comments about how to find an expert for a second opinion for their child’s vision. I think it’s an excellent question, and I’d love to hear thoughts on how others have gone about choosing an eye doctor for their child, and especially if you sought a second opinion, how you chose the second doctor.
Today, I cried. In Ikea.
By, Rebecca of Mommy, Ever After
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve grown to love my baby girl’s glasses.
They help her, they are a tangible solution to a small problem, and they look so darn cute.
I’ve learned to love them so much, that I have stopped thinking about them.
I have accepted them.
They have become a wonderful, valuable, treasured part of my wonderful, valuable treasure.
And then, today happened.
It all started innocently enough. I went to Ikea with my mom and sister (a fellow life-long member of the glasses tribe). We joked our way through the rows of Hemnes and Karslbad and were having a great time until I came upon a family who was hovered by the Klippan sofa display.
It happened in slow motion.
As I saw the six year old boy spot my daughter,
who was sitting peacefully in her stroller, munching on a soft prezel,
I noticed his hand start to raise as his index finger jutted towards her.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!” I wanted to scream, as my ears filled up with the noise of my pounding heart.
“Look at that baaaaaaaaby!”
He shouted, as he pointed, wagging his finger at my daughter’s heart shaped face.
“She has glassssssses! Why does that baaaaaaby have glasses?”
And he did not say it in a nice way.
In fact, he said it in about as mean of a way as someone who wears Spongebob Underpants could muster.
His mother scolded him, and commented how he was being “rude” (Okay, mom. I’m sure he feels terrible about his “rudeness”.) and how he was wrong, that she actually is so cute in her glasses.
Yes. Just like that.
And then my heart shattered in 80 grillion pieces.
I did not say a word. I did not scold the little boy. I did not preach to him. I did not “kill them with kindness”.
I, instead, sought refuge in my sister’s arms,
somewhere between the Kivik chairs and my own personal hell.
And I cried.
My heart ached for my little girl.
This was the first time that she was teased for wearing glasses.
And she had no idea. She just sat eating her pretzel, happy and smiling.
And that made it infinitely worse.
But, my sister, being the wise baby sibling that she is, talked me through it.
She has been wearing glasses since she was two, and she assured me that she has never felt ashamed or bad or silly because of her glasses. Never. Not once. She told me that they are an accessory. That she loved her specs.
And I had no choice but to believe her.
That is what survival is all about.
And so,
I went on with my Ikexcursion, and as I pushed my happy little glasses wearing girl, my heart began to piece itself back together.
And I realized that I will never be able to control what people think or say or how they act. All I can do is to take care of my daughter’s needs, both physical and emotional, in the best way I can.
When she is old enough,
I will not tell her, “Yes, you are bespectacled.”
I will tell her “You are you. You are Bespectacular.”
So when we reached the cash registers
and the nice, young lady behind us made goo-goo eyes at my little girl, I held my breath, but knew I could handle whatever comment she threw our way.
She told me that she loooooved my daughter’s glasses.
I told her that I love them too.
And I do.
So, with dried tears and a full heart, I bought us $1 cone of frozen yogurt. Always be spectacular, I say,
and always treat your little girl to dessert.
Patching a Toddler
Many, many thanks to Melissa Glover who gives us some hard-won advice on patching a very young toddler. To follow her chronicle of “the patch”, check out her blog http://thegloverfamilyblog.blogspot.com/
I have a friend who runs marathons. She trains by completing 5, 10 or even 15 miles a day. While I have complete respect & admiration for her, I also know that my “training” blows hers out of the water. See, I have to keep an eye patch on a toddler. For 10 hours a day. A toddler. An eye patch. 10 hours. Sure makes a 15 mile run seem like sitting on the couch. But, I am here to tell you while there is no t-shirt & medal at the finish line, what seems impossible is actually…possible!
Our condensed story: At 8 months old my son saw an optometrist through the infanstsee program, which provides free visits for 6-12 months olds (www.infantsee.org). My aunt told me about it and since it was a free visit, we decided to go. Much to our shock (worry, anxiety, tears), he was diagnosed with a pediatric cataract! At 11 months, he started wearing an eye patch (2 hours a day). At 12 months his patch time was increased to 4 hours a day. At 13 months, we were at 6 hours. At 14 months he had cataract removal surgery & the patch time increased to 10 hours! With the addition of glasses at 15 months, it is safe to say the last 6 months have been a whirlwind. And by “whirlwind” I obviously mean “I am desperate for normal to return!”
If your toddler is starting patching, be prepared. It’s hard. I am saying this not to scare you but to make you realize you are not alone. While we have only been patching 6 months, we have definitely figured out some ways that make our lives much more routine. I will not say “easier” because no variation of the word, “easy” should ever be included in the same thought with “eye patch”. Unless it is something like, “It is easy for me to hate the eye patch.”
When we first started patching, I was desperate for information. My son is my first baby & just when I started to get the hang of the whole mommy thing, BAM-an eye patch, glasses & surgery. What on earth? My frantic attempts at scouring the internet led me to discover that there is not a lot of info on toddlers and eye patches. Most of what I could find dealt with older kids & included words like reason, explain, bribe and charts. Since my son couldn’t even walk yet I knew I was dealing with a slightly different clientele. But, after much trial & error (and 6 months) we have made it routine, which is far from perfect but better than survival mode!
GETTING the patch on
Start with the right equipment:
- PATCHES: We tried Nexcare & Opticlude before my sister discovered krafty patches which quickly took over as our favorites. Because you are going to go through A LOT of them, it’s best to just order in bulk. What I love about these patches is they come in a variety of colors, they don’t irritate his skin as much as the others, they stay on pretty well & they can actually be reused if you can get it before your kid crumbles it up. Depending on the size of your kid’s face, you might have to trim the inside a bit.
- GLASSES: We use Miraflex glasses, which are 1 piece of malleable plastic. Perfect, perfect for a toddler. My son is fearless, active, a climber and into everything! I cannot imagine how many pairs of glasses or trips to the eye doctor we would have made by now if he didn’t have plastic frames. Numerous times a day (especially in the car), he will take them off and they don’t break at all because they are plastic!
- OTHER: Use Milk of Magnesia to create a barrier between the skin & the patch. We keep some in a travel size bottle because I made a mess every time I tried to dip the Qtip in the real bottle. Also, stock up on some kind of lens cleaner. Wal-Mart, Sams, etc. sells lens cleaner wipes for very cheap & we keep those stashed everywhere. Toddlers are sticky, dirty and touchy. The lenses will be so gross despite your best efforts. Anytime he takes them off, I clean them very quickly & then put them right back on. I try to keep them clean because he already is at a disadvantage with only having access to one eye!
The key to patch success is getting on the patch on while he is still disoriented in the morning. Don’t turn on any lights, TV, etc. until it is on. Give him his bottle/sippy cup & put a little milk of magnesia around the eye, let it dry for a few seconds & put the patch on! It has to be on before he is awake so he is used to it. Also, because young toddlers don’t understand, “close your eyes” yet, if his eye is open you will hear eyelashes all day as he blinks.
KEEPING the patch on
- So, once it’s on you only have 9 hours and 59 minutes to keep it on! This sounds like a nightmare & it will be at first. The key to keeping it on is thinking one step past normal toddler. All toddlers are active, independent & stubborn. As it is, you have to choose your battles so an eye patch definitely increases the intensity. Remind yourself that this is not a battle you can choose. You have to fight it. There is no option. So, you have to figure out how to make it happen! The key is A LOT of distraction. Whatever they are interested in, have it ready. Sing songs, look for trucks, read books….There is NO time away from your kid for awhile. The first few months my son was either holding my hand or sitting in my lap. He loves the vacuum so we just vacuumed a couple of times a day. You have to keep them distracted to they don’t remember it’s there! It will not be easy. Deal with it. Sounds harsh, but once you give in it will be easy to give in next time.
- When it is time for it to come off (naptime, bath time), try to teach him that only Mommy or Daddy can remove it. He will still try to remove it, but it does help. Always take it off from the inside to the outside because the outside skin is less sensitive.
- Don’t call it “patch”! It will consume your conversation with everyone you know and every time he hears that word, his little hand will shoot straight up to pull at it. We call our son’s patch the “cougar”. I have no idea why but it works. Once he figures that one out, we will switch to a new word.
STAYING sane
- This will almost push you over the edge. In the beginning, we tried filling in the patching chart to keep up with the hours but it quickly turned into a chronicle of how many times I cried that day, and I knew that was not a reliable outlet.
- Get frustrated. Get over it. It’s unfair for your baby & for you. But, what is beyond fair, lucky even, is that you found out about the situation and are fixing it! He will react how you do, so don’t freak out when he takes it off. Take it from him and put it back on. Repeat. Repeat. Keep doing this until you win. The victory might only last 5 minutes until he removes it again, so start over. Your child’s vision is in your hands & you don’t want to explain to him one day that he can’t see because you let a 1 year old call the shots.
- Embrace it. Some people don’t make their child wear the patch in public because it is uncomfortable & prompts stares. This is where it is actually easier the younger they are because their feelings won’t get hurt. My husband has taught me that humor can cure anything. He once chronicled a detailed narrative involving an out of control parrot when asked about the patch.
- Remember, there is not much that is more challenging than keeping an eye patch on a toddler. But, you CAN do it! And, one day it will all be worth it when your kid looks at you with BOTH eyes to tell you he loves you!
Rose Colored Glasses
by, Rebecca of Mommy, Ever After
It has been 10 days since my sweet girl got her glasses.
On day 1, I hated them.
She looks different. People are looking at her differently. She’s not used to them. Are they uncomfortable? Is she still the same little girl? Of course she’s the same little girl. What is wrong with me? How could I be so shallow? So vain? Will I always feel this way?
These questions,
these fears,
played for me, over and over again,
like a montage in my mind.
In the battle between me and my daughter’s farsightedness,
the glasses were totally kicking my behind.
On Day 2, I decided to take my daughter out for the first time.
Please know that I recognize how silly this sounds. I am a devout believer of inner-beauty and unconditional love, and an advocate for compassion and tolerance. I knew how much worse it could be. Yet, I hated them, still.
And so, I took my little girl to a local farmer’s market. I felt vulnerable. For my girl. For us.
I was scared.
The first person who greeted us smiled at my daughter. “She’s soooo cute!” the woman said.
“HER GLASSES ARE NEW. THIS IS HER FIRST DAY WEARING THEM.” The words spewed from my mouth, so quickly I had scarcely taken a breath. My defenses were up, my sword was drawn, and I would make sure to strike first, before anyone could dare comment on my daughter and her eyewear. I was so scared that people would look at my beautiful little girl and only see glasses. So, in true crazy-person fashion, I headed them off at the pass.
The next person to approach us was a kind, older lady who squealed when she took in the sight of my little one.
“Ooh! My, look at her cute shoes!”
I exhaled. I bit my tongue. Don’t mention her glasses. Don’t make any sudden movements.
“Thank you.” I choked out between my smile of gritted teeth.
“And those glasses! They are adorable!”
I am not sure if was able to muster a thank you before pivoting and scurrying off without my broccoli rabe.
Why was this so hard for me? What was my problem?
And then, around day 3, something amazing started to happen. My little girl began to keep her glasses on all day long. She began to whine or whimper when they would come off. And she started to study her books with a new intensity. She started to say new words. She started doing things she’d never done before. So many things.
And she started to look like herself again to me.
She was my little girl again. A new version, yes, but certainly a better one. She began to see world around her with new clarity. She could, for the first time, see blades of grass and the tiny spots on a ladybug; she could see my face, beaming with pride.
So now, on day 10, I love her glasses. I appreciate them.
And yes, every time we go out, we get at least a comment or two.
“She looks so precious!”
“I didn’t know they made glasses that small!”
“My daughter also needed glasses as a baby.”
And, the ever-popular,
“How did you know she needed them?”
That one I have fun with.
“Oh, she started to read her sonnets in Spanish instead of French, so we knew her eyes weren’t working properly.”
Or something like that.
So yes, my fears have come true in some ways, because the fact that she wears glasses have become a thing.
But, you know what? Everyone has a thing.
And as far as things go, I’ll take this one any day of the week.
So, my daughter isn’t the only one seeing the world differently right now.
When I look at her little face, I am reminded to always lead with love,
to give compassion to everyone I meet,
to stop making assumptions based on how things look
and to always,
always,
look on the bright side and stay positive.
Because you know what? Life is much better with a glass(es) have full.
In fact, you just might say that everything looks
rather rosey.
“None of my friends wear glasses …
…only the teachers.” Zoe’s brought this up a couple of times recently. She hasn’t been upset per se, but she does seem to notice it a lot more. I usually run through my list of kids we know in glasses out loud, but none of them are kids that she sees on a regular basis, so that doesn’t seem to reassure her.
Zoe got her glasses so early that it never really occurred to me that this might eventually come up. When she got glasses at 14 months, we didn’t know any other kids her age in glasses, but she was too young to really make that connection. Plus, nearly everyone in her family wears glasses, so I think it felt like a completely normal thing. But as she’s grown, her circle of friendship and people she’s aware of has expanded, and she differentiates now between family, and adult friends, and her friends her age. A lot of people in those first two categories have glasses, but very few in that last category. This came up again in a thread on the facebook group, and I was struck by the fact that three of us with kids around the same age were noticing a slight change in their attitude towards their glasses. Thankfully, Zoe still wears her glasses with no problems, and right now, as long as she just keeps pointing it out as a difference between her and her friends, without judgement, I think I’m going to leave it be. All kids are different, and I think it’s important to learn that differences are not necessarily good or bad, they’re just different.
But I do worry that the day will come when it she starts seeing them as a bad thing, and I’m not entirely sure what to do when that happens. I’d love to hear whether anyone has had their child starts to see their glasses in a negative light – I’m not talking about a phase when they simply won’t wear them, we’ve been through those – but rather when they are tying their glasses to their self-esteem, and not in a good way. What did you do in those cases? Or, maybe it doesn’t need to happen, are there things we can do now to help reinforce that glasses really don’t have any bearing at all on whether a person is good or bad, or nice or attractive or mean or anything else?
Normally, I would turn to books, but I find myself annoyed at a lot of the books about kids in glasses that focus (no pun intended) on the fact that the kid’s friends laugh at their glasses, or the kid hates how he or she looks in their glasses. If she was just getting glasses, I think she might relate, but I’d rather not reinforce the idea that glasses are taunt-worthy if I don’t need to.
Or maybe I’m over-thinking it. Nearly everyone goes through a time in childhood when there’s something they don’t like about themselves, and if that thing for Zoe is her glasses, well then there are worse things to be upset about.
back-up pairs and warranties
When Zoe first got glasses, we only bought her one pair (the sticker shock was enough that we just couldn’t imagine paying for two pair), but between prescription changes and replacing scratched lenses, she ended up having to go without glasses pretty often while the glasses were in the shop. So when she outgrew those glasses, we got her two pair of glasses, and I think she went nearly 2 years with almost no repairs, and no prescription change. I considered just going back to only one pair of glasses when she got new frames this time, but I’m glad we ended up getting 2 pair. In the 2 months since getting her new glasses, they’ve been sent back for repairs twice: once for a major scratch on a lens, and once for a defect on the frame (it looked like the frames were going to split in two lengthwise along the bottom of one of the lenses). I’m so happy she’s had a second pair so she hasn’t had to go without glasses. And very thankful for warranties so we haven’t had to pay for any of the repairs!
I will continue to recommend a back up pair, and warranties whenever possible when it comes to glasses for young kids.
Me and my Four Eyes
By, Rebecca of Mommy, Ever After
Last week, we found out that our sweet girl needs glasses.
She is quite farsighted, in fact.
She was having trouble reading her T.S. Elliot Poems at bedtime, so I decided to have her eyes checked.
Oh. You know I’m kidding. She can read Preludes just fine. It’s her daddy’s car magazines that she’s having trouble wading through. I don’t blame her, actually.
In any case, we started to notice her eye turning in,
which happens to be exactly what happened to my mom at 3 years old
and my sister at 2 years old,
so we took her to a wonderful eye doctor and low and behold my baby needs glasses.
This news rocked me.
The rational, sensible, adult part of me accepted it with a smile,
while every other part of me was screaming “No! I don’t want them!”
They’re just glasses. Many people (including many people I love) have them.
But, to me, they’re a (n albeit small) challenge for her. They will, as my best friend said, make life only 1% more difficult for her, but that’s 1% more than I’m comfortable with.
And so, I’m looking inward, mustering up all of my strength, and trying to cope with this situation with a sound mind
and clear eyes.
All four of them.
There’s my one eye,
my scared eye,
that worries for her. Will this make life hard for her? Will she be sad that she can’t just jump in the pool without worrying about being able to see in the water? Will her eyes get worse? Will she feel bad about being the only kid in preschool with glasses on her face? Will she resent her glasses? Will they make her cry? Worse, will other kids make her cry?
And then, there’s my shallow eye.
My eye that sees my daughter, my beautiful, precious little girl, with the most perfect angel face, and the most soulful “Atlantic Ocean eyes” and thick, long black lashes, that will now be covered in a pair of little wire frames. Will the lenses distort her eyes? When people look at her, will they see only glasses? Will she only be known as the girl with the glasses? Will she be “cute, despite” them? Why do I care? Why can’t I get past this?
And then there’s my ashamed eye.
I’m the one who celebrates differences. I am the one who stands up for equality and tolerance. I am the one who preaches about acceptance and beauty that comes from the inside out. And yet, I am the one who is worried about the way my daughter will feel and look and think. I’m the one, who when I am being really, deeply candid, cares what other people will think. I am ashamed to say this, but it is the truth.
And then there’s my grateful eye. The eye that sees, so vividly, how lucky we are. We have a problem that has a solution (as my dear colleague reminded me yesterday). So what. They’re glasses. They will help her to see. We have a great doctor, and wonderful friends, and the resources to buy her whatever glasses she chooses. She has a tiny problem. Her problem has a cure. For that, I feel so very blessed.
Four eyes, all in conflict inside of me, sitting together like a lead weight in my gut as I stare at my little girl, and want only the easiest, most perfect, happy life for her. When I ask my sister, who has been wearing glasses for over 20 years, if she ever felt bad about herself because of her glasses she laughs, and reminds me of how cute she was.
She was known as the girl with the big, red Mickey Mouse glasses,
but also as the girl who woke up whistling because she was so happy,
and who always was surrounded by friends
and boyfriends
and was showered with more love than she knew what to do with.
And so, I’m going to try my very best to quiet my worries,
to assuage my anxieties,
and to keep on showering my baby with all of the love that I can muster.
I am going to look into her eyes,
now magnified by her tiny lenses,
and tell her how beautiful she is,
how smart she is,
how everyone who meets her loves her,
and how she makes my heart sing.
How proud of her I am.
How I cherish every part of her,
including all four of her cute, little eyes.
And, I am going to continue to give her as many bites of my Key Lime Pie gelato as she likes.
Yes, from here on out it’s eyes bright, heart light and glass(es) half full.
the right prescription
Zoe’s prescription increased pretty dramatically recently (her astigmatism jumped from +0.75 to +1.75). It really surprised me, since previous big prescription changes were usually preceded by her eyes crossing more, or Zoe not wanting to wear her glasses any more. This time, she had neither of those symptoms. But looking back, I guess there were a few clues. Most notably, she had been looking at things through the outside edge of her glasses rather than straight on. Turns out, she gets a stronger magnification looking through the edges of the lenses. I hadn’t noticed so much, but her teacher had noticed it at school.
Since getting her new glasses, she’s been looking at everyone and everything straight on again, and her teacher mentioned that she has just recently (again, since the new prescription) been able to catch a ball that is thrown or bounced to her, and accurately kick a ball about 4 feet towards a person. We’re thrilled with that!
So for us, signs that we might be looking at a prescription change include:
- eyes crossing
- eyes drifting apart (when she needed her prescription reduced)
- not wanting to wear her glasses
- not looking at things straight on, rather, looking out the side of her lenses
What other clues have you noticed that indicate your child’s prescription has changed?
Facebook group change
The Little Four Eyes facebook group was recently changed to the new group format. I’m going to come right out and say that I had been resisting changing the format, because I thought the group was working well the way it was. I was wrong, very wrong. The group has really taken off and is even more active than ever before. It’s been great for discussions and asking questions and getting feedback. If you’re not already a member, I really recommend taking a look and joining us – you have to request to be added now – one of the things I really dislike about the change. I’ll try to approve requests to join as quickly as possible.
Check out the Little Four Eyes facebook group!
Your stories – “I once was blind, but now I see”
Thank you so much to Crystal, for sharing her son Grant’s story. You can read more of Crystal’s writing and more about Grant at her blog, Sight Restored. -Ann Z
I could probably make an accurate guess that most of us have heard the story in the Bible where Jesus heals the blind man. I have heard the story a million times, but for the first time ever I have wondered how the blind man’s mother must have felt.
The weekend after our son, Grant, turned 2 months old, my husband and I started noticing this rapid movement with his eyes. We had noticed earlier that he wasn’t focusing that well. Having an older child, we knew that he should already be focusing but we also knew different children develop at different rates. We assumed he was just a late focuser before this point. This weekend was much worse though, and I was worried. He was constantly moving his eyes back and forth…back and forth. On Saturday morning, my husband had to go into work and our older son slept in. I spent a substantial amount of time that morning trying to get Grant to focus in on me. No such luck. My anxiety with the situation was increasing greatly.
We had to go out of town for a wedding that evening, where we met my parents. As my dad was holding him, I decided to confide in my family our concerns. I remember my words (and how crazy I felt saying them) as if it were yesterday. “Dad, I’m afraid Grant might be blind.” You should have seen the looks I got from my family. They had to think I was nuts! They spent the rest of our evening trying to prove to me he was tracking their fingers!
I was not put at ease. Sunday night I was standing over his crib, with his eyes moving everywhere, sobbing, begging him to “look at mama.” I knew something wasn’t right.
We had his two month check up the next morning, and thankfully I convinced my husband he should probably call in to work and go with me. Our pediatrician immediately noticed something was up, and recommended our first step should be to go to an Ophthalmologist. They got us in with a Pediatric Ophthalmologist that afternoon.
I was so scared. All I could do during the three hour break between doctors was hold him. And cry. And pray.
After a quick exam, the Pediatric Ophthalmologist informed us that Grant had cataracts. I felt like I was hit by a Mack Truck. The mother of all Mack Trucks. I lost it. I couldn’t hold it together at all. I kept saying, “So he can’t SEE???” Even though I had thought it all weekend, I realized at that moment that I hadn’t really thought it. He started spitting out things about surgeries, glasses, contacts, lens implant surgeries in the future…. Everything from then on is fuzzy to me. He told us we could walk over to his optical shop and look at the glasses. When I saw the lenses, the tears started flowing again. Those terrible glasses could NOT go on my beautiful baby.
The next nine days were L-O-N-G! I couldn’t get a grasp on what we were dealing with. After all, we had a two year old who had never had a medical issue, much less a vision disorder. I hit the internet. I found a million things on just about every other eye disorder, but barely anything on congenital cataracts.
Nine days after finding out, Grant had the surgery on his right eye. Exactly one week later he had the surgery on the left eye. We have never faced anything so scary. My husband and I couldn’t stand watching them walk away with our baby. Two of the greatest feelings we have ever felt were watching them walk back down the hall with him after both of the surgeries. Especially after the second one. We knew at that point we were finished, and we were getting ready to face a new normal.
The very next day, well there are no words. I will let this video show you what it felt like to see this angel see for the first time. (Please excuse the strong southern accents you hear!)
We are now a month out from the second surgery. We were able to stop all of the drops except for one yesterday (Hallelujah!!!), and we are pretty use to this new normal with glasses. You want to know the funny thing? I prefer Grant with his glasses now. They really have become a part of who he is. I love them because they give him vision. And let’s just face it. I think we will all agree that there is nothing cuter than a little four eyes!
For Little Eyes 